Inner strength.

L: What's up with you? Are you dating anyone?Me: What's the answer I always give you?L: Come on.Me: You come on. I don't call you once a week because I hotly anticipate this kind of Sex and the City cliched bullshit. L: But you deserve to be happy.Me: Who's to say I'm not right now? L: But y-.Me: I can roll over and masturbate at 4:00 in the morning and not worry about hurting anyone's feelings.L: Oh my God.Me: Well? It's the truth.L: You're fucking crazy.Me: I'm crazy? You're the one rehashing Darren Star over the phone "for my own good."L: I just want you to be happy, that's all. That's all.Me: I am. Thanks. L: I met a really cute waiter I want to set you up with. He's kind of a prick, but he's hot.Me: Why do you want to set me up with a prick?L: Oh my God. Me: See, this is the problem.L: Liste-.Me: "Oh yeah. I totally want to set you up with this guy. He's an arsonist child-beater, but he's so handsome."L: Fuck you. Me: No. Go fuck your boyfriend. Go tell someone else about his 8" cock, and go set up one of your other more vulnerable friends with an Atlanta sushi waiter version of the Unabomber.L: Goodnight.Me: (Laughs.) Goodnight.