Steven Tyler Laid Off From Aerosmith As Band's Jobless Rate Hits 20%
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Artist:
THIS JUST IN!
After years of relative stability, the Aerosmith unemployment rate soared to an all-time high of 20 percent Monday following the downsizing of the band's vocal sector, Steven Tyler.
The announcement of the largest-ever round of Aerosmith layoffs sent shock waves throughout the group, but band leaders said that four decades of perfect employment was "unrealistic" and that it was necessary to shed some of the graying, outmoded workforce.
"Tying a scarf to a microphone stand is unfortunately no longer a marketable skill," IndustryWeek editor David Blanchard said. "To compete in today's job market, you need to diversify your skill set. Someone who can not only sing, but also play tambourine and haul heavy equipment, is infinitely more valuable to a company."
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Comments (11)
Poor Dear, He's close to retirement age and will never get another job now....
If they're looking for a replacement, I understand Sammy Hagar might be available at a reasonable salary....
Sad sad news. I think the spandex industry is on the verge of collapse! I think Tyler kept it afloat since hair metal bottomed out in the 90's.
I think this is the last straw. We've moved on from recession to depression.
Maybe Liv Tyler will take him in and change his adult diapers.
Followed the link to the Onion. Not knowing that this was from the Onion I really thought Steve Tyler had been fired because it is not that far from what Rolling Stone was reporting. It just shows me that the writers of the Onion read Rolling Stone.
Thanks for the link.
did you see that footage of him stepping on stage with perry last week? he said something about there being only one king in aerosmith
guys that old who've been through the ringer that many times and still haven't found humility are so fucking boring
Hey Neil, speaking of guys with no humility (no not you), have you had a track on House? Was watching it last night and could have sworn that heartfelt voice was you, but I was too tired to get my phone and shazam it.
not that i'm aware of Jonh, but that would be a nice surprise check in the mail that is much needed right about now!
Most amusing, Jonh!
I knew this had to be a joke! LMAO. Thanks!