MOG

My dear extended MOG family, my iPod is gone.

This is the sort of misfortune that wants to prompt a wail or a "why" times five thousand but as the fuse of my frantic panicache reaches its brittle peace the broken opus settles on a 48 measure rest of tell all silence because any effort to wave a fist is futile.

It is not coming back.

I don't think anyone quite understands what this means to me. I can't complain to my friends because a) I don't want to spread the negative. I mean, they're fine to know I'm rather down but I really just want to whine and whimper childlike for five days straight but I've already been dropping my despondency about and I can't do this anymore for the week in front of them because - sidenote - I had some really junky things happen in between like getting my car towed, tons of speeding tickets and bills and literally losing my license in a cab the same night after losing my bank card so I have no means of spending money, no actual money to spend, no ID to get me in places, and no ID to show the officer when I finally got my car out and got pulled over right after. And it sucks and I can only blame myself. I do blame myself. How could I be so careless? Things happen. but. I could have been so much more careful. And still every one of the people around were so nice and I appreciate that. But the awful is still lingering and with no music to quell the rut it SUCKS. It really freaking sucks.

And I do not know why I allowed so many bad things to happen to me at once but they all just happened! and I do not know where to put yuck of my inside. I'm out of control of this. The music is all gone! I wish it were right here with me. I can imagine the effort that went into that thing clinging to my head via my cheap 10 dollar headphones... Why couldn't I have lost that disposable plastic instead.

Bad music.

I'm sitting in a school bus and the severed driver is playing Coldplay. (As generic and almost unreasonable of a band as that is to dislike, I just don't like them, and I'm sure it is a psychological choice.) and I'm desperate attempt to cover my ears but the bully is sitting overweight on my tiny hands.

Exasperation. blink and effort to relax but the ugh sound relentlessly gnaws on open eardrums. Mer.cy.

I am upset. And I don't want to waste anymore negative on my nice friends. Because another thing and the B-side to forcing composure around the friends - b) I'm not sure if I need empathy, but most of my close friends do not connect with music like I do. - and please please on my humble, this is not a conceit, it is just a matter of a passion and personal preference. I have my own personal passion for organizing music and listening to it and connecting with it and putting it so personally perfectly together so you can reach maximum listening potential for any given mood. etc., etc. Music really really really on a depthful level means that so much to me. So they can be sorry, which I sincerely appreciate, but I'm not sure if many of them exactly know the extent of the loss.

So I settle my sadrey self here because

I think only MOG might understand my detriment.

60 MBs of irreplaceable playlists. :(((((((((((((((

You guys know. This community can probably get that.

I lost it 2 days ago. But it really didn't hit me until now, 2 days later. I can really only blame myself for not being more careful and it's my fault for not backing anything up but they were just spontaneous playlists, really, that worked somehow. So I don't know if I even had the time to go through and back them up.

And I just tell myself you can't exactly take that thing with you when your body expires so get over it now. Right?

And still I can roll an eye at myself and say I am being ridiculously dramatic. Yes. I am overdramatizing myself. because losing this SUCKS.

The MOG player does not seem to be working itself right. So I only have a link.

.Martha Wainwright - "I Have Lost So Many Friends". http://home.comcast.net/~audgz/MW-Lost.mp3

I have lost so many amazing songs.

goodbyePod. you will be missed.