MOG - TroyPowers's Posts

The Rise and Fall of Scott Storch

TroyPowers — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:38:37 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080718/ap_en_mu/music_scott_storch_s_fall

An interesting (if slightly tabloid-ish) article at Yahoo news about one of hip-hop's brightest producers. It kinda reads like a warning to aspiring artists out there. It's crazy, I can vividly remember seeing this dude on Cribs flaunting his $10 million mansion and yacht. Now he owes a half a mil in real estate taxes, hasn't been seen in public in ages, and hasn't had a hit in 3 years.

Kinda sad. Despite his beef with my favorite producer, I like Scott's music. I hope he gets his shit together. Maybe he'll wake up in Philly and re-join the Roots. I think they did their best stuff with Scott anyway.

My last Jay-Z @ Glastonbury post (probably)

TroyPowers — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:00:48 GMT

I'm in the process of multiplying the mp3's of the show (danke msquared64) at http://troypowers.multiply.com/music/item/717/Jay-Z_Glastonbury_28_songs. Or you can just get them where I got them at http://www.sendspace.com/file/faosfq. If anyone's interested in an mpeg video of the entire show, I've got that too. Just message me for the link. I warn you though, the file is over 800, damned near 900 megs. It's a good quality video though. Just gonna take you a few hours to download.

HAAA!!! Jay-Z showed those fuckers!

TroyPowers — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:38:43 GMT

I had only been keeping up with the Jay-Z/Glastonbury drama half-way. I didn't see what the big deal was, but I had never heard of Glastonbury before the big stink about Jay headlining it.

Anywayz, to all those who thought hip-hop had no place at Glastonbury...

Damn, I think this dude represented hip-hop well Sunday night. I'm trying to download the full performance now. I'm proud of Jay. Way to stick to your guns and prove the critics wrong!

Rage Against the Machine is the HARDEST rock group EVER!

TroyPowers — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:50:36 GMT

I'm back, bitches!

So, prior to June 7, 2008 I knew jack shit about Rage Against the Machine. Sure, I had heard a couple of their songs, but...whatever, just another white guy trying to rap. But, before hopping across the pond for Rock im Park, a friend of mine told me that they put on a good show, so...

About 5 minutes before they come on, I grab two cups of rum and coke, and start wading my way through the crowd. I figure if I hurry, I can make my way pretty close to the front. So, I'm bumping and manuevering, shoving and squeezing, and I make it about half-way before the stage darkens and the siren begins. So, as the guys take the stage, I double my efforts, but it's a bit harder now...but, I'm no quitter.

Well, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The second Rage goes into their first song, the entire crowd fuckin' ERUPTS! Sure, in the video it just looks like a bunch of people jumping up and down, but when their packed in like sardines it just turns into this huge mosh pit and you have just about no control over anything. You're just kinda thrown about catching the occasional elbow to the temple.

Well, it only took me about 5 seconds to realize I was in over my head and start trying to swim back out of the madness. But, it was like trying to swim in a fuckin' tsunami. Completely hopeless. I'm getting bounced and shoved every which way, struggling to keep my feet, just...I don't know...there are no words for how mad this place was. I'm sure for old pros it was nothing, but coming from pretty much a strictly hip-hop background...yeah...it was like being dropped into a pit of rabid, wild hounds.

So, I'm slowly making progress to the outside of the crowd, but somewhere along the way, I had gotten the hang of this thing. I threw a couple elbows, shoved a couple fuckers, tossed some guy into what looked like a battle royale...damn, this is kinda fun! By the end of the first song, some poor guy comes through the crowd crying "Let me out! Let me out!!!" Haha...Pussy!

Man, I tell you, Rage grabbed a hold of this crowd from the first note, and never let go. That crowd was electric, pure raw energy constantly. We're outdoors on a cool night, and at any time I could look up into the air and see the steam rising off of the bodies in the crowd. It was really like a sauna in there. The 5 minutes that it rained were a blessing. And, aside from the initial fear for my life, I loved every minute of it. By the end of the set, I had my own little section of crowd to command, and had even advanced to the point of sending text messages (gotta set up the post-show booty call) while withstanding wave after wave of mad, frantic head-bangers.

Really...I could learn to like this.

DJing in the 22nd Century

TroyPowers — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:09:40 GMT

Saw this over at gizmodo.com this morning, and thought it was pretty interesting.

ATTIGO Touchscreen Turntable Waves Bye Bye to Grooves, Scratching

"Live DJ-ing takes a step further into the 21st Century with this invention which lets DJ's view, cut, grab, loop and mix tracks by doing live waveform editing on a twin touchscreen "turntable." Invented by UK student Scott Hobbs as part of his innovative product design course, ATTIGO is about the same size as a conventional deck set-up, but has all the flexibility of digital track storage: choosing new tracks without all that swapping of vinyl. Check out the video to see it in action."

Final Product // ATTIGO TT from Scott Hobbs on Vimeo.

Troy's Rock Band Song of the Week (aka I Feel So...Dirty)

TroyPowers — Fri, 23 May 2008 13:55:47 GMT

Okay, to understand my journey with this group and song, you're going to have to go through it exactly as I did.

Step 1: Play this song.

So, I got home last night, and decided to download a few new songs to play on Rock Band. I picked up 5 new tracks. Songs from 30 Seconds to Mars, The Police, QotSA, and The Monkees.

Look...don't start with me about my bizarre musical tastes.

In addition, one of the last songs on the list was a song I'd never heard of called "Monsoon" by this group Tokio Hotel. Never heard of 'em, but the 10 second clip of the song that played when I highlighted it sounded pretty good, so I popped it into my basket with the others.

So, after failing miserably at playing "3s & 7s" on the hard difficulty, I found myself playing all of my new downloads on medium. "Monsoon" was the last one I played...and played...and played...over and over again. I really liked this song.

I mean, it's a nice song. Nice lyrics. Nice melody. It's catchy. Sure, it's a little soft. I found myself thinking things like, "Man, whoever wrote this song is a fag!" and "My friends are gonna clown me for liking this song." But, it's sweet.

