hey all,
yea, so as the name suggests, this post is basically gonna be pretty cynical. it features me venting my problem(s) in a way most likely boring, disinteresting, and lame, but i've to do it, it's for my own good. and it's my blog anyway.
so, as a everyone who has survived high school, or are currently doing so, knows, a crush sucks a big one. especially one that you can't get over, or so it seems. This girl, that i'm crushing on, entered the scene my sophomore year. i had talked to her on AIM weeks before school began(i forget how we started talking..maybe it was over myspace, back when i had a profile). anyway, we got along as best as two people could over instant messaging. so that relationship carried over into school, and to make a longer story shorter, i, not crushing on her right then, made the mistake of not talking to her and hanging out with her often. well, by next semester, we might as well have been strangers. well, conveniently enough, i started to crush on her. i can't remember what kicked that presently-dreaded cycle into play, but it sure did so. so, ever since then, i've been desperately trying to improve our relationship. but it's getting nowhere it seems, and i think i'm becoming paranoid out due to the desperatism generated by this senescent condition. it's like she will gladly carry on conversation with my other two friends, but when i try to be friendly and do the same, all i ever get is a "yea" answer, as if she is only agreeing in order to shut me up. i also feel like she knows i'm crushing on her, and maybe she's just getting some sort of revenge for how i treated her beginning of sophomore year. and the worst part is the incertainty. i just don't know, and that's the problem. i just wish i could get some kind of indication as to if she is annoyed by me and dislikes me and wishes i would just not bother anymore, or hopefully that she would like to be better friends, and maybe even more than just friends, with time. god this whole thing is just unhealthy. it's torture. and i've tried getting over her. that attempt failed this summer. i'll probably just go on finishing high school still trapped in this miserable quick sand of a condition. then go on to college and miss being around her. the fact is wether or not i like it, i'll get through it. in my favor or not, the future will happen. i'm just crossing my fingers it'll lean my way.
well, comments are always appreciated. thanks again to you guys who read my blogs and comment and all. it brightens my day always. well here's a said song to compliment my mood. it's "the lake" by aqualung. enjoy.
My Trusted MOGs
Well....it is difficult to offer any advice that wouldn't seem like empty words. The female of the species is a precious, terrifying, mystifying, mesmerizing creature, no? As obvious as the cloud and as touchable. The heart's terrain is mapped in the occasional glance, or the way she tosses her hair. Her voice can melt iceburgs or scar diamonds. She can hold your heart in her talon with great care. Tell her how you feel. Direct her to this post.
My Trusted MOGs
Nice!!
My Trusted MOGs
hey, i actually found your page when i was looking for a song by aqualung, and i ended up reading about ur crush problem. from a girl's perspective, you shud just let her noe how you feel. ask her out to a dance or to dinner :) ...and from the perspective of someone who is also going through a bad crush: i noe how bad it feels to have a crush and not noe how the other person feels....and believe me, it will take a long time to just get over it. and when ur in college, do u really want to sit there and wonder how it might have been different if you had just let her noe? i say take a chance...the worst thing that can happen if she doesn't feel the same way that you do is that she won't talk to you much, but since she's already not having decent conversations with you, what do you have to lose? i hope this helps u...Good luck!