A battle of epic proportions between Kid Rock and Kenny Chesney

I'm starting to like Ms. Whitney from Entertainment Weekly's Music Mix, she just has a way of saying things that makes them somehow bigger and more powerful and definitely more entertaining than they maybe actually should be.  Take her new article about Kenny Chesney and Kid Rock performing at Stagecoach for example...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times on this, the closing night of Stagecoach. As the sun set over the hills of Indio once more, those of us in attendance found ourselves bearing witness to a tale of two headliners, an entertainment battle of thunderdome proportions. In this corner, wearing the black silks and way too much bling, we had Kid "No Really I'm a Country Star Now" Rock. And in that corner, wearing the gray cotton, we had Kenny "He's Not the 287-Time Entertainer of the Year for Nothing" Chesney. The two faced off like samurais, bringing every inch of power to bear upon the stage. Guitars were played. Pyro was unleashed. Video screens seared corneas. But in the end, one man emerged victorious, and it was not the man who valiantly tried and failed to segue "The Roof is on Fire" into "Ramblin' Man."

And so while I must tip my (non-existent) cowboy hat to Kid Rock for compressing the entire history of modern recorded music into an hour and a half, tonight's headliner was the dude on top of the poster, the man who saw Kid's lunacy and vaulted over the crazy bar with ease, the guy who never met a shirtsleeve he didn't cut off. Kenny Chesney has a lot of hype. You should believe it all.

Almost sounds like they were about to pull swords and fight onstage, eh?  But it's not only Kid and Chesney that Ms. Whitney gets all word-fancy on, there's also Stagecoach itself (Somewhere between the blacksmith stand and the Soap Network promotional tent, I decided that what Stagecoach lacks in drug culture, it makes up for in freebies, and wondered if the two weren't somehow connected), The Zac Brown Band (With the crowd booming the words of "Chicken Fried" all around me, I took a moment to mentally thank the brave men and women of our armed forces for fighting for our freedom so that the terrorists do not come and take away our fried chicken), and the "Neutrogena-fresh radio country" of Sugarland. 

It's a great read, check out the whole article here.