To me, this song is what Rihanna's "Umbrella" should have been. Not necessarily because they both use rainy weather as simile for the rough times. I remember listening to Rihanna's song for the first time and thinking that the whole umbrella thing was just kind of weak. Like, okay, if I don't stand under your umbrella, I'll get wet...but I'll be okay. I mean, unless it's raining ginsu knives...I'll probably get to where I'm going okay. Ya know what I mean? It's just weak. It doesn't give me the feeling that it's something important. It really didn't have a whole lot of feeling to it. Okay, so it's a silly pop song and I should just zone out and enjoy it. Which I did after being bombarded with it for months. But, the fact remains that it's a weak fucking metaphor.

A monsoon on the other hand...well, yeah. Saying that you and I will make it through the fucking MONSOON...that's saying something. :)

So, after I had tired of playing the song on Rock Band, I decided to look up the video.

Step 2: Watch the video.

So, now I'm like, "Wow, I didn't realize that's a girl singing." I felt kinda bad. I listened to the song fifty-eleven times, and all the time I was mistaking this chick for a guy. But, upon giving it another listen...oh, I guess that is a woman's voice.

Then, I read a few of the comments to the video.

"the singer is gay and a fag daniel you blow the singer's dick"

"tom, u hear me.. u r WAY hawt~ nobody will replace u in my heart except my bf..;P.. haha!!! lurve u tom kaulitz"

"i love him, this song is awsome

"Best song ever..!! Tokio Hotel 4Ever ♥♥ I don't really care if ppl say that they're gays, emo or whatever!!! TH Rocks!

Oh, shit! Have I just been listening to some teenage girlie music? Is this the rock version of the Backstreet Boys? Is the fuckin' singer a guy or a girl?

So, I google the band and click through to their wikipedia page.

Wait!

What the fuck was that?

I hit the back button, and see some of the google images that came up for the band.

Step 3: Look at these friggin' pictures!

Oh, damnit, man!!! Okay, so not only is the lead singer completely gay...but they're all a bunch of kids?!!? FUCK!!! What have I been sucked into? Wait! I didn't mean "sucked"! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm going to take a SCALDING hot shower and cleanse myself of this teenage, emo, androgynous filth!

Still a good song though. :p

Author's note: I have nothing against homosexuals. It's just a guy thing. It's strange for a male to wear eyeliner and do the whole "androgynous" thing. Who the hell decided that was cool?

Anyway, to make a long story long. Google says their a bunch of kids from Germany. Their first two albums were recorded in German and were big hits in Germany and Austria. Their 3rd album, Scream, consists of English language translations of songs from the first two albums.

For anyone interested, here's the original German version of the song.

We're on MOG-strike

TroyPowers — Thu, 15 May 2008 23:24:52 GMT

NO MOG WEEK

Per the above link, I'm on Mog strike. In exchange for our valuable data on what the hell we listen to, we'd like a website that works. Also, we want the old mog player back. See ya in a week...maybe.

This Shit is GREAT

TroyPowers — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:42:10 GMT

Why doesn't MOG have an 80s day? I guess there just aren't enough days in the week.

Added bonus video:

Man, this commercial is SO hilarious. Unfortunately, only one of my friends is actually old enough to get it.

Damnit, I LOVE the 80s

TroyPowers — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:34:16 GMT

There simply will never be an era for music (or entertainment in general) like the 80s. I don't know why this song popped into my head today.

Will somebody tell me why he's standing there with a guitar looking like he doesn't even know what it is? Dude, at least put your hands on the strings.

Is this the most feminine looking male ever?

This is a photo from a friend of mine's birthday party last month. A saw the picture, and thought to myself, "What the hell? Is she even old enough to remember the 80s?"

It turns out the theme of the party wasn't the 80s. It was "Bad Taste".

lol

Busta Rhymes and...Linkin Park?!!?

TroyPowers — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:27:34 GMT

Okay, so I think mollifire first hipped us that this track was coming. Well, I just jacked it from hiphopdx.com. The verdict is still out on this one, but after the first listen...I like it. The hook is going to have to grow on me, but Busta does his thing, and Mike Shinoda has definitely stepped his rhyme game up. What do you guys think?

Haha, Frost. Beat you to it. :p

Rock Band Song of the Week: Brainpower

TroyPowers — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:08:55 GMT

Nope, sorry, Cody B. It's not Money the Myspace Guy. It's Freezepop with "Brainpower".

Okay, so this is a song I initially overlooked until I had to sing it. The lyrics go something like...

Had a good idea the other day gonna start a new band and we’ll learn to play yeahhhhhh we’ll be the best if you’re looking for our record at the mall well here’s the thing, we’ll be called…. braaaainpower

did i mention i was drunk when i thought it up it was pretty dumb nooooooooooooo maybe not the best it is not a good band name no, i should have used that very same braaaaainpower that i'd mentioned before

brainpower! brainpower! brainpower! brainpower! brainpower! brainpower! brainpower!

Yeah...sooooo...mid-song I'm thinking to myself, "This is the most ridiculous song ever!" I mean, it almost sounds as if she's making it up as she goes along. There's a part in the second verse where she obviously messes up the lyrics, and just laughs it off and continues. Just pure idiocy. And for some reason, I loved that.

So, I decide to delve further into this whole Freezepop thing, and here's what I find at wikipedia. The idiocy continues.

"Freezepop is an indie synthpop/New Wave band composed of Liz Enthusiasm, the Duke of Pannekoeken (originally the Duke of Candied Apples, as well as the Duke of Belgian Waffles, all three pseudonyms of Kasson Crooker), and the Other Sean T. Drinkwater (who claims to be a clone of the "original" Sean T. Drinkwater). They formed in Boston, Massachusetts in 1999. The band is named after the frozen snack. The members describe their music as "sweet and cold and fruity and plastic-y", much like the snack."

Other little gems I found out about Freezepop:

-Kasson Crooker (aka the Duke of Pannekoeken) is the Audio Director for Harmonix, the video game developer that created the first two Guitar Hero games, and...yup...you guessed it, Rock Band (among others). Well, that's one way to have the inside track.

-Freezepop released a remix of their song "Shark Attack" which was done with a Nintendo Entertainment System and a Commodore 64 computer.

