Work Conversations Part Deux

BerkeleyPerrin : are you feeling better?HereLiesJenNYNot : sans the brainpain yesHereLiesJenNYNot : i think i had food poisoningHereLiesJenNYNot : puked all night, slept all dayHereLiesJenNYNot : which was niceBerkeleyPerrin : definitely food poisoningHereLiesJenNYNot : theres something dangerous and exciting about sleeping on a tuesday.HereLiesJenNYNot : bcuz its like hey i should be working...but im totally not going toBerkeleyPerrin : it's very trueHereLiesJenNYNot : damn kebabHereLiesJenNYNot : i thought it was undercookedHereLiesJenNYNot : turns out i was rightBerkeleyPerrin : yepHereLiesJenNYNot : i miss anything good?BerkeleyPerrin : aside from the spice girls right now? no. nothing.HereLiesJenNYNot : our lives are sadBerkeleyPerrin : i wouldn't argue with youBerkeleyPerrin : any word from estebanBerkeleyPerrin : did he bring you matza ball soup?HereLiesJenNYNot : noHereLiesJenNYNot : i dont know what i should do about himBerkeleyPerrin : fuckerBerkeleyPerrin : did you hear from himHereLiesJenNYNot : noBerkeleyPerrin : not since when?HereLiesJenNYNot : but its only been two days so i was like ok thats normalHereLiesJenNYNot : sunday nightBerkeleyPerrin : yeahBerkeleyPerrin : did you initiate any contact?HereLiesJenNYNot : not since thenHereLiesJenNYNot : i dont get it.HereLiesJenNYNot : the last time we were together it was totally fineHereLiesJenNYNot : no ideaBerkeleyPerrin : maybe he's weirded out by his friendBerkeleyPerrin : you could just ask him if somethings wrongBerkeleyPerrin : maybe he said something to him and he backed off or somethingHereLiesJenNYNot : yeah this sucksHereLiesJenNYNot : and i think reid picked up on the fact that i dont really like him like that bcuz i havent heard from him at allHereLiesJenNYNot : which sucks becuz i wanted him to be my friendBerkeleyPerrin : crapBerkeleyPerrin : you are like a pathetic fallacy in motionHereLiesJenNYNot : dammit youre rightBerkeleyPerrin : hahahaHereLiesJenNYNot : i dont know what his deal is tho...that one mystifies meHereLiesJenNYNot : much like the INXS songHereLiesJenNYNot : mystify. mystifiiiii meeeee.HereLiesJenNYNot : michael hutchence was hotBerkeleyPerrin : i LOVE INXSHereLiesJenNYNot : me tooBerkeleyPerrin : michael hutchence!BerkeleyPerrin : tragic existenceBerkeleyPerrin : you would have been blissfully tortured togetherHereLiesJenNYNot : i want to die like michael hutchence, i feel that is the most rockstar way to dieHereLiesJenNYNot : I KNOW!HereLiesJenNYNot : INXS is the first band i rememberHereLiesJenNYNot : dude have you ever seen the music video for Devil Inside?HereLiesJenNYNot : i maintain that its one of the hottest music videos of all timeHereLiesJenNYNot : next to of course...TAKE ON ME!!!! TAKE ON ME!!! TAKE ME ONNNNNNNHereLiesJenNYNot : i love that songBerkeleyPerrin : HAHAAHAAAHereLiesJenNYNot : it was actually voted the best music video of all timeBerkeleyPerrin : by you?BerkeleyPerrin : because although i mean you are great, do you really have the authority to do that?HereLiesJenNYNot : VH1 bitchBerkeleyPerrin : fineBerkeleyPerrin : whoreHereLiesJenNYNot : wait im looking for itHereLiesJenNYNot : i cant believe youve never seen itHereLiesJenNYNot : family guy did a spoof of it its hilariousHereLiesJenNYNot : its sooo goodHereLiesJenNYNot : so fucking 80sHereLiesJenNYNot : http://youtube.com/watch?v=AA57LGJygpYBerkeleyPerrin : christHereLiesJenNYNot : ok look at this:HereLiesJenNYNot : http://youtube.com/watch?v=ioqO5mDE7u8&mode=related&search =HereLiesJenNYNot : love itBerkeleyPerrin : hahahahhhahhBerkeleyPerrin : i love family guyHereLiesJenNYNot : where have you been?!?! I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!HereLiesJenNYNot : it was ranked 24 on vh1's greatest songs of the 80sBerkeleyPerrin : not suprised you know thatBerkeleyPerrin : not one bitHereLiesJenNYNot : im on wikipediaHereLiesJenNYNot : look...kanye west sings and dances