The Mother of the DeBarge Family - TELLS ALL through her book
-
Artist:
The Other Side of Pain by DeBarge
http://www.mamadebarge.com/othersideofthepain.htm
Wow..
Honestly, I had no idea what to expect out of the book by the mother of the famous, DeBarge family.
If you do not remember their music, take a listen here:
El DeBarge performing All This Love (LIVE) AHHHHHHHHHH
Rhythm of the Night - DeBarge
Who's Johnny - El DeBarge
Who's Holding Donna (LIVE) - DeBarge
Love Me in a Special Way - El DeBarge
------
As a kid growing up in the 1980s, I adored the music of the Debarge family for it made me happy and full of optimism but I honestly did not know there was a dark side until the 1990s when Chico Debarge was arrested and in jail for drug trafficking.
What struck me more than anything about the book was that as the mother of the famous Debarge family that she does not go into the racial hardships she faced of raising a huge clan of biracial children during the 1950s through the 1970s. That is my only criticism because I honestly would like to know what she went through with people asking her questions about her children at a time of so much racial tension. The father of the DeBarge children is a white man. She married him too when she was young in Michigan. Her husband's mother did not like her either and let her know that. Can you believe that?] Further, I grew up believing the DeBarge family was half Hispanic which is not true. Mrs. Debarge married a Hispanic man in her second marriage but he is NOT the father of her children.
Otherwise I enjoyed reading Mama DeBarge's take on life, the joy of raising her children, her interactions with Janet Jackson (Janet married James DeBarge but the marriage was annuled) and how drugs destroyed her musical family. Further, she goes into the problems her children faced and still do in the record industry. She is not a fan of Berry Gordy for she feels he was instrumental in the destruction of her children. Well, Rick James and many others did not care for Barry Gordy. Evidence from Rick James' book, Memoirs of a Super Freak (on Barry Gordy), "He made me a deal: if I did another album for him; he'd give back all my video rights and publishing - a deal he never kept" (pg. 203 of Memoirs of a Super Freak)
I had NO IDEA that Jermaine Jackson was vocal in Berry Gordy signing the family to Motown. That was interesting to know that fact.
The main theme though throughout this entire book is Mama Debarge's faith and how it helped her through so many hard times. Physically and mentally she had to deal with an abusive husband who was the father of the famous clan. Further, seeing her kids have fame and to see it all be destroyed by drugs has broken her heart but it is her faith that has allowed her to have hope.
Like a few young ladies in the 1980s, I was in LOVE with El Debarge as a kid. I thought his voice (and still do) was the perfection of an angel. When I STILL listen to his voice I get chills down my spine. All of her children are graced with beautiful voices but since the group highlighted El's voice I was in love. But, if you listen to all of her children, you will be amazed at how equally talented they all are for you will want more more music from them!
I do pray that the members of the family addicted to drugs will clean up their acts but with drug dependency but I know it is hard to break away from a habit that nurtures a void they may be individually experiencing. (Issues in my own family on this so I can relate) Rehab may or may not help? Maybe a good friend or a community that will embrace them all knowing that there is hope on the other side. Mama DeBarge said all except for 3 of her children are drug addicts. Not to sure on the actual amount of children she had but I believe it was 10. She had a set of twins too
Related Articles
http://www.mamadebarge.com/
http://www.soulwalking.co.uk/DeBarge.html
The Rise and Fall of the DeBarge Family (Episode 1)
http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/08/debarge_ep_1/
The Rise and Fall of the Debarge Family (Episode 2)
http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/09/debarge_epi_2/
The Rise and Fall of the DeBarge Family (Episode 3)
http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/09/debarge_epi_3/
The Rise and Fall of the DeBarge Family (Episode 4)
http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/09/debarge_episode_4/
Blogtalkradio -- Bunny DeBarge and Debarge talk radio show http://www.blogtalkradio.com/entrepreneursonthemove/2008/03/09/eotm-welcome-bunny-debarge
Locating MOG account...
Comments (13)
Wow, I'm just awestruck with the way you're telling the story the DeBarge family. -- If I may venture some explanation as to why Mrs DeBarge didn't talk about the bi-racial issues, I'd say it wasn't her primary concern. I don't think a mother sees her children in terms of colour or race. There's an excellent book called "The Color of Water" by James McBride in which his mother when asked about the colour of God says: "God is the colour of water" meaning that her love for her children is also beyond "racial definitions")
@bartleby - true it definitely was not her concern which I appreciate but here I have to play devil's advocate because in the black community for YEARS some have wondered whether or not the DeBarge children were Hispanic or part Hispanic. It was a rumor that ran rampant.
Unfortunately, we are a community that is color struck. I did not even know of this *color issue* of the DeBrage family until someone else shared with me when I was a child of this color issue. Mrs. DeBarge does mention that during the time she married her huband that interracial marriage was frowned upon. This is the 1950s. In the US, interracial marriage was considered illegal until the historic Loving Case in 1967 where black woman and a white were married in the state of Virginia. This case overturned the laws in the US about interracial marriage which forbid it.
I am just curious to know about how hard it was to raise biracial children then at a time of blatant racism. The reason why I am curious for such as the story of The Color of Water by James McBride, other authors such as James Weldon Johnson, The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man, Nella Larsen's Passing and Black Like Me by John Howard attempted to chronoical life of black America either being a fair colored black man, biracial and even a white man posing to be black all before the passage of the civil rights bill of 1965. I am looking at Mrs. DeBarge's story historically here.
