Toxic 'Toon
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Artist:
Probably inspired by the well-received Saturday morning cartoon series built around The Beatles and their music, the rise of the Monkees (a band assembled for a '60s sit-com inspired by the Beatles' jaunty feature films "A Hard Day's Night" and "Help!" with a concurrent recording career), and the remarkable success of the vapid, late '60s/early '70s pop claptrap known as bubble-gum music, an expedient alliance was formed - and toxicity resulted. I'm going on about The Archies.
"The Archies" was a cartoon and a studio-spawned recording project inspired by Archie Comics - the long-running funny-book line devoted to the antics of wholesome, freckle-faced, perpetual teen Archie Andrews and his pals and gals at fictional Riverdale High, including his off-again/on-again girlfriends Betty and Veronica, his sleazy rival Reggie, and his goofy best friend Jughead. The Archie Comics company, eager to be relevant in the turbulent 1960s, decided to jump on the rock bandwagon, so they powwowed with a low-budget, made-for-TV animation house and Don Kirshner, a noted promoter of Tin Pan Alley twaddle and any other music he could exploit. (Kirshner's '70s "Rock Concert" television series brought the mainstream and alt-rock of its day to the masses, and he just so happened to oversee the Monkees' recording career until they rebelled against his craven commercial sensibilities.)
The result was a cheapo 'toon about the Riverdale kids starting their own band. It featured horrible, hack-conjured, studio-forged bubble-gum - with an artificial sweetness that could make your teeth ache - folded into animated, clumsily gag-ridden music videos that broke up the haphazard comedy narrative. The songs were released as singles and collected on albums, and actually sold pretty well. The first of the singles, "Sugar, Sugar," was the biggest hit of them all, going to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1969 and staying there for four weeks. Written by crass veteran tunesmiths Jeff Barry and Andy Kim, it's actually a mega-catchy, sing-along hook-fest that, I will admit, is as good as bubble-gum gets. But the rest was pure, unadulterated awfulness.
Below, you'll find my most despised Archies tracks: "Jingle Jangle," complete with an inane, kiddie-skewed cartoon clip from the TV series, and "Bang Shang-A-Lang," straight from an old 45 rpm record. You could argue that the whole Archies thing was for small children, and I guess the cartoon is Exhibit A. That doesn't excuse the audio pap that was passed off as rock music and all-too-often made it onto Top 40 radio 30 years ago. No wonder Archie and his gang have never been able to graduate from high school. They sound like morons.
The Archies - "Jingle Jangle"
The Archies - "Bang-Shang-A-Lang"
Locating MOG account...
Comments (14)
Agreed..but now your after the kids,'toon ones even (in snagglepuss voice)..sooo mean.
Believe it or not, C.B., I actually have a soft spot for Archie, his chums, Josie. the Pussycats, etc. - in comic book form. But, other than the insidious "Sugar, Sugar," the cartoon and the related music struck me as embarrassing. Surely, the kids (the real ones) deserved better. Euthanasia for Hot Dog!!!
vomit inducing
Yep.
Andy Kim- that explains it.
In a recent "Archie Digest", Josie and the Pussycats played a double bill with the Archies; i haven't seen the issue, but the cover featured Archie smooching with what's-her-name - the black girl. (Valerie, i see).
Even more recently, they're introducing an openly gay character. (And Veronica has the hots for him.)
Coincidentally, the ComicMix new site (whence the previous two links) have just published a "Munden's Bar" story (titled "A Hundred Years of Puberty") about "Andy Archkins", a teen-aged archetype.
Mike, You've done it again. I am at work laughing like a madman.
inrumford: Sorry. Forgot the warning label. Side effects will probably include nausea.
Fasted: Let's not let Jeff Barry off the hook, either.
fairportfan: The times, they always be a-changin' - and sooner or later, Archie does his best to catch up. I happen to be a Grimjack fan, and, certainly, I loved the "Munden's Bar" story which I had not previously seen. Thanks for that.
dmdm: Sorry. Forgot the warning label. Side effects may include milk shooting out your nose.
loved the comic as a kid, even have some in my collection. I can do with out this though, I think I got a cavity just listening to this
Rawk: I wonder if a concentrated dose of fluoride would protect you from the effects of "Sugar, Sugar."
The "Munden's Bar" just came out last week; do you follow COmicMix? (Where it has its current home - there is also some free "Grimjack" in their archives, though i think that's been published as a trade by now...)
Poo.
Forgot to include the CM link - ComicMix
Thanks, fpf. Cynosure lives!
We live to serve.
Wow. That's what Gordon says at Munden's...