Weezer: I Just Can't Quit You Though I Should...Ratitude & Zombies.

I'm still basking in the glow of my beloved Yankees winning their 27th Championship last night. Thankfully, I thought ahead enough to wrangle a willing fill-in. Without further ado, I bring you The Round Table's most avid reader, F-to-the-T, to share his thoughts on Weezer and zombies... um... just go with it...

"They're after the place. They don't know why, they just remember. Remember that they want to be in here." - Dawn of the Dead

I don't know why I still get excited for new Weezer songs. Like the zombies in Dawn of the Dead, wandering the mall, chasing after the phantom of satisfaction from some unremembered pleasure; I keep coming back for more.

There is something instantly familiar about Weezer. Rivers Cuomo isn't a particularly gifted singer, but you know a Weezer song when you hear it. That voice, plus power chords … I'm ready to fall in love all over again.

Instead, I realize that I hate Raditude at about the same time Lil' Wayne comes in on the track "Can't Stop Partyin'." "Can't Stop Partyin'," without the guests, is about one evolutionary step away from Lady Gaga. Lil' Wayne, who is only about one evolutionary step away from a 10-year-old with tourettes, just puts the cherry on top of a dessert I already knew I wasn't going to eat.

When did Weezer become a parody? They were always humorous (see "Pink Triangle") but there was always a bit more to hold onto. It's not that I can't appreciate a fun album without deeper context, but I have Cobra Starship for that.

It's not like I'm a Weezer purist. I really like the green album. I even like Maladroit … mostly. Make Believe has its moments, but most of them start with "WTF." The red album had "Pork 'n' Beans" and a lot of crap. And Raditude has … pretty much all crap, at least when Weezer is heading it up.

Am I surprised that the only decent song on this album - "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" - was co-written by the over-talented and under-appreciated Butch Walker? No.

I remember getting a burned copy of the blue album at summer camp in the mid-90's. I remember buying the Mallrats soundtrack just so that I could listen to "Suzanne." I remember "El Scorcho" playing at the bowling alley in La Crosse, on radio station that no longer exists.

But this latest chapter? I'd like to forget it.

Still, Weezer, if and when you release your next album, I will be there - excited to hear the new tracks - like a zombie - at the mall - without reason or purpose - but hoping to finally grasp some past memory and carry it forward.