By: Brittany Flynn | Associate Editor

Aside from ganking Randy Newman's piano or stealing Alan Menken's identity, there are really only three ways to win Best Original Song at the Academy Awards. While the category was born in 1935 at the 7^th year of the event, the criteria to ensure that big win has remained strikingly similar.

T-Bone Burnett's win last night ("The Weary Kind," Crazy Heart) was a rare instance of the award actually going to the right person.

Without further ado, here's how to go home with a bronzed little man.

Get Animated

People love it when Elton John, Phil Collins, or Vanessa Williams voice their favorite animated couples. Would you really be able to feel the love between Simba and Nala if Elton didn't get all ballady about star-crossed voyagers' hearts beating in time? Doubtful! Now we can thankfully relate so much better to fake lions finding love. The renewed love for Disney animated movies began in 1989 with The Little Mermaid, one of the best soundtracks ever (I'm only half-joking). Disney basically owned the Original Song category from 1992-2002 winning half of the awards in that ten-year span. Of course, Hercules lost to Titanic in 1998, but what movie that year didn't?

Get Cheesed

"Take My Breath Away" wasn't just written to become a future prom song. No, it was written for lonely moms so they would fall in love with Maverick and buy the whole damn album. It's a plus for them then, that the lyrics read somewhat like a bodice-ripping romance novel. The cover would feature an aviator-sporting man who has scooped up a tiny little woman wearing combat boots and a negligé. Reflecting on mem'ries of lovers' past, like Babs did with "The Way We Were," the title track from the 1973 film is another surefire way to get noticed. If that were a bodice-ripper novel, we'd see Babs and Redford in their matching trench coats and nothing else. In other words, if you want to write an award-winning, over-the-top love song, first pretend you're writing the worst romance novel ever.

Get Flamboyant

In this world you can't not have the element of cheesy enthusiasm that Glee only hopes to replicate. In looking at the list of past winners, it is easy to discover the subtleties that separate a regular song from a karaoke number. Luckily, Oscar's history shows there's a wealth of award-able karaoke gems: "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" by most known unknown artist Christopher Cross, Dirty Dancing duet "(I've Had) the Time of My Life," Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me" (from White Nights, an '80s movie about male ice skaters in the Soviet? Say no more.) and obviously "Flashdance...What a Feeling." The singing should border on shouting, inspire chest-pounding and choreographed ensemble dancing. The karaoke factor is so high you're even moved to whip out your jazz hands singing along to Carly Simon's "Let the River Run" (Working Girl), and that's saying a lot because that song is not just outright horrible, it's also still Oscar-worthy.

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