-The group released a song "Science Genius Girl (hi-phive Mix)" which features Liz reciting the first thirty digits of Phi. (or, did they mean Pi?)

-Freezepop was once arrested in Canada for trying to enter the country under false pretenses. How the hell does that happen? I mean...it's CANADA! Why the hell would you have to enter CANADA under false pretenses? Were they trying to smuggle back genuine Canadian maple syrup?

Anywayz, it's just a fun song by some fun kids.

by the way, the player below does work, even though it doesn't list any of the song info. damnit, we need to start a petition to get a new mog player!

Oh, and in lieu of the gratuitous booty shot, I'm including a photo of Wilford Brimley.

Enjoy :)

Thank You For A Funky Time....Call Me Up, Whenever You Wanna Grind

TroyPowers — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:23:33 GMT

So what if it's not Sunday. Just a little something I'm feeling today. The Dave Grohl (below) version is okay, but Cee-Lo kills it!

The Lord is My Shepherd, He KNOW What I Want!

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:21:05 GMT

Stacey Dash This woman is 42 years old. And Scribes was holding out on the pics.

Have a nice day.

Rock Band Song of the Week [or] Hindsight is Always 20/20

TroyPowers — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:02:39 GMT

So, yeah, I'm completely nuts for this video game Rock Band. I mean...come on...it's a video game where you get to be a rock star. What's not to love about that. Add to that, it's introduced me to a TON of new music. I mean, I really have an appreciation of rock music that just wasn't there before. I knew I was lost when I found myself walking to thy gym, holding my daughter's hand singing, "Heeeee's the one...who likes all our pretty songs...and he likes to sing along...and he likes to shoot his gun..."

So, this week, my favorite song is one I downloaded by Garbage called "Why Do You Love Me?" In hindsight, I realize that the lyrics for this song make it much more appropriate for my previous Shirley Manson post. But, she's much sexier in the other video so...all's well.

Anywayz, here's Shirley Manson and 3 other guys with "Why Do You Love Me."

Oh, and if any of you haven't played Rock Band yet, shame on you. This game is ridiculously fun. Here's what a typical evening at the Powers house looks like. A few friends of mine performing "The Hand That Feeds."

I'm not in this clip because I was doing the filming, but I expect there will be more to come. Might even get into shooting my own videos for the songs. :)

More Completely Hilarious Use of the Word 'Nigger'

TroyPowers — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:37:06 GMT

Anyone else watch Human Giant? A friend of mine turned me on to this recently. Here's one of their spoofs of Criss Angel.

mtv.thehumangiant.com

Hmmmm...if video doesn't work, click here.

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out a.k.a. The Sheriff's a Nigger!

TroyPowers — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:28:57 GMT

Oh, the good ol' days when people weren't so fucking uptight. My mom was watching Blazing Saddles on TNT or something a while ago. I watched for about five minutes, then just thought to myself, "How can you watch Blazing Saddles if they're going to bleep the word 'nigger'?"

Anywayz, funny stuff. Somehow I see this scene getting quite a few remixes if a certain someone makes it to the white house.

lol...white house

Shirley Manson: UglySexy

TroyPowers — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:52:58 GMT

Shirley Manson is an oxymoron. Shirley Manson is not an attractive woman. Shirley Manson is incredibly sexy.

I can remember seeing Garbage's "Stupid Girl" video for the first time and being very conflicted. Between the huge forehead, the down syndrome eyes, and they pasty white skin, there's no way that I should be attracted to this woman. But, lord help me if I wouldn't fuck her to the point it was almost assault. Just something about her attitude.

Love her PETA ad.

And here's the Rock Band song that got me on this whole rant. Damnit, she's wearing a polka dot dress and combat boots! That SHOULD NOT be sexy to me! I've been hanging around far too many while people. Enjoy the video while I go redeem myself by listening to music about selling crack, fucking hoes, and wearing ridiculous jewelry.

BTW...according to wikipedia, this chick is 41 years old?!!? Did she out-fiddle the devil?

P.S. The audio works even though there's no song info listed there.

One More Time for Those Who Wanna Actually Hear the Song

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:26:25 GMT

It took quite a bit of googling (apparently, those Brazilians could give a damn about the internet), but here it is in 128kb, 44100Hz, stereo goodness.

Now...

CREU, CREU, CREU, CREU, CREU, CREU, CREU, CREU!!!!

Creu is for the kids, man. It's for the KIDS!!!

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:00:25 GMT

Just in case you haven't had enough Andressa for one Friday morning...

The chant of "Creu" gets faster as the song goes on. So, the payoff is in the end (no pun intended). If you really want a good laugh, check out the kids dancing in the background.

On What Planet is this Woman Beautiful?

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:36:30 GMT

Okay, completely random and non-music related, but I need some kind of explanation here. So, I read a headline on Yahoo or somewhere about a diamond studded thong being shown off at some fashion show. Well, that's interesting. I'd like to see what a diamond studded thong looks like.

So, I follow the link, and see the above image. Talk about disappointment. They took a $120,000 pair of underwear and put it on that? WTF?!!? Her hair looks dirty. She's sickly pale. She's just really gross looking to me. And, I excepted long ago that my idea of beauty and the fashion industry's idea of beauty would never quite coincide, but...come on! Really?!!? This is cute?

And, now it's time to...

CREU!!!

So, a few of my Brazilian friends put me on to this. Apparently, Creu is the name of a song and accompanying dance that's HUGE in Brazil right now. The word translates loosely to "hump." So, basically, these young women are gyrating their asses to the repeated chant of "HUMP, HUMP, HUMP, HUMP..."

And Brazil has officially passed Japan and taken top spot as my next place to visit.

Let's see that up close.

How, 'bout in slo-mo.

Yes. I want to actually fear that your ass might consume me. I believe this ass'...err...woman's name is Andressa Soares, and she's a dancer for MC Creu.

If you like this, just do a youtube search for "creu." You will not be disappointed.

And Since My Girl Set it Off with Some M.I.A...

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:54:10 GMT

...a little something I had laying around.

Pick a Style...ANY Style!

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:39:03 GMT

Just wait for it. Black Thought batting clean-up on this one.

