As many have said before me, Los Angeles is so much more about angles than angels. But what strange and terrible force has pulled me out the benign comfort of San Francisco and dragged me down to Southern California and, specifically, L.A. yet again? My callous mistress, Show Business.I motor hither and yon, working and playing – sometimes simultaneously. I take meetings that masquerade as dinners, and go to parties and bars that generate more professional contacts than love connections.A glimpse:There’s producer/composer/arranger extraordinaire Quincy Jones - the decades of musical accomplishments etched onto his knowing, slightly weary face - sitting with a party of three at a centrally-located table in the dining room of STK, an upscale steakhouse and the latest restaurant hotspot in Hollywood. The place is filled and percolating on Friday night. It’s the official opening after a few celebrity-splashed shakedown dinners earlier in the week, when the likes of comedian Adam Sandler and “Heroes” ingénue Hayden Panettiere sampled the place, approved, and were captured on film (coming and going) by the omnipresent paparazzi - pictures posted on gossip websites within minutes. Now, a couple of the acting Arquettes are in the house. (Was that Patricia or Rosanna - or their transsexual sister Alexis? Not sure.) And a few stars of hour-long TV dramas; and, of course, Mr. Jones. The piranhas with cameras lurk in wait out on the sidewalk.Inside, scene-makers mingle with the famous and the well-connected/well-heeled wannabes, and the sound system feeds the room a diet of ‘80s pop and rock with the likes of Tom Petty, Depeche Mode and Berlin. The buoyancy of Michael Jackson’s "The Way You Make Me Feel" from the Jacko/Quincy Jones-produced 1987 album Bad brightens the room. A slight smile slips across Quincy’s face as he surveys his surroundings and perhaps notes that a few of the beautiful people in attendance are gently grooving to a beat he forged.24 hours earlier:As Valentine’s Day approaches midnight, I sit with two longtime pals – a comedian and an animation director – at Birds, a very lively, very crowded bar on Franklin. The joint is hosting an anti-Valentine bash and the DJ is spinning extremely pointed selections, including Nancy Sinatra’s ‘60s female-empowerment anthem “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’” and the Rolling Stones’ illustrious, insistent, embittered rock and roll plaint “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.” With every song, the patrons in Birds become increasingly enflamed and, contrary to the theme of the event, step up their mating dance.Meanwhile, a cute 6-foot-plus redhead in kooky thrift-shop garb sits by herself in a booth, sips a glass of rose wine, and impassively rebuffs any guy who tries to strike up a conversation with her. She carries a Frederick’s of Hollywood shopping bag instead of a purse. When asked about it, she explains that she has just finished performing improv comedy at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theater a few doors down, and the bag is a prop. She’s no older than 21 or 22, and is trying to get a career in comedy up and running. “I’m more of a stand-up and sketch performer than an improviser,” she says. “But you have to network, and you have to showcase for the people making the decisions in this town, and the UCB is good for that.”She takes a final sip of wine, stands up, and heads for the door. My comedian friend, who has enjoyed quite a successful, ongoing run in movies and on TV, is sitting nearby and sees her leave alone. She’s an eye-catching figure, to say the least. As she departs, disappointment clouds his features. He could have been her angel. Alas, a missed opportunity for both of them to work the angles. The DJ plays Kaiser Chiefs’ “Everyday I Love You Less and Less.” The lyrics fall on deaf ears attached to smiling customers determined to pick up someone before closing time.Aperitif:My preferred contemporary L.A. music-makers The Bird & The Bee perform a little nightlife magic in the delightfully skewed video showcasing their wry cabaret-rock number “Polite Dance Song” from the Please Clap Your Hands EP:
Mike the Knife says
Joxley: Back atcha, sir. It's amazing that I can maintain my equilibrium and remember anything that happens on any given night in this fame-and-status-obsessed "wonderland." (For the record, the quotes are sarcastic - not ironic.)
Cody: Oh, it's business all right. And sometimes, I fear that it's more exercise-wheel than maze.
