beansideirae

Posts by beansideirae

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gardens and fairies
almost 4 years ago

i'm sitting in my living room, cat blinking away on my lap, reflecting on my week. some weeks are so stressful, you cant wait for them to be over. this wasnt that kind of week. this was the kind of week where my house stayed gratefully clean, two new critters joined my menagerie (yay for fancy rats!), and the fairies are dancing in my little hanging garden. gardening seems to have been a theme of

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gardens and fairies
almost 4 years ago

i'm sitting in my living room, cat blinking away on my lap, reflecting on my week. some weeks are so stressful, you cant wait for them to be over. this wasnt that kind of week. this was the kind of week where my house stayed gratefully clean, two new critters joined my menagerie (yay for fancy rats!), and the fairies are dancing in my little hanging garden. gardening seems to have been a theme of

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or not...
about 4 years ago

that was short-lived. three fights with the isp, one computer meltdown and an OS switch later... apparently the widget doesnt work with linux. which wasnt quite high enough on the priority list to keep me from switching to linux anyway. so long widget, we hardly knew ye. i am in a somewhat melancholy, somewhat restless, quite thoughtful mood tonight. my current thinking music goes about like

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i'm bach!
over 4 years ago

here i am back on mog. was starting to think i would never get to do this again, with the lack of internet and all the things pressing for my attention. i am glad to be back. and somehow comforted that, while my life twists around its roller coaster, mog remains roughly the same. tho the now-working widget is a nice change. (the fact that i apparently cant upload songs right now, not so much.)

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in the end it all comes down to me
over 4 years ago
woflpacks
over 4 years ago

i dont really consider myself a lady. for one thing, i think i forfeited that honor with my unladylike behavior post high school. there is also the small question of whether someone can be a lady when they're trying awfully hard to be a guy. but at present i am a girl. so i would like to be a lady, and am trying to behave more like one. whether i can be one or not is probably up to each pers

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moving on
almost 5 years ago

ten years. ten years of trying to fit in, struggling against bad impressions i made before i was self-aware enough to realize what i was doing. stupid mistakes. failed relationships that made way too many gossip headlines. layer on layer of bad memories. shame. and now my life is packed into a thousand little boxes marked "fragile", awaiting the moving truck to take me away to the city. if i

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my song, at last
almost 5 years ago

this story deserved to be told in its own post. once upon a time, in a town far far away... my mother used to tell me that this song was "my song". but, i somehow managed to never actually *hear* the song, or very little of it. and then we didnt have it anymore. so i grew up knowing that this was "my song", but not actually knowing what it sounded like. i guess my parents forgot about it. now

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the new love of my life
almost 5 years ago

legal music militants, read no further.so i had an appointment, and i was running late. took a shower, suffered thro a motherly lecture, grabbed some cash for gas and ran out the door. opened the car door. threw my stuff on the far seat. stopped dead.the rear view mirror was lying neatly on the floor. i looked at it o.O and looked at it O.o then my brain turned back on and the shock passed,

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almost 5 years ago

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