R. Kelly - Double UpJive, 20075 stars of 101. "The Champ" (with Swizz Beats)"Are you ready for me?" R. Kelly asked on the first song, "The Sermon," from his 1995 self-titled record. "Before I start, I just wanna get a few things off my chest." On that intro, a gospel-organ slow jam, Kelly preached against judgment (lest ye be judged) in a move of self-assurance bolstered by passionate religious faith. He had recently become famous; he had also just married the 15-year-old Aaliyah. For me to recite the litany of the allegations leveled against Kelly since then, 12 years and five solo albums later, would be needless. Suffice to say, his reputation currently precedes him more often than not, so this time the pastor's turned to boxing. Kelly spits "The Champ" self-righteously like a rapper, except he actually sings it, and there's no beat, only a cycling "orchestral" piano and synth-string motif. No one else could do this. He's inspired by the same things as in "The Sermon," but he's furious. It would be easy to list the entire lyric, because it's outstanding, but my personal favorite line is: "Y'all cats is foreplayin'/ I'm pregnant by the game." Clearly, he's glad to get these things off his chest, since this is the only song remotely like it on
Double Up.
2. "Double Up" (with Snoop Dogg)3. "Tryin' to Get a Number" (with Nelly)4. "Get Dirty" (with Chamillionaire)11. "Hook It Up" (with Huey)14. "Rollin'"These are all unremarkable club bangers, and it's understood why he created them, as he explained himself in
this episode of R. Kelly TV. He was making a record of ballads called
Making Babies, and then he realized that he was being left behind by the radio. More to the point, he would have been leaving his own (to quote Will Smith) "new hotness" behind, considering how often he's been heard recently on popular hip hop and club R&B remixes. "Ignition" and "Ignition (Remix)," from 2003's
Chocolate Factory, showed that he was more than capable of marrying his slow jam expertise with party jam infectiousness. Sadly, the party music on
Double Up is dull, more pop-polished than the also-dull bangers on his last album,
TP.3 Reloaded, but also more offensive. I should at least be thankful that there's no song quite as bad as "Walk It Out" or "Shoulda Lean," but that doesn't make these tracks any better."Tryin' to Get a Number" brings us Nelly, and "Get Dirty" brings us Chamillionaire, and these are both unfortunate things to be brought, even if Kells's high-energy get-ladies verse on "Tryin' to Get a Number" is somewhat stirring. But despite featuring the latest of Snoop's slept-through-this appearances, the title track, "Double Up," also has two firsts: 1) Kelly's first-ever (yet '07-requisite) sped-up-lady-singer beat construction, and 2) a lead vocal utilizing
the Cher/Akon/T-Pain auto-tune effect.
5. "Leave Your Name"When "I'm a Flirt (Remix)" hit radio as the first taste of
Double Up, I got excited, because it's a great song, and I also noticed just a hint of something that I consider a part-time nemesis:
auto-tune, that glitch-hiccuping, pitch-correcting vocal effect. I'm not talking about T-Pain's verse - he's a menace to quality, by the way, and should be stopped right now - because he turns it up to 11 and goes hogwild and that's his thing. But R. Kelly's voice with auto-tune on it is a sad affair. He has one of the most expressive and beautiful voices in R&B music today and he's generally, wisely and tastefully, left it untarnished. Yet the effect's recent popularity in R&B music has superceded wisdom, and so he now decides to embrace it."Double Up" flaunts it first, and then "Leave Your Name" coats almost the entire vocal in it. He should not have done this. It's an otherwise likable ballad, not one of his best but pleasing, painting R. Kelly's life as a party without end and the consequences and responsibilities (sort of) that come with it. Every vocal line he sings, backing and lead, is nice, but a vast majority of them are heavily auto-tuned. Nevertheless, the song is a grower, and after a few listens, the effect has gone from first offender to a secondary distraction, a testament to the pull of his core musical instincts, deeper than most skin-level irritants.
6. "Freaky in the Club"Reggae meets the Young Rascals' "Groovin'." Skip it.
7. "The Zoo"It's a song like "The Zoo" that keeps me on board. Those of us who took part in his latest tour were treated to an a capella version of this song, and it sounded like a joke routine, what with lines such as "Like Jurassic Park, except I'm your sexasaurus baby" and Kells's audience-in-pocket timing allowing for appropriate hoots and laughter. On
Double Up, with full studio treatment, the joke, like so many of his would-be sex jokes ("You Remind Me of Something," "Ignition," "In the Kitchen," "Remote Control," etc.), becomes a giddy, compelling R&B fantasia. With an arrangement recalling Aaliyah's more sumptuous, stuttering-beat jams, "The Zoo" is the basic joy of modern R&B music at its best. (Fun fact: the Oakland performance I attended has been released on DVD, and so the comparison between the a capella and orchestrated versions can be made by anyone choosing to rent or buy.)