Cody B says
I have spent a little time there and try as I might,I could never find a heart or pulse in that town..I know it's there, but one shouldn't have to look so hard.
Me and the Horse I Rode In On says
Mike.....................you're one cool cat!!!!!!!
You handle the knife professionally by not mentioning your friends name.
These are stories I don't see on an everyday basis.................which means NEVER!
On my thursday night in Hollywood I need to live through it all. Beware.............I will drive to Coachella the next day with folded movie contracts hidden in my back-pocket.
Mike the Knife says
Cody: There is a heart there - but, when you find it, it's a cold one. And the pulse can be awfully rapid for a place that's supposed to be so laid-back. Maybe there are two hearts, and I don't mean like the Ryan Adams song. One (chilly, mechanical) keeps the entertainment industry pumping - and one (vibrant, impassioned) provides the life blood to the artists who live for their creations. The latter, fueled by the magic and history of the place, is to be cherished.
Me and the Horse I Rode In On: Thanks, Henry. Just trying to stay afloat and navigate this sea of madness. As for my discretion, I didn't want to ruin these slices of surreality by dropping a dime on any buddies making the scene with me. And if you have a deal you want to make, this is the place to try and get it going - for better or for worse.
Misstee: Love that strip! Needless to say, we were at La Poubelle earlier. From what I could tell, the young woman was a fledgling, trying her wings. Didn't get her name. Who knows? We may see more of her in the near future...
Liza on air: The Bird and The Bee? Super! Seek out more of their videos. You will be delighted.
Me and the Horse I Rode In On says
Trust me Mike................the only deal I want to make is the one deciding whether you or I shall pay for the first round of beers.
Me and the Horse I Rode In On says
"If I'm around and in town, I shall get the first round!"..............................
That line would make a fine country song.
Me and the Horse I Rode In On says
Danish people doing country song will only lead to a long life in the gutter.
I'm actually pretty impressed about the comments. You respond to my comments before I make them.
Talk about a fast working brain. Do you drink fruit-shakes every morning?
Zeroskilz says
I don't know how you do it. Frankly, I think I'd lose my mind. Never been one for that much socialization. Funny twist on the anti-Valentines dance though. Thanks for sharing. Should have skipped the vid and just played the track though. :)
Mike the Knife says
Me and the Horse I Rode In On: Mmmm. Fruit smoothies! I drink 'em every chance I get. But I think it's the MOG Brain, not my brain, that's responsible for the time-shift. Danish country?!? That would be Denmark, right?
August: I'm likin' the wacky video. In fact, I am enamored of all their videos. For instance, the "La La La" clip is a real trip. Regarding L.A., the stay continues until March 1, unless something radical changes things. And prosperous? Not really. Just access to a bit of luxury for the duration of the stay.
Misstee: Genie? Are you now or have you ever been trapped in a bottle?
Zeroskilz: I am made of stern stuff - and keep it to one beer a day, so the social whirl doesn't leave me too dizzy. Yeah, that night at Birds was uncommonly entertaining. And, again, I get a real kick out of TBATB's viddies. But those who don't feel as I do need not subject themselves to the weirdness. The full track is streamed for your comfort.
Jonh Ingham says
The Upright Citizens Brigade??? This is a real group of citizens? Not an ironic herd of hipsters? In the part of my heart that holds LA near and dear I love the thought that this may be a group of honest citizens. It also feels some nostalgic pining to sit in a restaurant or bar and hear Depeche Mode and Berlin. Next you'll tell us you heard KROQ play 'Sit On My Face Stevie Nicks'.
Mike the Knife says
Jonh: Sadly enough, the bulk of KROQ's programming is pretty much behind the MOG curve, so I wouldn't be surprised to hear an "oldies" block with "Sit On My Face, Stevie Nicks." KCRW, on the other hand, is much closer to coolness in this day and age.
