I think my first post here was about Soundgarden

Posted over 5 years ago
My last post was about Michel Legrand. About getting back in touch with my father and then him dying from cancer. I went on a major nosedive right after that.I had a roommate who was an obsessive compulsive neat-freak. Who was literally starting to drive me insane. I mean for real. Ever know someone who was always trying to drag you into their problems? Make their problems into your problems. Well that was her in a nutshell. It got worse after my father died. It was like she was trying to compete with me in some bizarre game of misery. Not to get too dramatic, but if I hadn't moved out when I did someone was gonna get hurt.I was living in the hood in Oakland. I had the rear window of my pickup smashed in because I had the temerity to call the cops about all the crack dealers up and down the street. I was getting tired of driving and hour and a half to go 5 miles to downtown SF all the time. I wanted to move, but I didn't know where I wanted to go.My way to deal with all this stuff was to drink ALL the time and smoke pot ALL the time. Get home from work at 6 or 7 pm. Kill a sixpack plus a couple extra singles. Kill a pint of Cuervo. Smoke half an eight of weed. Smoke half a pack of cigarettes. Go to bed. Next day, do that again. I was going on like that for about 6 months.This became my theme song.Whatsoever I've feared has come to lifeWhatsoever I've fought off became my lifeJust when everyday seemed to greet me with a smileSunspots have fadedAnd now I'm doing timeCause I fell on black daysCause I fell on black daysWhomsoever I've cured I've sickened nowWhomsoever I've cradled I've put you downA searchlight soul they sayBut I can't see it in the nightI'm only faking when I get it rightWhen I get it rightCause I fell on black daysCause I fell on black daysHow would I knowThat this could be my fate?So what you wanted to see good has made you blindAnd what you wanted to be yours has made it mineSo don't you lock up something that you wanted to see flyHands are for shakingNo, not tyingNo, not tyingI sure don't mind a changeBut I fell on black daysHow would I knowThat this could be my fate

Comments (6)

  1. slantera says My condolences to you. Life is hard, man, and I think we all have our own, "Black Days". Music can help us. It is our outlet in life when there is nothing else around.
    Permalink posted 10/16/2006
  2. RGM says I feel ya Brother! I'm not competing just sharing, by the way my song from "SoundGarden," was "Just Like Suicide," I have a few people like that around me and now I live out in the middle of the woods in the Pacific N. West, I had close friends and their friends parents dropping left and right, my granparents who were really more like my real parents died when I was around 11, made a huge scare on me, still really miss them, my health has gone down the tubes. I tried to keep working, but several doctors really suggested that I stop working, I'm restricted from driving right now. Just had a brain seizure and have blackouts on top of that I got M.S. and several other conditions. Urgent cares always send me to the emergency. I started to drink more, but my Guardian Angel Wife, put a quick end to that. They say Men getting drunk is a sign of or way of masking Depression. I use to beat the shit outta my bass, or sometimes overplay on stage and people would later comment on my playing and give me a huge compliment. I didn't know the fuck I played, to busy being pissed off on stage about something from the past or something, don't know if I'm really that good. Anyways live out in the middle of the woods now and I'm a slob... LOL
    Permalink posted 10/17/2006
  3. bubb says This is one of my Favorite CD's/Bands ever. Thanks for the post!
    Permalink posted 10/17/2006
  4. lemontwist says Isn't it amazing how music can pull us through rough times? Or how it can really open our eyes to how we're feeling, and what we're doing to ourselves, and help us change?
    Permalink posted 10/17/2006
  5. ebuzzmiller says Man I LOVE "Superunknown". But when I got bummed out, the track I listened to was "The Day I Tried To Live" - it always cheered me up. Never heard it stoned, tho.
    Permalink posted 10/17/2006
  6. ROCKNROLLPIMP1 says an obsessive compulsive neat-freak,THAT USED TO BE ME and i had to drink a 12 of bud and half a fifth of crown and smoke the 1/8 to deal with my madness....lol i was not a problem maker just a maker of problems. that song right there was one of mine i used to get through my bros suicide now you know why i was really HIGH all the time keep correctly taggin them posts!!!
    Permalink posted 10/18/2006

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