It seems ever more difficult to pass freely from one country to another. Gone are the days of flashing your passport and pre paid work permits, and gliding through without any questions or hassles. When we flew to Calgary we were held in customs for a few hours too many for our liking and then got told our status was zero and that if we did not attend a hearing the following day that a notice would be placed out for our arrest. Well I think it is pretty much fair to say that this time when crossing the boarder we certainly had a status, the status of drug smuggling criminals. Not really to the great heights of a fellow Welshman Howard Marx, yet enough of a criminal status that at 10.30 on this particular day, I was standing in front of two armed male officers as naked as the very moment I first entered this world.
Lets start from the beginning. The night before we had played Detroit, and made the conscience decision to wake at the crack of dawn as we had a long drive ahead and had to make it across the boarder up to Toronto by early afternoon as radio was awaiting. As we approached the boarder in our semi comatose state having only shut our eyes for a few hours we exited the van and stood in the designated area while as usual the van went through a vigorous search. As we stood in the baking sun, counting down the minutes of the routine to be over, thus enabling us to throw ourselves back in the van and slip quietly into slumber land, one of the searching officers strolls over and politely asks us all one by one, who is the owner of the illegal grass she has just found in the front of the van. Of course, we replied in the same manner as we were asked, that it had nothing to do with us. Especially as we had hired the van only a few days previous and it must have been there before we picked the vehicle up from the rental company, ( well that's our story and we are sticking to it ). Now I must admit, I can not believe that she did not fall for that old chestnut, suppose I was hoping that she had come down in the last rain fall. At least we did not try and hide it in one of those fake coke cans, were the lid screws off and you place your stash inside. Only true idiots would think that the boarder control would not have seen one of those smuggling devices before.
All of a sudden the polite tone of voice that asked the initial question turned into one of authority and darkness. She continued to inform us that we were all going to be detained and that we had a right to make one phone call to a lawyer. I literally felt like I had just stepped onto a movie set and I was not really relishing the experience. As more of her fellow officers descended upon us and we were frog marched into the adjacent building, Jimmy decided it was time to take one for the team and piped up to proclaim that the relaxing smoke belonged to him. Game on, good man I thought to myself. He is going to get a small slap on the wrist, a petty fine which we as a band will pay for and we'll be on our way to rock Toronto as we would be. So you can imagine the look on my face when the following words drifted into the following conversation- " Right then gentlemen, as we have just found illegal substances in your vehicle, it is procedure to continue with a strip search.'
I think it is fair to say that when I awoke in the early hours of the morning to start our travels I had not really envisaged myself getting naked with two men that I had only met minutes before. Its funny how things work out. Yet I suppose that there is no quicker way to break down those awkward first moments when you meet someone, than to get naked. But it is even weirder when you are not all on the same playing field. It was not as if all in the room were getting naked. Thinking about it now mind you, I probably would have found it far more disturbing if I was placed in a room with two other guys getting naked. I feel that I am no longer a naturist at heart. I am sure that nudist beaches hold a completely separate experience as there are species from the opposite sex parading around to distract your mind. All the same, let the revolution begin with nakedness.
Well with all the early dealings of the day we managed to miss our air time on the radio, but however did score a result with the night time gig at a venue we had never visited before. The cool 'Tattoo Rock Parlour '. Good vibes and a willing crowd made the trip, oh so worth while.

John