"Right now, somebody sittin' in the darkness Tryin' to figure how to put some heat in they apartment But, they got a little mattress, little carpet And they appreciate it, cuz some people on a park bench You see 'em when you rushin' to get to the office Wife ride by 'em when she comin' from the market Right now, somebody comin' out the pocket Tryin' to dump that rock They runnin' 'round the block with Same time the cops is raisin' the glock With aim to fill ya legs and ya back with some hot shit Right now, somebody strugglin' to stop this man That's kickin' and punchin' and cussin' at the doctors Down the hall a child takin' his first breath The doctors ain't even pass him to the nurse yet Yo, I wonder if he understands what it's worth yet Life, the time spent while we here on the earth yet The answer to the questions we all seek Can be found, it depend on how free y'all think Right now, it's somebody who ain't eat all week That would kill for the shit you throw away in the street I guess one man's trash is the next man's treasure One man's pain is the next man's pleasure One say infinity the next say forever Right now, everybody gotta get it together, man..."

And Just in Case You Didn't Know Thought Had Styles

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:23:32 GMT

Of of Planet Asia's The Medicine.

Check how Planet Asia flips Black Thought's style of the last verse.

Vital...Lyrical...Science

TroyPowers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:09:09 GMT

So, my girl brittanybf told everybody to throw up a lyric. Well, I started to, and it turned into a whole verse. Then, by the end, I realized such "vital lyrical science" really deserved a post of it's own.

This truly my be the single illest verse ever spit over 48 tracks. If you've got anything that can top it, please share. The delivery alone is a 13 on a scale of 1 to 10.

"Look into the window, tell me what you see Lieutenant University of Philosophy When ya not possibly escapin' what I'm meditatin' A shackle of thought tackle you while I'm educatin' Ya dome resonatin' from inhalation of darkness As I spark the smart shit fa which ya waitin' Situatin' me at the top of the pile Wild Delaware foul Pennsylvanian subterranean style Step up into my crevice and taste the medicine Of the champagne king like Evelyn Leavin' ya leveled and sabotaged It's all camouflaged like the devil and guns And coke peddlin', Olympic medallin' Flashback, that of a war veteran Blast that, the programmer Bringin' lashes 'cross ya back On some accuracy of a brainwashed Bosnian troop That swoop down through ya roof with foul sound On a lyrical Nat Turner mission Reactin' off of intuition Continuously alert, no intermission If ya ears hurt, you shouldn't listen That mean you artificial, and my style Will poison ya brain tissue Gettin' maimed and crippled, once the gamma rays hit you My grain's habitual, and I shall never go against The ritual I been masterin' ever since I was among the flavor youth Remain sharper than a saber tooth My deliverance is self-evident Vital Lyrical Science NOW!!!"

HHT: Watch for the Hook

TroyPowers — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:42:45 GMT

From a post by Mr. Frost about Gnarls Barkley, to a comment about Goodie Mob, to quite possibly my favorite song out of the Dungeon Family. It's off an album by DF member Cool Breeze, put he delivers probably the weakest link of the track. Outkast and Goodie Mob RIP this shit though. And the beat is sick!

I'm going to PISS myself! I'm going to PISS myself RIGHT NOW!!!

TroyPowers — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:43:20 GMT

Okay, I haven't mogged about him in quite a while, but my favorite singer on this (or any other) planet is Xavier Naidoo. He's a German guy that I started listening to a few years ago when I still lived across the pond. Excellent voice. Writes beautiful songs. After a couple mega-successful solo album, he started a group with a his band called Soehne Mannheims (Sons of Mannheim). Just incredible, incredible, incredible music. To give you an idea of how much I like this guy's music...I own all of his solo albums (live and studio), all of his group's albums (live and studio), and all of his and the groups live DVDs...which I had to specially buy a multisystem DVD player just to watch. I've wanted to see these guys live forever, but they're just never on tour when I hop over there.

Well, I'm taking my daughter to Germany to visit her mom this summer. I was sure that Xavier and Soehne Mannheims were not on tour this summer, but just for the hell of it, I checked his website. Well, I was dead wrong.

They don't have a big headlining tour this summer, but they are doing a few shows. One of them being the Rock im Park (Rock in the Park) festival.

From wikipedia: "The Rock am Ring (Rock at the Ring) and Rock im Park (Rock in the Park) festivals are two simultaneous rock music festivals held annually in Germany. While Rock am Ring takes place at the Nürburgring racetrack in the west of Germany, Rock im Park takes place in and around the Frankenstadion in Nürnberg, in the south east of Germany.

Both festivals are usually regarded as one event with a mostly identical lineup for both festivals. All artists perform one day at Nürburgring and another day at Nürnberg during the three day event. There have been minor exceptions in the past years where an artist will be announced for one of the festivals only.

Together Rock im Park and Rock am Ring are the largest music festivals in Germany and one of the largest in the world with a combined attendance of just over 150,000 people in 2007, selling out both events in advance for the first time.".

Well, ladies and gents, God must love me. My anticipated dates for my German vacation: June 6-22. The dates for 2008's Rock im Park featuring Soehne Mannheims: June 6-8. Yup. That's two, count 'em TWO, European music festivals in two consecutive summers for me. Life is GOOOOOOD!

The complete line-up of this year's acts looks something like...