For the record, The Upright Citizens Brigade is a subversive comedy troupe that started in Chicago, relocated to NYC, produced a Comedy Central TV series in the late '90s while running an improv comedy course that was so popular that the group opened a small theater space in Lower Manhattan for shows and classes. In 2001, UCB member Amy Poehler was tapped to be a cast member for NBC's "Saturday Night Live" where she is still among the more accomplished performers. Meanwhile, UCB opened an L.A. location a few years ago - the same space that provided stage time to our unidentified Amazonian comedienne.
Jonh Ingham says
Yeah, I regularly listen to KCRW on my Internet radio - best Christmas present - well, not ever - but up there. It still brings me the sounds I want to hear but didn't know that I did.
Ah, too bad about UCB - I was hoping it was a bunch of old guys from Toluca Lake. But I'm hoping you cross paths with Ms. Amazonian and we learn if she's any good and shows promise.
Bartleby says
A most inquisitive post about life in LA... Such strange creatures inhabit this city of fallen angels. Your descriptions of professional life disguised as socialite events reminds me of the scene at the Schwab Drug Store where William Holden's character loiters before being in Gloria Swanson's talons.
LA is a fascinating city: all waiters are aspiring actors and all actors are inspiring to a gig, any gig will do. - I remember seeing 24hr gyms where people were still exericising at 1am...
I wonder what went on in Q's mind not that he's 75... Does he reminisce on how his score for "In the Heat On The Night" was welcome or does he smile at the sight of younger generations feeding the same anti-dream mill?
HelenMarie says
Great post!
Fascinating story on the scene at Birds and like the "24 hours earlier" lead. I needed those tunes you mentioned in my "anti-Valentine" post...so wish I would've thought of 'em.
And you've done it again with the tune. Love the lyrics, esp...
"there's nothing left to hide you away
just show a little bit of brain
"i try to be as coy as i can
but i wanna see your naughty bit" Ha...good stuff!
vannatta says
Mike thanks for bringing the sights, sounds, and smells of a hard working LA scene to the pages of MOG... great tune as well - I'm hooked on the Bird and the Bee...
Mike the Knife says
Jonh: On the case! If the world's tallest stand-up comedienne makes a splash, we'll know it.
Bartleby: And the day doesn't go by down here when I don't ride down Sunset Blvd. and think of "Sunset Boulevard" and Swanson's has-been film star. Talk about your cautionary tales. I'd guess that Quincy has seen so much success and so many dreams die that he's somewhere between philosophical and bemused when he observes the aspiring hordes. Of course, that's just guesswork. He might be hearing an old or new melody in his head, or thinking about dessert.
SunshineDaydream: Thanks, Sunny. There's so much thwarted romance and negativity out there in pop music that they were able to program a night of it at Birds. Happily, TBATB serves as an antidote to all manner of misery!
vannatta: No problemo! My curse, my gift. And speaking of gifts, the lovely Inara George (bird?) and her partner Greg Kurstin (bee?) just released an EP of love songs in time for Valentine's Day. Must get!
extraordinarypoems: It's an overwhelming place if you don't gird yourself, but you should check it out. For better or worse, it's a wellspring of American popular culture.
goodmusiconly says
Thanks for the glimpse ... seems like happiness, love, and success can be elusive enough, but I imagine even moreso in Hollyweird where things are clouded by the superficial appeal of wealth and fame. Here's hoping your time there in the coming weeks is more about the vibrant/impassioned heart of the city than the cold/mechanical one. Great tunage and post, Michael. I imagine you're aware TB&B have a new EP out, but if not you can cop a listen to a new tune "here":http://www.thebirdandthebee.com/ :)
Mike the Knife says
Thanks, Erin. It's cray-to-tha-zee here, as usual. But if it's good enough for Inara and Greg, I can tough it out. (Yes, as stated in my response to Vanetta's comment, I'm hot in pursuit of the love-song EP. Woo!)
Jenny Tatone says
Ah-ha! Excellent post. I wouldn't mind a little of that bizzarro world now and then, just for laughs and good stories like your own. Portland's unified hipsterdom gets a little, yawn, tiring.
