My Favorite Sexist Hits of All Time
Given the ridiculous dialogue over Sarah Palin recently, I thought I'd list my all-time favorite sexist hits. By the way, I don't think that pointing out facts of a serious lack of qualification is sexist. In fact, I screamed about the lack of qualifications of Clarence Thomas once. Oh yes, and George W. Bush. The ability to spell and speak should be prerequisites for being President of the United States. Call me a stickler.
Now, I don't want to argue with anyone over the definition of sexism and iffin' you do want to argue I should warn you that I have a degree in Women's Studies and can argue until the cows come home. In the meantime, this is just pure fun. Feel free to add to the list.
Here goes:
1. For the Love of Him by Bobbi Martin.
This one has such a great beat, you can't help but smile listening to it. Throw the roof open and hit the road, I dare you not to tap something while you're listening to it. And sing just as flat as you possibly can while you're at it! Just the horns in the opening will hook you. And you can't beat the lyrics:
When he opens the door
Says I'm home
Beware of the look in his eyes
They tell you the mood he's in
What kind of day it's been
For the love of him
Make him your reason for living
Give all the love you can give him
All the love you can
There be times when he won't say a word
And you wonder if there's something you said
The gentle touch of your hand
Tells him you understand
For the love of him
Make him your reason for living
Give all the love you can give him
All the love you can
Little things he forgets to do
Have you told him today I love you
When he reaches out be there
Show him that someone cares
He's a man and a man has to try
Let him run, let him fall, let him cry
His world won't fall apart
If you take him into your arms
For the love of him
Make him your reason for living
Give all the love you can give him
All the love you can
2. Wives and Lovers by Jack Jones. where do I begin? It is a Burt Bacharach/Hal David song so I can't go too hard on the guys. But Jesus Mary Mother of God, the song is so cheesy and hip! Can you say Ret Roh? My favorite lyrics:
Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you...
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here...
Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
It Must Be Him by Vicki Carr. This is not necessarily sexist, it's just codependent as hell. And obvisouly written before Caller ID! It cracks me up because she sings such a cheesy song with such melodramatic, theatrical style. Here goes:
I tell myself what's done is done
I tell myself don't be a fool
Play the field have a lot of fun
It's easy when you play it cool
I tell myself don't be a chump
Who cares let him stay away
That's when the phone rings
And I jump
And as I grab the phone I pray
Let it please be him
Oh dear God
It must be him
It must be him
Or I shall die
Or I shall die
Oh hello, hello,
My dear God, it must be him
But it's not him and then I die
That's when I die
After a while
I'm myself again
I pick the pieces off the floor
Put my heart on the shelf again
He'll never hurt me anymore
I'm not a puppet on a string
I'll find somebody else someday
Thats when the phone rings
And once again I start to pray
Let it please be him
Oh, dear God,
It must be him
It must be him
Or I shall die
Or I shall die
Oh, hello, hello, my dear God
It must be him
But it's not him
And then I die
That's when I die
Let it please be him
My dear God, it must be him
Or I shall die
Or I shall die
Wait..I just thought of another politically incorrect song, which was listed by Sylvestor Stallone (on iTunes) as one of his all-time favorites! Now don't be judging Sly, it is a great song. But the lyrics..."she's just 16 years old, leave her alone they say..." A pedophile's delight? You decide.
To be continued
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Comments (7)
I mentioned a line I heard on another MOG comment lately, but this post demands a reprise: "Asking women to vote the Republican ticket is like asking chickens to vote for Colonel Sanders."
Your post also reminds me of what Calvin Trillin wrote not long after Dan Quayle was named Bush The Elder's VP choice. Trillin proposed an amendment to the constitution that would require all presidents (or vice presidents) to have mantained a C average.
Now, on to the music, Of course, any number of old country songs would meet your criteria, starting with "Stand By Your Man." On the male side, you've got yer metal gonad-brains, but their sexism is so self-conscious it's not worth considering. For a song to aspire to the lofty standards you've set, a certain unconsciousness of the idiocy contained within the lyric is necessary. I think first of Billy Joel's "She's Always A Woman." I can't dig up the exact lyrics without erasing the rest of my words, but I'll try to scare it up. He is, of course, an appalling lyricist, but even considering that, this song is remarkably insensible....
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes,
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies,
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me.
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you,
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you,
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free,
Yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding,
But she brings out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself cause she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel,
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool,
But she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree,
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me.
When this song was on the radio, and my friend's eldest daughter was in the primary grades, she thought that the "throw shadows" line was weird/funny.
How could I forget "Stand By Your Man", it's so...quintessential! But once Lyle Lovett did the remake it sort of righted the original! If you have not heard Lyle's version you ought to! Even better, here's BOTH of them!
Wahiawa, thanks for the assist on that. Wow, they're even more awful than I remembered.
Lulu, for some reason I'm getting a "this video is no longer available" message, but I'm going to YouTube now to check this out for myself. Often this is just a matter of the "owner" not wanting the video to migrate off YouTube....
What about The Crystals "He Hit Me (it Felt Like a Kiss)." Phil Specter bombast with...well a little Phil Specter. I still can't believe that song ever got released.
Some of the lyrics of the music remind me of my new favorite show Mad Men. It's amazing the blatant sexism that (I guess in my case) our grandparents were just living with eveyday. There's so many great things about the show, but it's just cringe worthy the things the female characters have to put up with.
Nice picks though, definitely a cheese factor in a lot of those, but they are good little products of their environment.
Hmmm...She's a Lady by Tom Jones might fit the bill too. Re "He Hit Me", darn I forgot about THAT one! Thanks for the reminder, contrabandwidth, this list is getting better all the time!
Spector offers a rich lode. I have never been able to wrap my brain around that line from the Ronettes' "Be My Baby" that goes, "For every kiss you give me, I've give you three".... As if kisses were trading cards....