8. "I'm a Flirt (Remix)" (with T.I. and T-Pain)9. "Same Girl" (with Usher)I won't go on about either of these, since you, radio listener, have already heard each of them 30 times. "Same Girl," single #2, is weak. The tune's flaccid, and Usher simply sounds more generic than Kells, even though their pleasure in trading melismatic wails (regarding their revenge against the girl that, it's dramatically revealed, is double-timing them with each other) is a little bit infectious, can't lie. But "I'm a Flirt (Remix)," single #1, is still great. Not tired of it; that piano riff is infinitely meaty and delicious. Sure, I tune out when T.I. comes on and I cringe when T-Pain shows up, but Kelly's verses are long, comprehensive and way too much fun. "Let me remind you that I am the king of R&B" - okay.
10. "Real Talk"Talk about drama; "Same Girl" has nothing on "Real Talk." The soulful, sensuous slow jam backdrop seems to beg for some high-class sex crooning from Kells. What do we get? Sung, with a spoken intro, R. Kelly presents the male half of a tense dialogue between a guy and his girl. Being who I am, my most immediate reference is the argument archetype from Woody Allen's movies, in which the man is so indignant about the accusations leveled at him by his significant other, and becomes so angry and convincingly defensive, it almost doesn't matter that he might actually be guilty. He spends three minutes getting more and more upset, and never once says that he
didn't do what she says he did: "Wait a minute, let me finish what I've got to say! I've been with you five years and you listenin' to your mo'fuckin' girlfriends. I don't know why you fuck with them jealous, no-man-havin' assholes anyway." At the end, he's screaming and sputtering, and yelling for Milton (relationship unclear) to take him home. By the second listen, there's nothing not to love about this song.
12. "Rock Star" (with Ludacris and Kid Rock)Obviously one of the worst songs of R. Kelly's career. Hopefully, you won't hear it on the radio.
13. "Best Friend" (with Keyshia Cole and Polow Da Don)"Best Friend" should be better than it is. It's a scene for three, and the details in the dialogue are charming, but the tension in this one is not well sold, and the scene gets tiresome way before it ends. Besides, "Trapped in the Closet" (the first five parts, anyway) may have been edge-of-seat stuff, but part of its novelty came from Kelly voicing all the characters himself. By the second listen, there's not much reason to listen to this one again.
18. "Rise Up"This is the last song, but I'd rather not talk about it last. It's a tribute to the aftermath of the Virginia Tech massacre. Good intentions, naturally, but the man can't write a major-key inspirational ballad that isn't trite. Not yet, anyway.
15. "Sweet Tooth"16. "Havin' a Baby"17. "Sex Planet"With this climactic triptych, Kells tries to knock three classic grooves out of the park and only succeeds with one. "Havin' a Baby" is a literal description of that exact event and the feelings surrounding it, and it sounds more like a track from his earlier solo years, both in production and in its melodic style. It's too generic and shrill, and I just can't abide. "Sweet Tooth" gets closer to past sex jam glories, but it's too thuggish and verbose, although I must note the appearance of the dripping-water sample, something I didn't even realize I missed until this song.But "Sex Planet" ... well, it takes off. All superlatives about "The Zoo" can be applied twice over. You're strapped into R. Kelly's Metaphor 11 for five-and-a-half glorious minutes of space flight. You will hear him reference the Moon, all of the planets (and Pluto), the Milky Way, shooting stars, satellites, "out of this world," his "giant rocket," "your galaxy," "your black hole," and more. Did I say all of the planets? I meant it, because you will hear him sing the line: "Girl, I promise this will be painless, painless/ We'll take a trip to planet Uranus, -ranus." The chorus wraps up with the subtle intonation of a "vvvrrrrrrRRMM" and the send-off: "Have a safe trip, babe." At the climax, he repeatedly encants, in a falsetto, "Blaaaaaaaaaa-AAAST off..."Meanwhile, the guitar playing is as sensual and versatile in the language of R&B as any classic soul platter, and the chord voicings on the tremoloed electric piano are as soothing as possible. And just for good measure, Kells's vocal on "Sex Planet" is as much an embodiment of the argument against his brief (and hopefully short-lived) flirtation with auto-tune as anything else it also succeeds at being. It proves he not only doesn't need it, but he thrives without it. The quiver and slide in his tone is absolutely essential to his art. "The Zoo" may be why I stay on board, but "Sex Planet" is why I can be found listening to R. Kelly's songs on repeat for days. It's
absolutely wonderful. Thank you, Lord, for giving R. Kelly this strength. Regardless of where else he may dabble, musically or otherwise, may his well of slow jams remain full and wet, and may he continue to dip from that well until ... well, there are a few things that could happen to him, so let's just say until he just can't get it up anymore.-Spencer Owen
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