Toxic Jovi
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Artist:
Hard-rock. Soft head. That's Bon Jovi, the New Jersey-bred quasi-hair-band led by overgrown puppy-dog/preening pretty-boy Jon Bon Jovi. Detritus of the 1980s, they're the embodiment of bland adult-contemporary-formatted "rock" for clueless suburbanoids: thumping drums, swaggering egomaniac Richie Sambora's excessive guitar solos, and Jon-boy's overwrought platitude-spewing vocals.
The amount of sludge they've produced, replete with bogus romance, is daunting, but a particularly toxic example would be the wearying whine and wail of "You Give Love a Bad Name" - a #1 hit on Billboard's singles chart in 1986. The promo video for this supremely irritating song shows the group, in the throes of their spandex-clad, feather-haired heyday, ostensibly performing it before an arena of delirious fans. It's Exhibit A in the case against Bon Jovi a.k.a. the Strutting, Ear-Torturing Shame of the Garden State. They give rock a bad name - and give me a headache.
Locating MOG account...
Comments (18)
Right you are Mike!
I did enjoy seeing JBJ's keyboard player, David Bryan, win the Tony Award for the music for "Memphis" on Broadway- which is a good show- with good music, too. I got to speak with him a couple of months ago and asked him if he writes any songs for the group. He said that Bon Jovi doesn't need him to write songs (a tactful way of saying "no")- which explainss why he worked so hard on the music for "Memphis." He did a really nice job, too.
Sadly, many friends of my wife and mine (otherwise wonderfully nice, normal and intelligent middle-aged ladies) have fallen under Bon Jovi's spell.
Must be the hair.
sorry about your headache, Mike. BJ, as you'd probably call them, have helped several of my friends be able to afford a lot of aspirin with good paychecks and nice treatment. i can't join in on the chorus of this tune for personal reasons, but you'd probably just say that i give love a bad name and chalk it up as more Toxicity anyway.
Fasted: Time for a buzz cut.
Robin: In situations like yours, I try to remember the old saying: Don't hate the playa. Hate the game.
you said it better than i would have. i was wondering if you'd suggest having a Toxic Fans Tuesday, regarding the people who support many situations. i saw a lot of them Twittering during the Bonnaroo feed this weekend.
Robin: A twit is a twit - no shit!
Mike, The oxymoronic nature of the title here left me adequately forewarned, and so once again I delight in your rapier wit & forego the music.
dmdm: Oh, you flatterer!
I always like it when you use "detritus" in a post
so apt considering the subject matter :-)
And I have to do it so often on Tuesdays, rum. I guess I aim to please.
Yet another killer Toxic Tuesday. Poison/Bon Jovi oh how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways:
Firstly: You confused me at a very confusing and chemical time in my life. The first time I walked into my girl cousins room and saw your life size poster on the wall with your makeup and hair and slutty clothes and the way you were looking at me, I thought you were one of the models from the Hustler mag I found in my Grandpa's outhouse. Then my cuz sez "Isn't he hot?" Wait, wha? HE!? Oh God, the bulge!! I was eleven you asshole.
Secondly: You confused me yet again when I found 'Look What the Cat Dragged In' in my sister's record bin. I thought "Wow! These chicks look like the girls I saw in that videotape tape I found in my Mom's Betamax machine! What is this... Poison! Dammit" Yet another boner, for dudes. I was twelve you asshole.
Thirdly: I actually listened to the words as I sang every rose has its thorn or whatever. Did Kenny Rogers write this? Gah! Crap! And wtf does a makeup wearing ladyboy know about cowboys and outlaws? They should have accidentally loaded that twelve gauge with real buckshot in Young Guns II you contrived douchebag.
I could go on: about how all the girls and guys loved the party "metal" music in high school, which to me was dumbasses in drag looking like hookers and living cliches, but I won't.
I must thank Poison for one thing, they and their LA hair peers drove me to the other side f music, away from the 'Industry' side. I thank you for that.
PS: Mike, I am not trying to take over your posts, you simply happen to choose artists I feel strongly about and have little anecdotes to share, thank you. And can you tell me what is under Brett's bandana?
hey Kid P. at least you complimented Mike before dominating the page.
Sorry. I get a little worked up. Decades of suppression.
ROTFLMAO.ok no I'm not...but that did get a true laugh out loud! I never got that whole dudes looking like chicks either... "score one for the kid"
some day the hat will come off in that avatar, the hair will show and Paris will sizzle on his Rock Band Poison solo.
Burn. And I play bass, on Rock Band 2, so there.
Mr Paris: We're on the same wavelength. Personally, I never gave a rat's ass about the dim-witted '80s hair-metal bands or their frou-frou hard-rock brethren - as opposed to the smart, creative and amusing glam-rock innovators of the '70s that they think they're emulating. And you are most welcome to go on as long as you like on any of my comment threads. The more, the merrier.
TheMrsT: Laughter is the best medicine, especially at the expense of smug, obnoxious morons. As ever, thanks for dropping by!
hate him, never liked the songs, end of story. Even in his prime I never was a follower, and it actually made a girlfriend of mine dump me...........I say I came out on top
Rawk: You, sir, are a winner - and a man of impeccable taste!