Wack Tats: The Worst Musician Tattoos in Existence
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To celebrate the hilariously unexpected launch of his new oil & gas company (seriously! Birdman WILL drink your milkshake!) rapper/Cash Money CEO Birdman recently got an oil rig tattooed on the side of his cranium. While we wish Birdman success in the oil business, it remains one of the worst tatoos we've seen anywhere (let alone on the head of a multi-millionaire).
Of course, many wealthy entertainers have covered their bodies in unbelievably questionable artwork. First let's take a look at the stars, and then at the fans who take it to another level entirely.
Birdman's Oil Rig
Birdman's huge star. He refers to himself as the "5 Star General"
The crazed apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Check out Lil Wayne, who has one of the worst prison-tattoo collections of in existence. It's even more amazing when you consider the fact that has never actually spent more than a few days in jail... yet.
Rappers can't have all the fun, check out the masterful art on Amy Winehouse. Classy.
When Dave Navarro was a young lad, he got married to Carmen Electra and got her initials tattooed on his stomach. That one worked out well....
Here's Mariah Carey and her new victim, I mean husband.....Nick Cannon. It's going to hurt like a bitch to remove the giant MARIAH tattoo one day. He should have talked to Dave Navarro first.
Barcode tattoos were cool for about six months in 1995. They're slightly cooler than the tribal tattoos every jerk in New Jersey has around his bicep. Sorry Pink.
Rick Ross has a tattoo of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington over his supple breasts. Notice Birdman standing in the background? Maybe they get their work done by the same guy.
Has Boy George made ONE good decision since 1990?
Unless Flo Rida walked into a tattoo shop and said "I want a portrait of a decomposing Jimi Hendrix QUICK!!"... someone did a horrible job.
Good News: The Game got a butterfly tattooed on his face and then realized it was a mistake.
Bad News: The Game covered up the butterfly with this big red star, and the LA Dodgers logo.
Fat Joe has a tattoo of Tony Montana that looks looks like it was drawn by by a seven year old.
DMX loved his pet dog so much, he dedicated his entire back to the memory of Boomer, who was hit by a car.
And last but not least.... theres Nelly. I'm GUESSING it's supposed to look like his skin is tearing open and you can see his heart. To me it kinda looks like we're staring downwards into a carton of pasta takeout.
THE FANS:
Enough of the stars... let's check out the fans.
Virgin Mary Janet Jackson. Greatest tattoo ever?
If we want to look at the silver lining here... If I were forced at gunpoint to get a tattoo of Ol Dirty Bastard anywhere on my body... I'd get it on my foot too.
Second choice? Armpit.
I don't think we need a caption for this Michael Jackson tat.
Moonwalker.
I know we're covering the worst tattoos.... but although this was generally a bad idea to get. It's actually pretty badass, and hilarious.
I'm pretty sure this is the only person on the face of the earth who has a mural of Westlife across their back. I'm sure this ruins many intimate moments for her boyfriends. We'll leave it at that.
This post wouldn't be complete without a kiss fan.
If Madonna died in 1982 and wandered onto the thriller video shoot.. she probably would have looked like this.
At first I thought this was the guy in NSYNC who had hair extentions, but when you look closer you'll realize its Adam Duritz of The Counting Crowes.
"The O.D.B. couldnt possibly have all the bad tattoos.... Coolio got some of them shits" (word to Chris Rock)
When the wave of shame overtakes this guy for having a Vanilla Ice tattoo, at least he has enough leg hair to shroud it in a veil of fur.
Locating MOG account...
Comments (14)
OH MAN! THINK BEFORE YOU GET INKED PEOPLE!!! LOL!
Soon to be added: my MOG tramp stamp!
"over his supple breasts"... Nice!
This is awesome! Bald Britt is just insane!
so sad that the Clay Aiken tat wasn't hideous enough for this post...or is it that he just isn't enough of a musician?
jeez. is this the beginning of Toxic Thursdays? how many toxic days are in a week?
i'm not betting that everyone digs my tats, but these are hard to look at. not only the tats, but the bodies! at least in the NBA those would be better.
I like body art, both in its rich cultural history over thousands of years, but in the artist ability to render such art on a canvas of skin.
There are some tatoos on people I have found interesting and even beautiful. But I am smart enough to know that Tatoos are intended to be deeply personal and a visible sign of moments, memories and accomplishments depending on the time period and culture in question.
That being said, the popularization of tatoos in the past 20 years disturbs me, mostly because they typically are ... ok wait, thats to much of a genralization......
becuase I feel that there are far to many people out there wearing ink on their skin for either marketting purposes or due to sheer mental instability (See any tatoo representing a "Favorite Band or movie hero", IE Clay Aiken or Scarface).
"Marketting purposes?"
Yes, allow me to explain. When you choose to ink your body, for the sole intent of "Fitting In, being cool and hip, being trendy or to present an image to fit a goal", you loose the personal aspect of tatoos. You are no longer getting them for yourself, but rather getting them in hopes it will get you something in return from others.
And thats the wrong reason to get a tatoo IMHO.
I personally have no Tatoos, nor can I forsee a reason to ever get one. Its just not something I am willing to do to my body. I figure if its important enough to put on my skin, then it should already be permanently in my mind. So why duplicate. But I do undestand its an individual choice, and like I mentioned before, I admire and appreciate the art form and the reasons behind peoples personal choice to permanently change their body forever to remember the moments, memories or accomplishments that they have gone through.
But Clay Aiken, Scar Face, the Tribal on the Bicep, the Rose on the Breast, the Tramp Stamp on the lower Back, the butterfly on the foot...... I consider that a different thing altogether.
Sorry If i offend anyone.
P.S. Robin, Dave C told me you have the Pussycat Dolls tattoed on your but.. that true? How much to make em dance? Just kidding...
no, Ghost, the Pussycat Dolls haven't gotten into my pants yet.
yet..... carry a big stick and walk softly, they could be around any corner... wait.. that didnt sound right....
Ghost: Wow, I share the exact same sentiment when it comes to tattoos. I don't have any myself, but I respect the art form. In fact I've designed a few (a tribal cross for my fiance and a memorial rose for a friend).
When I see someone covered in tattoos I can't help but imagine them in 30 or 40 years in a retirement home with faded and sagging reminders of their wasted youth.
Whoops... by "tribal cross" I meant Celtic.
Can we give Shannon Selberg the award for Best Musician Tattoo?
Lil Wayne is gonna look so bad in about 30 years - by which I mean even worse than he does now. That collection must really pull a selection of delightful women. Or is he a just a dumb idiot too? Oh wait - he got them all in the first place! The Amy collection proves you don't need to be smoking crack to make some dumb decisions. And now that she's got those 2 plastic balls where her breasts used to be, she must really look attractive when her clothes come off. Sorry - no-one should have to imagine that should they?
Ghost and Demo: I share your sentiments exactly. My dad has a ton of tattoos and I always got to hear about what were good decisions, what were bad ones, where not to get tattooed, etc..
I happen to have two myself, and have plans for more, but they are personal and not for reasons of band/person obsession or instability, I just really enjoy the art. AND, they won't be sitting out in broad daylight for the world to see.
I DO know enough to leave some things sacred, though, and things like full body tats/anything massive on people in general really unnerve me unless they are done immaculately and are not ridicule-worthy in their subject matter.