36 Crazyfists Against Me Airbourne Alpha Galates Alter Bridge Babyshambles Bad Religion Bedouin Soundclash Black Stone Cherry Black Tide Bloodlights Booka Shade Bullet For My Valentine Cavalera Conspiracy Chris Cornell! Coheed & Cambria CSS - Cansei De Ser Sexy! Culcha Candela Danko Jones Die Toten Hosen Dimmu Borgir Disco Ensemble Disturbed Eagles Of Death Metal! EL*KE Fair To Midland Fettes Brot Fiction Plane Filter Gavin DeGraw High On Fire HIM Hot Chip!! In Case Of Fire In Flames Incubus Jimmy Eat World Joe Lean & The Jing Jang Jong Johnossi Jonathan Davis Justice Kate Nash Kid Rock Kill Hannah Lostprophets Manic Street Preachers Masters Of Reality Metallica Motörhead Nightwish Oomph Opeth Paramore Pete Murray Queens Of The Stone Age Rage Against The Machine Roisin Murphy! Rooney Rose Tattoo Saul Williams Seether Serj Tankian Simple Plan Söhne Mannheims Sonic Syndicate Sportfreunde Stiller Stereophonics Steriogram The Fratellis The Futureheads The Hellacopters The Offspring The Prodigy The Streets The Verve Tokyo Police Club! Turisas (!'s represent number of recommendations)

As usual, I've never heard of most of these guys. Though, I am pretty geeked to see QotSA and The Prodigy. The Streets should be interesting. I'm sure I'll check out Rage. Probably pass on Kid Rock. Probably try to catch HIM, Incubus, Fettes Brot, and The Offspring. And Chris Cornell was recommended to me by a couple moggers before last year's Sziget Festival, but he got sick and didn't perform. Anything beyond that, I'm depending on you guys to point me in the right direction.

And for those of you new to the wonderful world of Troy Powers, I'll catch you up on some of this German hip-hop/reggae/soul goodness!

Power of the Sound

Babylon Systeme

Vielleicht

Wir Haben Euch Noch Nichts Getan

Jah is Changing All - Live (This one's in English)

Outkast Still Major

TroyPowers — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:22:09 GMT

I didn't know 'Kast still had tracks like this in 'em.

Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake?!!?

TroyPowers — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:50:18 GMT

You all know what I think. Timbaland can do no wrong. Unfortunately, Madonna can. I'd still dance to it though. It's a nice beat. Superman music. Hopefully one of my favorite rappers will rip it on a mixtape.

Back in the Go-Go

TroyPowers — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:01:30 GMT

A little something to get your weekend started right. Don't know much about Wale. He's got a little bit of buzz here and there though. The return of D.C. hip-hop (Sorry, Tabi Boney).

We're back in the go-go!

(Disappointing fact of the day: Would you believe a google image search for the term "go go gadget penis" returned nothing interesting? What has the internet come to?!!?)

And now...

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:03:11 GMT

...back to the music.

This Man Could Make Me Proud to be an American Again

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:55:05 GMT

Most of you who know me, know that I'm not huge on the whole "America" thing. A lot of you know that the only reason I live here now is because I've got a good job and am getting a free education...but as soon as I finish this degree, I plan to pack up my baby girl and get the fuck outta Dodge. But, watching this man stand in front of the American flag and deliver this incredible speech, just makes me proud to be an American. And I haven't felt that way in a very long time.

Not that I hate America, but over the years I've just seen it become less and less a place that I could stand up and be proud to call my home. I've watched America become the laughing stock of the world. I've been in Hungary and had people ask me, "What's wrong with America?" I saw German newspapers run the headline "Oops, they did it again!" when George W. Bush was elected the 2nd time. Frankly, I'm just really ashamed to have the current administration represent me.

But the man in the video in this post (please use link at the bottom of the post to get to the full post which includes the video)...man, he just lays it on the line. He says some things that I would be afraid to say if I were running for President. But, it's the truth. Everybody has that trace of racism inside that they'll express around the dinner table or their closest friends, that they won't express in mixed company. But, until somebody just puts it out there and makes us look at it...it's not going anywhere. It's not gonna change.

I don't know, man. This is just a beautiful fuckin' speech, and I had to share it with those of you who missed it. Yes, it goes on for 40 minutes. But, I watched it. And I'll watch it again.

That's what's up, y'all.

(cross-posted from myspace)

More Women...More Oil!

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:38:34 GMT

MASONRY DRILL -Hammer action control. -Adjustable depth-stop.

If You Like a Little Bit of Music with Your Oiled Up Women

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:33:53 GMT

Dedicated to Mac Da Man and the SoBe affair.

Best Post EVER!!!

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:23:04 GMT

Yes, people. I'd just like to inform you that my friend mmcnamara14 has just written the BEST POST EVER! http://mog.com/mmcnamara14/blog_post/150586

Rock Band or Songs I Never Thought I'd Love

TroyPowers — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:47:58 GMT

So, I won't even attempt to make this post as glorious as the one the disappeared into cyberspace. I'll just cut to the chase.

A friend of mine was recommending this Guitar Hero video game to me, and I just did not think I would enjoy it. I figured the the rock songs and groups that I enjoy are far too few and far between for me to like this game.

So, that makes twice in my life I've been wrong.

Man, some of these songs are fuckin' GREAT!

Here's a list of songs I never thought I'd love: Detroit Rock City - Kiss I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs Mississippi Queen - Mountain When You Were Young - The Killers Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramons (This song is so much fun!)

But, my favorite of all (so far) has got to be...

And, thanks to the video, I no longer feel strange for thinking of sperm cells when he sings the lyric about "little soldiers in a row"

Anybody else out there play this game?

PS: MOG tried to eat this one too, but I was smart this time. Thanks Cody B!

I'm SO Pissed!!!

TroyPowers — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:06:27 GMT

I just wrote a BEAUTIFUL post about the Queens of the Stone Age song "Go With the Flow", and MOG ATE IT!!!

It was too long for me to write all over again, and even if I did, there's no way I could capture the spirit of the original post.

Fucking MOG gremlins.

li-li-li-li-lick me like a lollipop

TroyPowers — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:08:13 GMT

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not even a huge Lil' Wayne fan, but this is just a great fuckin' song.

I can see Wayne falling into that category of "I don't like him, but I like his music" for me. From the couple interviews I've seen, and the little I know about him, dude just rubs me the wrong way. But, the kid has come a long way. I'll give him that. And the little fucker's got a swagger. Gotta respect that. I even like the video.

Fuck That!

TroyPowers — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:33:23 GMT

Funny phrase "fuck that." And I don't mean "weird" funny. I mean "haha" funny. For some reason, it brings a smile to my face. Do a google image search for "fuck that" and see if you don't smile. Not at the pictures, but at the different captions.

Fuck that moose! Fuck that old man! Fuck that, mom! and, of course... Fuck that shit!

I don't know why these phrases make me happy. But, they do. (Come on. I dare you to say "Fuck that!" out loud without cracking a smile.)

