So many Snakes
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Artist:
so, last night i went to see snakes on a plane with a few of my friends. zach, grayson, and i decided that we couldn't just go to the movie, we had to come in costume. after all its the midnight showing. here's how it went down:3:00- I call Zach. We make plans to go costume shopping.3:05- Grayson calls and is informed of plans to rendezvous at my house3:30- We meet at my house and begin to look for costume store, fabric stores, thrift stores, etc. so we can make snake costumes for Zach and me.4:00- List is complete. We embark.4:20- We arrive at the sewing store in Lafayette4:40- After finding the perfect material(mine is hot pink, slightly sparkely, with some patchy black scaly stuff and zach's is thinner and semi-tiger striped) and 48" long zippers, we try to explain the concept of subtraction to the witch selling us the cloth. She doesn't get it. We settle for addition, measure the cloth, and buy our stuff.4:50- We hit Safeway to get some cardboard boxes for Grayson's plane costume.5:20- We leave with 6 boxes and some crappy burnt pizza sticks.5:30- We arrive at Boswells, buy some fake snakes, some face paint, and Krazy Mazes for rattles.6:00- Call into Rob to get our tickets. We're informed to shw up haf an hour early for the snake party.6:05- We hit True Value Hardware Store in Orinda to get spraypaint and duct tape for the the plane costume.6:15- Back at my house, ready to rock.6:15-7:50- Design and stitching/taping7:55- Jerked chiken and rice8:05- Bust out the sewing machine and stitch on the first side of one zipper. Things are looking good.8:15- We need to change the thread. We try. We fail. It's okay, there are three smart capable men working on changing one thread. How hard can it be?8:30- Answer: Very Hard8:50- Still trying9:10- Damn this sucks9:30- Manual is NOT helping!9:50- WHY IS THIS SO COMPLICATED!!!9:60- Zach and I resort to hand stitching. Grayson keeps fighting.10:10- Izzy shows up and saves the day with her supreme sowing godliness.10:30- Izzy has sown on both zipper(all 48" of em!) and I have finished spray painting Grayson's wings.10:40- Zach and I stitch the sides to the front so it doesn't droop, making the zippers completely useless in the process.10:50- We craft the tails and use duct tape to make windows on Grayson.11:00- Hacking in snake suits and high fives for all the guys11:20- We depart for the theatre for a snake party at 11:3011:40- We reach the theatre. It's slightly festive. We get free posters.12:00- The film starts!!!1:40...ish- Sam Jackson delivers "THE LINE". Crowd cheers.2:00- Arrive back at homeThis movie consumed 11 hours of my summer(of which I currently only have 89 hours and 49 minutes left). I feel terrible. I'm not even going to review the movie. That would take up even more time. It was not good, but it was still better than Miami Vice and a lot of people got OWNED by snakes and Sam Jackson yells a lot. That's all I'm saying about the film. What I will say is this: I have had it with these motha' fuckin' snakes on the motha' fuckin' plane!!!!!!!
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