Late Nights and Windows

I grew up looking out of the window.Literally and metaphorically.There are two songs which capture my teenage sleepless nights spent watching life go past. One is 'Orange Crush' by REM and the other is De La Soul's 'Me, Myself and I'.Its nothing about the lyrics or the music itself but more the memories associated with them.They conjure up images of my staying up until the early hours writing or sketching and in between those chilling out, listening to Radio 1 and the local commercial stations such as Red Dragon or Galaxy 101.The backdrop of those quiet hours sat on my window sill was stillness brought to life by music.The darkest hours of the night were punctuated by the occasional illumination of street lamps and intermittently populated by a car or mysterious individual.Looking out over the tops of the houses I wondered at the life beyond, of the possibilities of the world as well chewing on whatever angst troubled my young soul back then.Probably girl-related.There were other songs that came along and enhanced that late night feel. Most notably 'Riders on the Storm' by The Doors. That was awesome as it enveloped the night with its atmospheric rumbling and tainted the following hour with its eerie foreboding.The two songs mentioned above also represent the conflicting paths of my musical taste.I guess with most teenagers your greatest desire is just to belong. Unfortunately I found myself fighting against that feeling and ended up carving out my own little niche. Usually your musical tastes give you a natural alignment with your peers but as most of the guys were into Guns and Roses et al I was apart from that as I couldn't relate to all that posturing.As indie music and hip hop gained more mainstream attention it gradually filtered through to my little part of Wales and I found myself with something in common with some unexpected individuals who I would otherwise have had nothing to do with were it not for our shared tastes in music.Unfortunately, I still lament the ascent of Gangsta Rap. Although I can still appreciate its roots from the awesome NWA I think it totally exaggerates and glorifies some of the worst excesses of humanity.I wish De La Soul had been the future.I guess Hip Hop now has the same effect on me that Rock and Roll had on people in the 50's which I feel slightly embarrassed about but the fifties were slightly repressed in expressing themselves. For something to shock or repulse these days it has to be pretty offensive in a way people probably couldn't even imagine fifty years ago, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.Those nights spent thinking about the world in front of my window feel like one of the few times in my life when I was able to assert my own mind on matters and work out why I felt, thought or believed those things. Now, with a family and other responsibilities I feel like I have to lean on those times even more as I don't get much opportunity to assess my current angst.One day I'm going to be grandad who puts on old hip hop records.What are my Grandkids going to be listening to?!!