Mike the Knife says
Come on down and visit us in Cali again, J.T. We were happy to have you around at Sonicnet - and L.A. could use a little Tatone savvy as the entertainment business implodes from the Internet squeeze. (Of course, I'm scheduled to be back in S,F. on March 1, right before I completely succumb to Hollyweirdness...)
As many have said before me, Los Angeles is so much more about angles than angels. But what strange and terrible force has pulled me out the benign comfort of San Francisco and dragged me down to Southern California and, specifically, L.A. yet again? My callous mistress, Show Business.I motor hither and yon, working and playing – sometimes simultaneously. I take meetings that masquerade as dinners, and go to parties and bars that generate more professional contacts than love connections.A glimpse:There’s producer/composer/arranger extraordinaire Quincy Jones - the decades of musical accomplishments etched onto his knowing, slightly weary face - sitting with a party of three at a centrally-located table in the dining room of STK, an upscale steakhouse and the latest restaurant hotspot in Hollywood. The place is filled and percolating on Friday night. It’s the official opening after a few celebrity-splashed shakedown dinners earlier in the week, when the likes of comedian Adam Sandler and “Heroes” ingénue Hayden Panettiere sampled the place, approved, and were captured on film (coming and going) by the omnipresent paparazzi - pictures posted on gossip websites within minutes. Now, a couple of the acting Arquettes are in the house. (Was that Patricia or Rosanna - or their transsexual sister Alexis? Not sure.) And a few stars of hour-long TV dramas; and, of course, Mr. Jones. The piranhas with cameras lurk in wait out on the sidewalk.Inside, scene-makers mingle with the famous and the well-connected/well-heeled wannabes, and the sound system feeds the room a diet of ‘80s pop and rock with the likes of Tom Petty, Depeche Mode and Berlin. The buoyancy of Michael Jackson’s "The Way You Make Me Feel" from the Jacko/Quincy Jones-produced 1987 album Bad brightens the room. A slight smile slips across Quincy’s face as he surveys his surroundings and perhaps notes that a few of the beautiful people in attendance are gently grooving to a beat he forged.24 hours earlier:As Valentine’s Day approaches midnight, I sit with two longtime pals – a comedian and an animation director – at Birds, a very lively, very crowded bar on Franklin. The joint is hosting an anti-Valentine bash and the DJ is spinning extremely pointed selections, including Nancy Sinatra’s ‘60s female-empowerment anthem “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’” and the Rolling Stones’ illustrious, insistent, embittered rock and roll plaint “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.” With every song, the patrons in Birds become increasingly enflamed and, contrary to the theme of the event, step up their mating dance.Meanwhile, a cute 6-foot-plus redhead in kooky thrift-shop garb sits by herself in a booth, sips a glass of rose wine, and impassively rebuffs any guy who tries to strike up a conversation with her. She carries a Frederick’s of Hollywood shopping bag instead of a purse. When asked about it, she explains that she has just finished performing improv comedy at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theater a few doors down, and the bag is a prop. She’s no older than 21 or 22, and is trying to get a career in comedy up and running. “I’m more of a stand-up and sketch performer than an improviser,” she says. “But you have to network, and you have to showcase for the people making the decisions in this town, and the UCB is good for that.”She takes a final sip of wine, stands up, and heads for the door. My comedian friend, who has enjoyed quite a successful, ongoing run in movies and on TV, is sitting nearby and sees her leave alone. She’s an eye-catching figure, to say the least. As she departs, disappointment clouds his features. He could have been her angel. Alas, a missed opportunity for both of them to work the angles. The DJ plays Kaiser Chiefs’ “Everyday I Love You Less and Less.” The lyrics fall on deaf ears attached to smiling customers determined to pick up someone before closing time.Aperitif:My preferred contemporary L.A. music-makers The Bird & The Bee perform a little nightlife magic in the delightfully skewed video showcasing their wry cabaret-rock number “Polite Dance Song” from the Please Clap Your Hands EP:
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