Bunny DeBarge's book, The Kept Ones, attempts to chronical her life as a mixed race child which I am interested in reading.
True some parents who raise their biracial children do not even deal with the color issue but the unfortunate situation is that society makes your child choose one race or the other. I know this is how my grandfather was asked by the world to choose either white or black (he was mixed) but I am sure his mother raised him unconditionally with love. However, I know my grandfather knew that the black blood he had made him identify as black although he was visibly white and he had a British accent.
Reading the books like James McBride and even a recent book I read called, Mixed by Angela Nissel fueled that question. I just want to know was it difficult?
I read many articles like this:
http://multiracial.com/site/content/view/344/27/ on a weekly basis and I just want to know!
Thank you for all the links and reading recommendations. I'll give them a browse later on.
@bartleby - I know I gave you a lot to digest but this question is fueled by so much that I experience through my life daily and what I read. A few of my friends are going down this path of raising mixed children and it is interesting how they discuss their children (color and culturally wise). I wish they had support to deal with some of the frustrations they are going through
I read a book years ago called The Blacker The Berry The Sweeter the Juice by Wallace Thurman where the main protagonist wanted to be white so bad that they tried to bleach their skin with lemon juice!
http://www.amazon.com/Blacker-Berry-Wallace-Thurman/dp/068481580X
Also, this article in The Washington Post fueled my question even more.
Karyn Langhorne Folan - What Mildred Knew
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/11/AR2008061103171.html
Mama Debarge actually read this same review that you read and appreciated it but Mama DeBarge knows I am going to read Bunny's book too because it will open that other dimension that she did not share. I need to get Bunny's book!
Thanks for reading and sharing with me. It means a lot!
That's one of the things I like about MOG. We're not restricted to music and music exclusively. I understand why this issue of multicultaralism has gained even more eminence with the coming presidential election. -- In all earnest, all I can ever say about it will be purely theoretical. So I'd rather sit and enjoy the highly educational reads you've put up here.
@bartleby - ditto! I enjoy sharing here at Mog because you all teach me so much! Thank you for reading and considering some of those books. Some of those books I read when I took a course in African American Literature in college.
I made the first comment on your post last night & I guess Mog ate it, grrrrrr! Basically I commented on how pushing your children into the spotlight obviously has a negative effect. Mama DeBarge & her kids are now paying the price for not allowing them to make up their own minds. You see this happen w/celebrities often. Look at Brittany(I mean metaphorically, you don't really want to check her out, ugh), Lindsay Lohan, & on & on. I'm sure Mama DeBarge meant well in just wanting a better life for her kids. But you can't force children w/o consequences.
(Let's hope this comment sticks, damnit!)
@augusts1 - waah! I did not see your comment last night =(. What is up with Mog.com? Drama!
You are so right! I do not understand the mother's who push the kids but interestlnngly Mama DeBarge never really encouraged her kids to go into singing as a career. She knew they had the talent but it was not something that she forced them to do but she did teach them how to sing and it was mandatory in her house that they go to church. She said the children were drawn to the glamour of Hollywood but they honestly did not have all that money when they first got out there and were signed to Motown.
But then there may be a side she is not discussing in her book that Bunny may address in hers which I am anxious to read!
Thank you for sharing!
Seems like there is always Mog tech problems & drama. Oh well, that's just part of the 'charm' of Mog, haha!
I think you're right, I think Mama DeBarge is presenting her best side in her book. How many of her kids went into show biz? 3, 4 or more? I'm sure she had far more influence in their decisions than she is letting on. I'm willing to bet Bunny has a whole other side to the family history, especially since she is younger. I'm sure Mama has forgotten many of the details because of her age . . . .
Mog has been bugging! I tried responding to your post the other day about Prince and Tom Jones. I wanted to thank you tremendously for that link. It actually is not bad at all but as Prince fanatic who owns EVERYTHING - yes, all 40 albums, I have I am a little biased with his classic songs. Otherwise I give Tom Jones mega kudos for the effort and I could not hear the rendition of Raspberry Beret you shared! I went to imeem and heard it. I enjoyed it! You have great taste! 8)
Otherwise with this DeBarge situation, I think about 6 of the children went into show biz but don't quote me on that. She had 10 children altogehter! I am with you on Bunny's version. It will be interesting to read!
Prince has 40 albums? Sheesh, my 10 feels so inadequate now, hehe. Glad you enjoyed the 'Raspberry Beret' cover. Sorry those links didn't work for you. Mog has been buggin' ALOT!
@augusts1 - dangit, Mog.com ate my response to you. Here is a list of Prince's albums and YES, I OWN ALL OF THEM!
HE OWES ME A FREAKING CONCERT and lifetime tickets to see him anytime I dare choose since I saved all my little pennies to see him in London. He better get his BUTT to New York City or I will find his royal purpleness and TICKLE HIM!
List to all his albums (studio albums)
http://www.housequake.com/view.php?s=&pg=discography
[[[hugz]]]
You are a Prince Freaq, lol! Thanks for the link. I actually saw him for the first time at Coachella, which you can read about "*HERE*":http://mog.com/Augusts1/blog_post/159179#comments. It was my virgin Prince experience & he was incredible!