Anywayz, let me get your Friday night off on the right foot. This is a song that always gets me amped. I remember going to clubs where this song couldn't be played because it would invariably get some sort of hip-hop mosh pit started, and consequently get someone's ass kicked (which meant I would never get to hear the third and best verse, because the DJ would have to cut the song and alert the security to "come get these niggaz!").

Good times.

Stick around to the end of the song to hear Swizz Beatz and his long series of "fuck that's". Good stuff.

"If you workin' at a job and the boss fire you...FUCK HIM!!!" Ahhh, the simple truths in life.

Friday Morning Wake-Up, Bitches!!!

TroyPowers — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:52:37 GMT

Yes, I can toss up a wake-up post at 10:36 a.m. 'Cuz I got it like that.

Since Monsieur Frost beat me to the punch posting Redman and Method Man's "Broken Language 2008", here's the even mo' betta classic original like cut.

Straight from the planet of 1995...Smoothe Da Hustler and Trigger tha Gambler with "Broken Language."

I love this shit!

HHT: Sample Clearance is Just Fine

TroyPowers — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:45:18 GMT

I'm loving this remix. Just makes me wanna hop around, do the wop, and various other dances that I should be embarrassed to remember.

So, what 1990 forgotten hip-hop classic did Swizz Beatz lift this track from? 5 points for title, 5 points for artist, and 15 points for embeded video or mp3.

Side note: You guys will rarely hear me singing Lil' Wayne's praises, but he really ripped this one. The swagger jacking was damned good. He really kept the same flow of the original track.

In the photo: Aria Giovanni, who, of course, has nothing at all to do with this post. But, with a body like that...being relevant is completely irrelevant.

In case you missed her the first time, here she is again...

...and again...

...and again.

Help me, fellow music lovers

TroyPowers — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:58:09 GMT

Okay, so there are these two videos I remember from a while back. Both by the same group (I think). Maybe Daft Punk, or something like that. They are cartoons. And they feature blue people from space that are in a band. That's all I really remember. I think there's a part when they are all in a state of suspended animation, then later, they're performing. I can see clips from the video in my head, but I can't hear the songs. Anybody out there know what the hell I'm talking about? Help me, Obi Mog. You're my only hope.

Oye Morena...or...For those who like their booty (bass) music with a little latin flair.

TroyPowers — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:17:07 GMT

Was bouncing to this one all weekend. DJ Laz, circa 1996. Have a nice lunch!

Hard Hip-Hop Wake-Up

TroyPowers — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:30:27 GMT

Good morning! Off the new mixtape We Got It 4 Cheap Vol. 3

How To: Get the Party Started

TroyPowers — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:51:02 GMT

That's easy. Give me a bottle and a muthafuckin' cup!

Happy Friday, everybody. I'm OUT this bitch!

Scrub Da Ground...or...More Reasons to Love Bass Music

TroyPowers — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:22:45 GMT

Yes, this is how teenage girls danced to this song when I was in high school.

Can somebody please find these bitches* to clean my house?

And example of a video you don't want posted on the internet. Not quite as gay as the guys grinding the ottoman...but, pretty damned close.

*Note: I use the term "bitch" not in the demeaning sense of the word, but in the sense that all women are bitches. :)

Thank you.

Captain Dick Comin', Captain Dick Comin'!!!

TroyPowers — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:58:33 GMT

I just don't know what to say about this song...except that I love it. Luke is the man.

Oh, shit! Don't you quit! Let me see you work it, BITCH!!!

TroyPowers — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:20:35 GMT

Would you believe that when I moved to Atlanta in '93, I HATED bass music? But, then a friend took me to a few parties and I saw that it made women to things like the picture above. Now, I have a true appreciation of the genre.

Fridays are for Partying...or...Doo Doo Brown!

TroyPowers — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:06:26 GMT

Uh...Uh...Get it...Get it..

Dance, bitches! Man, it has always amazed me how Luke has HUGE hit records...without actually rapping. He sticks to strictly call and response. I mean, this dude is FAMOUS for a record where he repeatedly yells, "Uh, uh. Get it, get it." and I LOVE it! So, I'm gonna hit y'all with a few of my favorite bass cuts today. Unless you work in a strip club, this shit is definitely not safe for work!

More Health Tips from Troy

TroyPowers — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:09:01 GMT

Not to leave the guys hanging (as it were), I'd like to also offer my full endorsement of fellatio. Ladies, not only is sucking dicks fun, it's good for you too! Did you know that semen makes you happy? It's true. Follow the link to find out that semen acts as an anti-depressant. And if you're planning on having children, you really owe it to yourself (and your future children) to read up on how oral sex makes pregnancies safer and more successful. And to top it all off (HA...I kill me), I've heard that semen is a natural exfoliant. Yes, ladies, it really is good for the skin. So, now, the only question should be are you gonna swallow it down, or wear it as a nutrient rich mask?

Hey...the ancient Egyptians did it.

Yes, ladies, beware. There are actual books out there teaching guys to do it themselves. Toss in a cookbook, and a robot that can clean up after us...and we will have actually evolved into a society that doesn't need women. :p

Need to Lose Weight Fast?

TroyPowers — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:23:53 GMT

EAT MORE PUSSY! One of the few things you can eat and burn more calories in the process than you'll take in. On top of that, it's just good, clean fun.

This message is endorsed for both men and women by Alyssa Milano, Troy Powers, and the Coalition of American Pussy Eaters (C.A.P.E.). -"Think your pussy is super? Put a CAPE on it!"

The Price Tag is YOUR ASS! or Daddy's Lookin' for a Lubricant

TroyPowers — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:51:12 GMT

Dedicated to R. Kelly A great song I just ran across from BDP's Sex and Violence album.

Good story that ends with a twist. I think this punishment should be instituted for our good friend Robert Kelly.

Anyway, the song is funny to me because I called up a new "friend" of mine yesterday to invite her to hang with me and a couple friends of mine at this bar downtown, to which she replies, "I can't. I'm not 21."

Leave Your Worries Behiiiiiiiind!

TroyPowers — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:50:16 GMT

'Cuz rain shine... Don't mind... We're ridin' on the Groove Line tonight!

