WE DO THE MASHED POTATO AND THE FUNKY CHICKEN

Take Your Tongue Out My Mouth Cuz I'm Kissing You Goodbye: The Funniest Country Songs

Posted over 2 years ago
Hey if there's already a post about this, "sue me":http://www.cybertriallawyer.com/?ref=google1. Yesterday I and the rest of the trucking community were paralyzed by another heartwrenching country ballad by Brad Paisley. It's hard to see the road when Brad croons "I'd like to check you for ticks." It don't get much better than this! Hand me that gun, please.

Comments (17)

  1. mktackabery says um, there's a tear in my beer?
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  2. TooMuch says Have you heard Billy Currington's song "Good Directions" - it starts off with: I was sittin’ there sellin’ turnips on a flatbed truck Crunchin’ or a pork rind when she pulled up She had to be thinkin’ “This is where the rednecks come from” She had Hollywood written on her license plate She was lost and lookin’ for the interstate Needin’ directions and I was the man for the job and it ends with: Thank God for good directions…and turnip greens
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  3. Anna says ahahhaha you even gave a link to help the suing process ahhaha adorable :)
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  4. mktackabery says hey, that's not my law firm!!!
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  5. Anna says Taylspin is law firm-cheating on Michelle!
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  6. Rawkkiddoh says Still love this one, I posted it a while back......never gets old
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  7. carmensandiego says I head the tick song on the radio a couple weeks ago while driving through the desolate wasteland that is Indiana. "Did this guy just say he'd like to check someone for ticks?" I thought to myself. "Nah, I must have heard him wrong. I must have heard him wrong." When I returned to work the next week, I asked our office manager, the resident country music expert, if my ears were working correctly, and she simply sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, "Brad Paisley." I should have known. By the way, men out there, if you ever pull that line on me, that sound you will hear is not that of me swooning, but me choking on my own vomit.
    Permalink posted 05/19/2007
  8. Taylspin says Oh snap, Michelle, didn't realize! Can I include your company in all my "sue me" jokes? Hey, this could work out for both of us. Hey Carmen S., if I were a guy, and you started choking on your vomit, I'd like to pump your stomach too. I am glad but saddened that you could confirm that this song is for real.
    Permalink posted 05/20/2007
  9. fairportfan says *I Still Miss My Aim, But My Aim is Getting Better* *Thank God and Greyhound You're Gone* (Some years after the crossover hit, Geyhound Lines tried an ad campaign using the tune from this and "Thank God and Greyhound it's gone" to promote their package express service. It didn't help.) *May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose*
    Permalink posted 05/20/2007
  10. fairportfan says Arrrrgh. *I Still Miss My Man But My Aim is Getting Better* *Get Yer Biscuits in the Oven and Yer Buns in the Bed* *Asshole from El Paso* (and i don't care *what* it says on the label...) *I'm Not Too Old to Cut the Mustard (But I'm Too Tired to Spread It Around)*
    Permalink posted 05/20/2007
  11. Taylspin says Hahaha these are awesome! Are they for real?! I'm scared to believe that they probably are. Thanks so much for sharing the hilarity!!!
    Permalink posted 05/20/2007
  12. fairportfan says Well, *I Still Miss My Man...* is actually the title of "*a book*":http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671897500/mikewebersweberw, involving country music and the ghost of Patsy Cline... According to "*a review on Amazon.com*":http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671897500/mikewebersweberw:
    There are plenty of laughs in the outrageous, rhinestone-studded story of Shelby Kay Tate, a Nashville waitress hoping to make it big in country-and-western music, but they don't add up to humor. Aiding Shelby in her quest are Patsy Angel, the ghost of Patsy Cline; Ann King, a crusty old lady with an ear for music; and Jeff Wayne Capshew, a police officer who, unbeknownst to him, is Patsy Angel's agent on earth. Jeff Wayne's mission is to protect Shelby from her ex-husband, Leroy Mabry, who is determined to win her back or, he determines later, to murder her. Tossed in jail for assaulting Shelby, Leroy meets Mac McKenzie, an unstable fellow who, encouraged by the evil angel Rahab, leads the gullible Leroy on a crime spree once they're out on bail and plans to enliven Shelby's important club appearance with a pistol-packin' showdown.
    The next two are songs by "*Kinky Friedman and his Texas Jewboys*":http://electronictiger.com/reviews/sold_kinky.htm.
    The last is from the album "*Old Dogs*":http://electronictiger.com/reviews/old_dogs.htm, a sort of geriatric super-session featuring Waylon Jennings, Mel Tillis, Jerry Reed and Bobby Bare; an album of songs written (and produced by) Shel Silverstein, author of *The Unicorn* and *Boy Named Sue*.
    Permalink posted 05/20/2007
  13. Jonh Ingham says I Went to Bed at Two With a Ten and Woke Up at Ten With a Two I Hate Every Bone In Your Body But Mine I'm Going to Hire a Wino to Redecorate Our House and my personal favourite, Your Wife's Been Cheating on Both of Us
    Permalink posted 05/21/2007
  14. Taylspin says HAHA!! John I love these! CLASSIC. These country singers seem to have a good sense of humor about life. Fairportfan, thanks for the info - and this geriatric ho-down intrigues me. I love Shel, that dirty old man! I can't find Old Dogs but I did find Old Blind Dogs. Is that the same group?
    Permalink posted 05/21/2007
  15. fistula spume says Egads. Is this what country has come to? Ticks? Whatever happened to nice classic songs like "You're the Reason Our Kids are Ugly".
    Permalink posted 05/23/2007
  16. yrralmallik says Loving it right up.Leave it up to Brad to cut this song.Funny little tune.Your Mog Bro.~(;Yrral Mallik;)
    Permalink posted 05/24/2007
  17. sinnervip says I LOL'd ;) lyrics or poetry? brad paisley, wordsmith that he is, proves it's one-in-the-same
    Permalink posted 07/17/2007

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