MOG

Micki here.

Chris "Crash" Pryor was so many things to a lot of people... sage, guru, brother I've heard him called... he was our Connector, indeed, Michelle.

To me, he was so many things, too. He was my teacher and my student, and my brother, and my best friend; he was my lover, my soulmate, and amazingly, my fiancé... sometimes I felt as though he was my mother and father, and he was that one man who made me want to be a mother.

Words about his loss are coming from my mouth and hands, coming to my mind, and still, Chris, my words cannot describe the void you left in my life, in our family's and friends' life, in the world... The only words that can give a glimpse of the man you were are your own... reading them now through my tears it often seems like you'd thought it all through before... and you haven't forgotten to write it all down...

I've googled you quite a few times when you were alive... It's a whole different thing to do now that you left this place, and it's the strangest and saddest thing to find something I never found before. Today, buried around the 10th google page, I found an old blog of yours; it seems you moved from there to the Chronicles of Ridicule in order to escape the bots'n stuff. I never knew your blog used to be called The Chronicles of Redirection. There is only one post left there, and reading it brought tears and smiles to my face.

It's called I Gotta Go...Yeah, I'm Runnin' Out of Ch-Ch-Ch Changes, and it'll help me get through this day. Just like the music you loved, you are my "gift that keeps on giving". Thank you for letting me get to know you... I'm so happy to think that I'll be your mama bear in heaven again.

Here's your post - from December 04, 2005.

In an effort to put the kibosh on the Spamsters I've changed locations and moved all this content elsewhere...still sittin' in the theater of the ridiculous, yo...I just moved to a new seat...hit me up here via email and I'll sort you out...

..."One man's cookie is another man's cake," I'm often prone to say when I encounter perspectives/ philosophies that don't comply with mine...it's a great catch-all that simultaneously yields to give another the right-of-way and remains true to whatever it was I was thinking or saying that contravened said cookie lover's view/ idea...if you've read any of the other stuff I've posted in the past, then you already know my predeliction for using lyrics to get my ideas across, if not, this is one of those moments... I think Bowie put it best....Laters.

_I still don't know what I was waiting for And my time was running wild A million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet So I turned myself to face me But I've never caught a glimpse Of how the others must see the faker I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Don't want to be a richer man Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size But never leave the stream Of warm impermanence and So the days float through my eyes But still the days seem the same And these children that you spit on As they try to change their worlds Are immune to your consultations They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Don't tell them to grow up and out of it Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Where's your shame You've left us up to our necks in it Time may change me But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) Ch-ch-Changes Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older Time may change me But I can't trace time I said that time may change me But I can't trace time_