Damn, just one of those old school, feel good songs! You see the footwork on those boys?!!?

Get up and boogie, bitches! It don't get no funkier than this!

Dedicated to Anna's Mouth

TroyPowers — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:57:51 GMT

Cuz it's the second sexiest avatar ever.

Honestly, I saw that little candy mouth thing (or, whatever the hell it is) and this song just popped in my head. And I'm glad it did. Just one of those obscure songs from my past.

When this song dropped, I was just a couple years out of high school, a recent college drop-out, and all I knew for sure in life was that I loved oral sex. A decade later...I'm ten more years out of high school.

Not much else to say. Notable appearance by Big Boi from Outkast.

Enjoy

HHTOF: Blow Ya Mind

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 21:09:32 GMT

Okay, I swear, this is my last post today. I just have to ask someone. What's with the guy swinging and hanging from a bar in this video. That's just some truly random shit. I hope this guy never shows up when I get high!

HHTOF: Just Plain Ignant!

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:38:12 GMT

One more, then I gotta go grab something to eat.

This song...I don't even know what to say about it. I thought I had posted it before, but I just can't seem to find it. Maybe the simple ignorance of the song was too much for the Mog servers to handle. Have a listen. And if you enjoy it...you'll hate yourself for it. :)

In the photo: Some handsome fellow about to get his drink (and possibly 2-step) on.

Don't Tell Anybody About This One

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:28:10 GMT

Another song that I'm ashamed to love. Yes, Bow Wow (somewhere along the line, he dropped the "Lil"), Omarion (of famed boyband B2K), and Chris Brown. Three artists you shouldn't love if you're not a teenage girl. What Can I say? It's a good song. I haven't listened to Face Off (Bow Wow and Omarion's Best of Both Worlds-esque joint venture), but I must admit that I quietly listened to Chris Brown's latest album Exclusive in my basement for a couple weeks straight. Shhhh! That's just between me and you.

In the photo: Another shot of Stella. Ya know, I just might break my "I don't date women over 25" rule for this one. That's if her father doesn't break my neck first.

More HHTOF

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:17:11 GMT

Yup, I coined that one all by myself. I want a nickel every time someone uses it.

Beanie Sigel and Styles P. This song will never be on TRL. It'll probably never have a video. Hell, with Jay-Z leaving Def Jam, the damn album may never come out. Regardless, these are two of the hardest rappers ever going hard.

In the photo: Me and my next ex-wife. Don't we look cute together? Except for the facts that she's about six inches taller than me, lives in Germany, and is the daughter of one of my best friends...we're the perfect couple.

More Hip Hop Thursday on Friday

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:08:23 GMT

This one just popped up on the 'net today (as far as I know). Young Buck is probably the only guy left in G-Unit that I'd still listen to. 50 made one great album, then sat back and rode the wave. Lloyd Banks always was a bore. And, Tony Yayo...yeah. But, Buck has always been on top of his game. So, the Phil Collins sample is a little overused in hip-hop, it's got a nice beat, and Young Buck handles it well. The boy from Memphis, Ten-a-key claims to be the soul of New York City. That's mighty big talk, Mr. Buck.

In the photo: Some gi-normous ass I saw while in New York City. What are they feeding that girl? Must be genetically enhanced cornbread and collard greens.

Hip Hop (Thursday) Is Not Dead!

TroyPowers — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:57:43 GMT

Okay, so it's actually Friday. Yeah, yeah. I can't concern myself with the small details. The point is, hip-hop is alive and well in the MOGiverse. And to prove it, I'm going to send you all into your weekend with a couple bangers.

First up, Everywhere We Go by Sean P (actually, Sean Paul from the Atlanta duo Youngbloodz. But, of course, there's already a Sean Paul in the music industry, soooo...). Good song. I guess the dude has been threatening to drop a solo album for a few years now. I don't know if I ever posted the song of his that I was banging all summer, but maybe I'll get around to it.

Anywayz, enjoy.

In the picture: My boy Doom, his wife Karin, and their oldest daughter Stella as we make our way home from a New Year's Eve party...waiting for the train. Everywhere we go, we ball...'til we fall...quite literally.

A Great Combination

TroyPowers — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:12:12 GMT

Killer Mike and Alexyss K. Tylor

Many of you will remember Miss Tylor from the hilarious clips of her public access show Vagina Power. If you haven't experienced her, hit YouTube RIGHT NOW! In the above clip, Killer Mike addresses the issue of spit or swallow with Miss Tylor, her mother, and two skrippaz. Personally, I find it insulting for any woman to spit my precious seed, but hey...you can lead a horse to water. :)

Hmmmm...this oughtta be interesting.

And this next clip...well...

I just can't tell you how many times MY penis has woken me up in the middle of the night and told me to go fuck Big Booty Suzy. Glad to find out I'm not the only man with a talking penis. I was beginning to worry.

In music related Killa Kill new, Mike's shelved album Ghetto Extraordinary has been released as a free download by hiphopdx.com (http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.6167/title.free-download-killer-mike-ghetto-extraordinary).

This was supposed to be the follow up to Killer Mike's debut, Monster, but was pushed back repeatedly. It's a shame too, because I thought My Chrome was a great song. A few of these songs appeared on Mike's The Killer Mixtape. I haven't given Ghetto Extraordinary a thorough listen yet, but there are some good songs here.

Nigga Moments

TroyPowers — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:02:02 GMT

Okay, so the second Season of The Boondocks has only been so-so. But, the Stinkmeaner Strikes Back episode was the best EVER!

I actually used a couple soundbites from this episode as my ringtone.

Oh, and Uncle Ruckus (the black man who hates black people) as the exorcist. It doesn't get any funnier than this!

"Before I Cheat" and where I've been

TroyPowers — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:10:59 GMT

This is six or seven months old, but I just found a copy of the video I could embed today. Enjoy.

I think it's a pretty kick ass cover. If you've been around my page for a bit, you know that I think Joe is one of those way under-rated singers. I'd take him over the child molester any day.

