Love Story with Somewhat Inappropriate Music
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Artist:
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Album:December 18, 2004: NYC Early
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Don't hit that little red play button yet. Wait till I tell ya for maximum effect!Three years ago, the rest of my life began. I was in New York City with my daughter Rowen, and my girlfriend Suzanne and her kids Casey and Kylie. We spent the day doing Christmasy stuff with Suzanne's parents and brother and sister-in-law.All day long I was nervous and distracted by the ring in my pocket.When we hit the big Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, Rowen, as we'd planned, caused a distraction and I took Suzanne to one side and asked her to marry me.This was a huge leap of faith in many respects. There was the obvious leap of faith of blending our families and assuming that it would eventually work out and be worth the difficulty. And there was the difficulty for me, widowed for only fifteen months, of daring to fall in love again, to make myself, and more importantly my daughter, vulnerable to another crushing loss. Just over ten years before this day, I had married Kirsten thinking that we'd get to grow old together. Now here I was again, betting on a future that's never certain. And betting that, despite everything, it was possible for me to be happy again.It was a nearly perfect day, and then Suzanne's brother announced that they had two extra tickets for the Pixies concert that night and asked if we'd like to go.Off we went, and I was especially excited because Mike Watt, whom I've long admired but had never seen live, was opening. Watt (O, fellow mogger, forgive me) was not great. "Piss Bags and Tubing" seemed to go on forever, and the decision to replace guitar with hammond organ was, in my humble opinion, not a good one."Start your own band!" Watt yelled as he left the stage. I sat there holding Suzanne's hand and started to get a little anxious. I was excited, of course, but there were so many things that could go wrong--not just with the Pixies, but with our lives. What if the kids hated each other? What if her kids hated me? What if my kid hated her? What if somebody died? Again?Finally, the lights dimmed, and the Pixies came out and began to play. (okay, scroll up and hit the red button now).They were old (all of them), bald (Frank and Joey) and fat (Frank and Kim). They would not have looked out of place standing on the sideline at one of our kids' soccer games. And they rocked the fuck out. They looked as middle-aged as I felt, if not more so, but they weren't sitting around mourning their lost youth--they were on stage doing it better than people half their age, better, probably than when they were half their age.I actually had tears come to my eyes, which is probably not the usual response to "Wave of Mutilation", even the slowed-down UK Surf version. Because it was inspiring. Dammit, if the Pixies, at their age, can get up there and kick the collective ass of a sold-out venue, then maybe it's not stupid to bet on the future, it's not stupid to hope that in spite of everything, not matter how old you are or what's happened to you, you can still be vibrantly, wonderfully alive.I bought the CD of the concert, and here's the "Wave of Mutilation (UK Surf)" that opened the show. Depending on how fast you read, the song may be nearing its conclusion by now. Listen to the cheering--I'm in there, yelling with joy and, more importantly, hope.
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