LONDON—A year after the successful operation in which Motorhead frontman, Lemmy Kilmister, had the repugnantly grotesque, infamous warts removed from his face, much to the chagrin of many of his loyal fans, the warts themselves have finally decided to make a public statement of their own by forming a band named, “The Cocoa Puffs,” choosing a name given to them by many of Lemmy’s followers when ...
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My reasoning for not expecting much from Mr. Bean’s Holiday was twofold: Firstly, I hated Bean, the first film of this series. It’s cliché story was embarrassing and excessively Hollywood for a film based on a British television program. Also, in between a narrative I neither cared for or paid attention to, were all the same gags I had already seen on the television show (Remember Mr. Bean ge...
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Not since The Maltese Falcon has a film been able to capture a book so perfectly, beat for beat, as the Coen Brothers’ version of the Cormac McCarthy novel, No Country for Old Men. The story seems almost tailored made for the filmmakers that created such crime classics as Fargo, Miller’s Crossing and Blood Simple. No Country… is a terse, rough and rugged story of lies, deception and murder, w...
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Not only is it a celebration of the art of filmmaking, as well as a celebration of the pop culture Quentin Tarantino loves so dearly, the 2009 World War II epic saga, Inglorious Basterds, is also the film that will one day go down in history as Tarantino’s masterpiece. Drawing on influences from other World War II films, Spaghetti Westerns and Marvel Comics, Tarantino’s heroes are as bold as C...
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Much like its director, Brian Depalma, Femme Fatale, a creatively slick crime drama that deconstructs the Hollywood archetype of the same name, has been completely ignored in this country since its release in 2002. Regardless, it is still a cinematically inventive masterpiece that utilizes every possible convention of the genre and then turns it upside down, in a way that only Brian Depalma ca...
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I know some people who hate Jack Black. Truthfully, I can only take him in small doses. I love his cameo in Anchorman when he kicks Will Ferrell’s dog off the bridge. I also love his performance in High Fidelity, playing the obnoxious loudmouth opposite the shoe-gazing, Todd Louiso. In School of Rock, though, you don’t just get a film with a lot of Jack Black in it. You get a film that was w...
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Who is Harry Nilsson (And Why is Everybody Talkin’ About Him?) is another fantastic, yet ultimately tragic story of a songwriter fighting his demons and losing that battle within himself. Like The Devil an Daniel Johnston, Be Here to Love Me: A Film About Townes Van Zandt and You’re Gonna Miss Me: A Film About Roky Erikson, the Harry Nilsson documentary also chronicles a battle with drugs and d...
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The biggest shock to me when viewing I Know It Was You: Rediscovering John Cazale was coming to the realization that this actor, who I had been watching over and over again in some of my favorite films ever, had actually only made five films. Five! The greatest period of American Cinema is undoubtedly the “Hollywood Renaissance,” spanning from the introduction of “Easy Rider” up until the blo...
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Werner Herzog, Germany’s answer to Martin Scorcese, at least in the sense that his movies are unrelenting at times in their brutality, their honesty and their depiction of troubled characters, has been bidding to become a Hollywood filmmaker for some time now. His first attempt, Rescue at Dawn, starring Christian Bale, was a failure in every sense of the word. It was at times pretentious and ...
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Based loosely on Le Samurai, by French New Wave director, Jean-Pierre Melville, Ghost Dog tells the story of a hitman who lives by the code laid out for him in the book, The Way of the Samurai. It is a dense film, at least in the sense that Jarmusch mixes several genres in this tale, in a way that only Jim jarmusch can. It is at first the story of a warrior, a hitman, who lives and breathes a...
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This is easily the weakest of the original The Fly series. It is the third and final installment and bares little resemblance to its predecessors. In fact, to accommodate its story line, the makers of the film actually change the plot details of the first two films. In The Fly, Andre Delambre, the original scientist to mix fly and human DNA, had a son named Phillipe. Phillipe would then bec...
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Seth Rogen as The Green Hornet? Michel Gondry directing a superhero movie? I haven’t a clue as to how all of this is going to pan out, and for one simple reason: I’ll never know because I’m never going to see this thing. My first impression when seeing the preview was how unsuperhero-esque Seth Rogen is. And then I wondered how producers could’ve allowed him to be casted. Then I learned he wrot...
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By now, you’ve probably read of how the Coen Brothers’ latest version of the Charles Portis novel, True Grit, greatly differentiates from the original version starring longtime cowboy, John Wayne. The Coens, again, as they had with Cormac McCarthy’s No Country for Old Men, remain as faithful to the book as catholic sons to their mother. Not all, but most of the dialogue comes directly from Po...
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Big news from the front desk!!!! Starting in January of 2011, The Umpteenth Times will be bringing to you all the “Music News That’s Fit to Fake” via video in a format entitled, The Umpteenth TImes Television (or “UTTV”). The host of these videos will be longtime UT contributor, Carl Kuckle. The content of these videos will contain the same humorous tone as the written UT articles you’ve grow...
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Although it’s almost been a month since National Ransom, Elvis Costello’s latest, has been released, I’m only getting to review it now because the damn thing is so dense that it has taken a month to only start to get at the crux of it. Elvis said on NPR he really released a double album, which is true. National Ransom contains sixteen songs. And knowing Elvis, you know very few of these songs l...
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This is director David Yates’ best contribution to the Harry Potter film series so far. He not only added some affecting touches to the existing story (especially during the opening ten minutes), but also made other modifications that seem bizarre in today’s world of fast-paced, uber-edited, super-violent action movies. Still, though it’s every bit as dark as its contemporaries, it somewhow lac...
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Rolling Stones Still a Band LONDON—It has been reported by The London Times that there has been no change in status in regards to The Rolling Stones' existence. All members are still alive and the band is apparently still functioning. When asked what is holding them together, Times reporter, Clive Blarmhelm, speculated, "They're like an old blanket that you've had for years but can't throw away, e
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Arcade Fire Almost Finished Boring America MONTREAL—After peaking at number #1 on the Billboard charts with their latest release, The Suburbs, Arcade Fire have decided they are "through playing boring, pretentious artsy music." "Our next record is going to sound like AC/DC or maybe even Slayer," said singer, Win Butler. Still, Arcade Fire doesn't expect anyone in America to notice their drastic ch
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Weezer Fails to Take Asthma Medicine, Attacks Occurs During Encore of "The Sweater Song" TEMPE, AZ—Yesterday, after every member of Weezer suffered a collective Asthma attack onstage during their encore (due to their road manager forgetting to pick up their collective inhaler prescription), singer, Rivers Cuomo, was seen backstage plastering his chest with Vic's Vapor Rub, exclaiming, "That's the
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