In other news...so, yeah, I haven't been around much. I've been going through some sort of musical depression. I still listen to music, but not as much, and it's somehow not as fulfilling. I have far fewer days when I'm in the gym listening to my mp3 player and I think to myself, "I have GOT to mog about this song today!" I dunno. Somehow, I'm out of it as far as music is concerned.

So, I've been lurking. I still read a few posts. I drop a comment every now and again. I guess we all take our mog hiatus every once in a while. Some of us return. The rest are fags. :)

In better news, the holidays have been great. My daughter made out like a bandit. I didn't score a wii, and therefore hate everyone who did (Chucky). And as you can tell from the profile pic, my social life is as decadent as ever. And I've discovered that you CAN have your cake and eat it too.

Maybe some good ol' 70's porn music is what I've been missing.

Anywayz, still love you guys. Happy holidays. And don't do anything I would do.

Troy Muthafuckin' Powers I

Hip-Hop Christmas Tunes

TroyPowers — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:47:44 GMT

I wanna put together a set of hip-hop christmas songs. Anybody got any good ones. So far on my list is...

Outkast - Player's Ball (originally released on the LaFace Christmas album in '93) Snoop Dogg - Santa Clause Come Straight to the Ghetto Run-DMC - Christmas in Hollis Ludacris - Ludacrismas

I hear Eazy-E has one or two.

For the Erykah Badu fans out there

TroyPowers — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:35:19 GMT

Yes, I'm looking at YOU Mr. Augusts1. :)

I'll multiply it (complete with instrumental and a capella) whenever my computer stops actin' all stank!

Oh, and no, the photo doesn't have anything at all to do with the song. Nice tits though.

UPDATE: Multiplied at http://troypowers.multiply.com/music/item/648/Erykah_Badu_-_Honey.

One Day You're Here...

TroyPowers — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:39:44 GMT

...then you're gone.

RIP

A legend in the south.

I'm not going to wax all philosophical on this one. Seems like we just did that. Besides, you all know my motto.

Get busy livin', or get busy dyin', folks. ;)

My fellow Moggers, you have failed me!

TroyPowers — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:59:22 GMT

Why am I the last person on earth to hear about this?

Sample Clearance: The Return!

TroyPowers — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:31:39 GMT

That's right, Sample Clearance is back, bitches. Inspired by a post from milkshake, this has got to be the easiest sample clearance yet. For those of you new to the game, I post the song, you tell me the artist and name of the song it sampled. Post an mp3 or youtube video for extra credit.

But, this time around, it's a bit different. I don't want artist and title. For full credit this time around, you have to tell me... 1) Where the sample came from 2) One interesting fact about the source of the sample 3) and post a video of the source. :) 5 points each.

Get busy!

And msquared64 cleans house for all the Pac-Man points, plus 10 more for Colors and Ice-T, for a grand total of... ...wait, gotta find my calculator.

Suck that creamsicle, suck it till it melts!

TroyPowers — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 18:11:49 GMT

Another good one from our friends over at The Onion.

This Is The Point In The Blow Job Where I Have To Be Careful What I Say

Ordinarily, I am a candid, even verbose individual, but this is a particularly sensitive time for me, so I will try to remain brief. We have reached a juncture at which I, the recipient of this mind-blowing oral sex, must make some kind of statement that is both timely and appropriate. Unfortunately I am uncertain how to proceed.

Clearly, I don't want this blow job to stop.

This is a very delicate matter. Everything has been going fantastically, and the last thing I want to do is to spoil a particularly good blow job by saying the wrong thing. But what to say? Silence is not an option, since she's likely to take that as disapproval. Or even apathy. No, it's settled. I have to say something and I have to say something soon.

It was so much easier at the beginning, when all that was required was a few moans here and there, and the occasional "ooh, yes." The protocol was clearly defined, and we were both in a comfortable spot. Now, however, even the slightest ill-timed expletive could spoil it all. Therefore, I must aspire to be more guarded, more eloquent.

I briefly considered going with "do it," but that sounds a touch derogatory, if not clichéd. She'd think that I was unoriginal or, worse yet, stupid. And who wants to fellate a dullard?

Then there's always the well-worn positive-feedback route. I could wait until she does something noteworthy, and let her know it by saying, "Oh yeah, that's it." But she actually might take that to mean the rest of it wasn't good, which is exactly the opposite of what I mean to convey. Or what if she feels like I'm giving her orders? I don't want her to think the guy she's fellating is some kind of domineering prick.

I should compliment her. Somehow. "You give nice blow jobs" seems too formal. "You suck it so good" seems too cheap. After all, this is a lady. On the other hand, perhaps she likes that kind of thing. Who am I to judge? I should have asked her before we started. For God's sake—where was your head, Dan?

Maybe something simple, like "You look beautiful with my penis in your mouth." No, that just seems, well, inappropriate is one word.

Why does getting sucked off have to be so complicated?

I don't know how other men do it. It seems to come so naturally for the guys in the videos. I suppose I should play off our shared interests. I could sing a few bars of that song we both like! It would be kind of a shared musical experience. Oh, who am I kidding? I can't sing, and something from Jesus Christ Superstar is vastly inappropriate for this setting.

I should have gone down on her first. That way there would be a set of mutually agreed-upon guidelines to follow.

Time is quickly becoming a factor. Any minute she could look up at me expectantly, and if that happens, I'm liable to blurt out something completely irreparable. And if I freeze and say nothing, she might become plagued with self-doubt, thinking she's done something wrong.

I could cut the tension with a joke, although I'm not very good at telling jokes, particularly when being orally serviced. Besides, I would probably lose my erection if she started laughing, and then where would I be?

I'll just touch her head. But not without asking permission first. Or not.

This could turn into an utter fiasco. I can't even count how many times perfectly good blow jobs have been ruined by a deficit of tact. I still haven't heard back from the woman to whom I unfortunately yelled, "Touchdown, Vikings!" And the time I tried out "Suck that creamsicle, suck it till it melts!" was misguided. I guess we all have our regrets.

Wait, I think I may have it: It's ribald, but not obscene, with an edge of wit. Why didn't I think of it before? It's brilliant! Oh, Dan, you've outdone yourself this time. Okay. It's now or never.

Well. I'm afraid that point is now moot.