insomnia

Posted over 5 years ago

Artist:
- PLAY
The Microphones

i feel like im losing touch with reality, and i also feel like a lot of it has to do with the music im listening to. its not the way it sounds though. its not a bad thing at all. i mean i know how i want to live, ive planned shit out and it doesnt involve any crime or debauchery or anything else. but my mom has her own plans for me and all i have to say about that is im not going to be a priest...ever. i think since she had 5 kids she thought that one of them would grow up to be a nun or a priest. didnt happen. were all good kids, though...spiritual, religious, whatever you may call it. anyways, id like to persue a career in music but i cant do it while im at home, parents just wont allow it. therefore i tried to persue it at college but then again i was going to a catholic college and the guy said that it was strictly a gospel/christian station. no thanks. i tried going there just to learn how to use the instruments but that only lasted about a week. theres only so much contemporary christian music i can listen to...plus being forced to listen to rap in my off time didnt help either. i know this seems like another teen angst rant about over-controlling-catholic-nazi parents, but then again i guess it is...long story short, there arent any good record shops around gainesville, ga and the ones we do have arent hiring, no cool radio stations, no good anything for music...its a dead end street for me. therefore i feel like im idling in life right now. i dont have shit going for me, im working a bullshit job at a grocery store with imbeciles, but i know exactly what i want to do and how i can do it. i just cant. i guess i fail at life. or i just have to wait until my parents grow too old or pass away. or i could run off to some distant place like some fairy tale and live happily ever after, but then again this is real life. its sort of hard to run away from reality. its also pretty hard to accept it. fuck.

Comments (9)

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david hyman says geez. cheer up pal. you probably get a discount on those groceries and that christian music probably got some soul - sometimes. ; ) ya do what ya gotta do bud. if you're in college, maybe you need to switch colleges.

Permalink posted 09/21/2006
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chucky says Have you checked out fairportfan (another mogger) - he's like a yoda of music and I believe he's close to you geographically. He may turn you onto something there to get you through. And, yes, it does sound like teen angst but what the hell. I'm 31 and I have some teen ansgty moments. Hey, maybe you should check out The Wolfgang Press - apparently they are morose and impenetrable in a self-parodying but non-ironic way......;)

Permalink posted 09/21/2006
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ScheisseMinelli says haha i read about the wolfgang press, not my cup of tea. i have moments of horrible anxiety before i go to bed hence the somber/depressed mood. its fucking horrible. and no im not at college anymore, the college i was at fucked me over by losing a lot of my paper work and then telling me after it was too late to transfer anywhere. then on top of that i had to pay them $4000 which was supposed to be paid by them...self-explanatory. so now im back living at home and working a shitty job and cant really do anything about it. to get the point across, i finally had freedom for a year and didnt have my parents constantly dictationg my life, and i was doing fine, and then i just got fucked over by the thing that was providing me freedom. it doesnt entitle me to be pissed off or angry about it but it might help you to understand my positionits sort of like the saying "dont bite the hand that feeds you", but instead the hand eats your food after it gives it to you, sort of like a big "fuck you" to you.

Permalink posted 09/21/2006
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ScheisseMinelli says oh yeah...and no i dont get a discount at the grocery store. publix is one of the only retail companies i know that doesnt give their employes a discount...go figure..

Permalink posted 09/21/2006
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david hyman says dude. i got your answer. http://mog.com/digworm/blog_post/13776

Permalink posted 09/21/2006
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Anna says :( Deidication: Moby- Lift Me Up :)

Permalink posted 09/22/2006
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ivylander says Man, you gotta get yourself back in school in another town. Make it happen.

Permalink posted 09/22/2006
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El Monko and Son says Carnivorous hands are the fucking worst. Being stuck sucks, we've all been there. All I can say is that life is long and nothing is wasted if you decide to figure out the point in where you're at. Sometimes it takes a damn long time, and sometimes you won't see it until you are elsewhere. Just know that you will get elsewhere. Also, understand your priorities, and know that you are acting according to them. You can't change your circumstances without evaluating them; and then you may not wish to, you'll just understand them better, which can also help. None of this blather may make a turd into a pearl, but at least you might figure out how to use it as fertilizer.

Permalink posted 09/24/2006
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ScheisseMinelli says damn, el monko thats some of the best adive ive ever received, gracias.

Permalink posted 10/01/2006