Untouchable? More Like Rape.

+ Combine the concepts of the Spice Girls' "Spice Up Your Life" and the 1997 film, Contact.

+ Cheapen the budget to "Something Kinda Oooh" proportions.

+ Take the costumes from "Sexy! No, No, No" and run them through a shredder.

+ Add fire.

+ Kill Girls Aloud.

And there you have it...The video for "Untouchable," a single that could quite possibly be their first to miss the Top 10 in their entire career.

You just know that it's Sarah Harding's fault.

SIT YOUR INTERGALACTIC, GAGALICIOUS ARSE DOWN, WOMAN. CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE CRASHING INTO EARTH'S HEMISPHERE?

Honestly, I'm getting a bit tired of these low-budget videos featuring the Girls lined up in a row of five. Sure, "The Loving Kind" was somewhat fitting, but this should have been their seven minute Pop Epic; a journey across the extremes of the Earth, searching high on the open seas, or simply killing the Sugababes. I mean, Nadine should have at least been holding a harpoon at some point.

They do look gorgeous as usual if it's any consolation.

I'm off to replay the "Merry Christmas" shout out from Britney a few times to erase these images from my mind.