MOG

So today, in a sort of...fit of insanity and motivation, I decided that I don't want things. I mean, I have things, but I have the things I need. At home. I have them.

I also have an entire storage unit in Harrionburg that's full of my shit - my furniture (bed, dresser, night stand, chairs, tv stands, etc etc) and tons of just random shit that I've accumulated since freshman year. And god, my posters. I have so many posters. I have a huuuuge Zeppelin poster that was my dad's when he was in college. I have these kitschy little Happy Bunny figurines. I have tons and tons of magnets. I have ...clutter. I like it, but it's clutter. And since I moved from Harrisonburg in August, I honestly haven't found myself wishing I had any of it. Everything I've wanted or needed was something I brought home with me.

So I called the storage place and told her to give away all my shit. Or keep it, or sell it, or whatever. I said even if I call to change my mind, that she shouldn't let me; that she should tell me she already sold it, or burned it, or something. But I won't call. I'm stubborn.

I feel like I'm on the verge of something, and I guess I am. The secret that only one person in my life knows about is that I'm going to move to Houston. Apart from its faults (being in Texas is a pretty huge one), Houston is where I'll be happy, because Houston is where my best friend is, and Brenda is the only person I can fucking live with (even if I'll have my own apartment), and the only person I want to. So I'm moving to Houston. Don't know where yet, but for the first time since August, I'm actually fucking certain about what I'm going to be doing. I don't have the details - apartment, job, whatever - but I've got the solid concrete goal which is more than I've had up until now. When I have $2000 saved up, I'm going. It's not like I need a lot of money to live; I'm pretty low maintenance. When I think about it, I really hate money. But who doesn't?

So I'm jobless and clutterless, but my room is still a mess.

I'm starting a bartending class next Monday. Frankly, I like the idea.

And this song has been stuck in my head all day.

~_And all you see is where else you could be when you're at home. Out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone._~ ~_The flames and smoke climbed out of every window And disappeared with everything that you held dear. And you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need Cause you knew you were finally free._~