Taking a Toxic Trip to Kokomo
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The year is new, and my little holiday break is over. And what better (worser?) way to set the bar low for 2010 than to make my first Toxic Tuesday post of the year a tropical travesty? It's mega-cold in most of the northern regions of our mighty nation. So let's fly to sunnier climes with those musical avatars of seaside hedonism the Beach Boys. Only the soundtrack to our trip is the stupefying pop hackwork of "Kokomo."
The last chart-topping hit by the Beach Boys in the U.S. (albeit for only one week), "Kokomo" - released as a single in 1988 and featured on the soundtrack of the lame Tom Cruise movie "Cocktail" - was the nadir of the group's career at a time when the rest of the band members were completely estranged from their brilliant, creative, emotionally damaged driving wheel, singer/musician/songwriter/arranger Brian Wilson. In what was perhaps a case of too many lazy cooks peeing in the broth, the song was written by now-disgraced leader of The Mamas and the Papas/alleged child molester John Phillips, his hippie troubadour crony Scott McKenzie, Beach Boys singer/diehard Mike Love and Byrds producer Terry Melcher.
Despite the talent involved, the lyrics feature such embarrassingly feeble rhymes as "Aruba, Jamaica / Ooo I wanna take you / Bermuda, Bahama / Come on pretty mama," not too mention the faux Caribbean melody and sub-lounge instrumental performance. And yet, sweetened by those trademark Beach Boys harmony vocals and brain-gooshing sentiments, it was a #1 single that continues to have a place of honor on oldies-radio playlists.
Then, there's the official "Kokomo" video. Tanned babes in bikinis, revelers guzzling spiked fruit punch, palm trees, the happy sound of steel drums, those Beach Boys harmonies...what could be wrong? How about the flat-out weakness of the song itself? In the promo vid, we also suffer the double-whammy of interspersed clips from "Cocktail," heavy on Cruise at his most unpleasantly hyper-enthusiastic. In retrospect, the film is one of Tommy boy's all-time crappiest efforts and, certainly, the track is at the bottom of the Beach Boys' barrel.
Surf's down!
Locating MOG account...
Comments (18)
I've heard it so there's no need to play it. Mostly it reminds me of funnel cake and fat white people wearing too little or tight cloths. See this song is the sound track to every fair, town celebration, and parade in rural america! Makes me wanna get a crappy studio apartment in downtown Seattle and never set foot out in the country again. Good thing fair shock wears off pretty quickly.
Well, it's about time u slacka! (or not)
Here is my favorite rendition
Good call, Mike!
So glad you are willing to take on the Beach Boys who so many people simply revere. While I certainly admire Good Vibrations and several others, I always felt they had almost as many misfires as hits- and this certainly fits in the former.
As for the video with Tom Cat and that awful film- he was at his unctuous worst in it.
Perfect pairing for the song (as were some of the bikini babes)!
Interesting choice since I offered up not only this track, but 3 others from this abysmal period in Beach Boys history!
But yes, still toxic after all these years.
These toxic Tuesday posts are strengthening our ability to endure extreme punishment. Before this tradition recently started, for too long we had been serving each other only the good stuff, and it made us unbalanced and spoiled. Now with the yang, we can appreciate the yin more truly.
danse: Maybe funnel cakes would help me tolerate this. Hmmm. Nah.
inrumford: What's the farmer from "Babe" say? Oh right. That'll do, Piggy. (Sadly, this one has been covered and covered when it should have been covered - by shovels of dirt.
Fasted: As it happens, I am a major fan of Brian Wilson's Beach Boys and their many albums of goodness. But this is straight outta Suck City U.S.A.
contra: Blame the similarity on my three sessions of anesthesia in a year's time. Here's how many brain cells were lost: I even commented early in your thread but forgot your post. Then again, there's no such thing as too much disdain when the object of derision is so fetid.
Spike: Agreed. Toxic Tuesday - it's the right thing to do!
Toxic for sure... I never liked this song. Reminds me of Muzak on drugs...
Kori: You must remember to never give drugs to your Muzak.
Not my fave Beach Boy track by ANY stretch of the imagination, but for the few seconds where Carl solos vocally, the song lifts off the ground. Then resumes its subterranean existence.
dermahrk: You're too kind. Really. Much much too kind.
Well.. it ain't MY fault Muzak took 'em! lol
I guess the first one was free - in an elevator.
yup, this song blows on so many levels
Yeah, Rawk. Like an evil wind through the gulf...
Next time you see Mike Love, please tell him to shave his bald pate and retire. Please. Maybe Brian Wilson too (no shaving needed, just proper meds).
Andrew: I see that the milk of human kindness has soured in your fridge. ;-) I'd say you're half-right. I have no need of Mike Love anymore, but I will never denigrate the brill Mr. Wilson.
You do realize that part of the lyrics make this song the absolutely WRONG choice to be playing right now.
"Port-au-Prince. I want to catch a glimpse."
I found your blog when I did a search to see if the Beach Boys were still going to feature that song when they perform in concert.
I was surprised that there was no mention of this.
Unhappy coincidence, even if it's only one line/mention in the song. Our prayers are with the beleagured people of Haiti.