to it: http://www.buzznet.com/tags/coachella/video/15540/HereLiesJenNYNot : sweetHereLiesJenNYNot : i hate kanyeBerkeleyPerrin : you love himBerkeleyPerrin : he's gayBerkeleyPerrin : actually gayHereLiesJenNYNot : is he??!?!!HereLiesJenNYNot : i hope soBerkeleyPerrin : likes menHereLiesJenNYNot : gay guys like men?!?!?!HereLiesJenNYNot : what?!?!BerkeleyPerrin : well i knowBerkeleyPerrin : my friend is coming in town for her gay cousin's engagement party this weekendBerkeleyPerrin : so LA Jewish gay weddingBerkeleyPerrin : 3 engagement partiesBerkeleyPerrin : i want a gay cousinBerkeleyPerrin : liven things up around this jointHereLiesJenNYNot : i want a gay jewish cousinBerkeleyPerrin : let's buy oneBerkeleyPerrin : 'and a puppyBerkeleyPerrin : 2 for 1 dealHereLiesJenNYNot : yes!HereLiesJenNYNot : ok i think the guy from a-ha was hot back in 1985HereLiesJenNYNot : damnHereLiesJenNYNot : is it just me or is today moving at snail speed?HereLiesJenNYNot : its not even 10BerkeleyPerrin : i knowBerkeleyPerrin : wowBerkeleyPerrin : it hurts todayBerkeleyPerrin : to be aliveHereLiesJenNYNot : it really doesHereLiesJenNYNot : its so quiet back here...aside from every 5 secs when spike prints something out then walks back here to retrieve it like teh trained dinosaur she isHereLiesJenNYNot : we should write our own officeBerkeleyPerrin : i knowBerkeleyPerrin : we shouldHereLiesJenNYNot : we've got a wealth of comedic gold at our disposalBerkeleyPerrin : and pitch it to ASBerkeleyPerrin : your boyfriendHereLiesJenNYNot : AS?BerkeleyPerrin : andy sambergBerkeleyPerrin : idiotHereLiesJenNYNot : ohhhhhhhhhhhHereLiesJenNYNot : omg can we pleaseBerkeleyPerrin : yesBerkeleyPerrin : our chroniclesHereLiesJenNYNot : and then he'll fall in love with me and we'll go holocaust on natalie portman togetherHereLiesJenNYNot : and we are the voices of reasonBerkeleyPerrin : voice of reason 1 and 2HereLiesJenNYNot : sarcastic reasonBerkeleyPerrin : YESBerkeleyPerrin : irrelevant reasonHereLiesJenNYNot : yes it should be some sort of study in the postcollegiate experienceHereLiesJenNYNot : a coming of age amongst idiotsBerkeleyPerrin : yesBerkeleyPerrin : coming of age for the village idiotHereLiesJenNYNot : finally getting to the real world and realizing this is an over-idealized notion that i cannot subscribe to.BerkeleyPerrin : yesHereLiesJenNYNot : we need a good theme songHereLiesJenNYNot : like the office, something happy go lucky that could get depressing but isntBerkeleyPerrin : YESBerkeleyPerrin : INXS?BerkeleyPerrin : devil insideHereLiesJenNYNot : YESBerkeleyPerrin : come on it's got a cheery backbeatHereLiesJenNYNot : or new sensationBerkeleyPerrin : ooooh love itHereLiesJenNYNot : omg you knwo what song i love by inxs?!?!HereLiesJenNYNot : Need you tonight.HereLiesJenNYNot : just slide over hereHereLiesJenNYNot : your moves are so rawHereLiesJenNYNot : ive got to let you knowBerkeleyPerrin : YESBerkeleyPerrin : ooooh i LOVE that one'HereLiesJenNYNot : yeah that song is hotHereLiesJenNYNot : like i would put that on a sex playlistHereLiesJenNYNot : which i haveHereLiesJenNYNot : and its on thereHereLiesJenNYNot : the playlist is coyly entitled: THis Fire is Outta Control.BerkeleyPerrin : SO hotBerkeleyPerrin : i love being coyHereLiesJenNYNot : i swear if she walks back here to print something one more time, im going tiennamen square on herHereLiesJenNYNot : i can feign communism for the sweet relief of justice.BerkeleyPerrin : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHereLiesJenNYNot : i hope that you're ready for hotness:HereLiesJenNYNot : http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1535931&vid=99065BerkeleyPerrin : wowHereLiesJenNYNot : damn michael hutchence's siren song.BerkeleyPerrin : 80s glamHereLiesJenNYNot : so hot.BerkeleyPerrin : i'm starting to think you were born in the wrong eraBerkeleyPerrin : and planetHereLiesJenNYNot : im starting to think that im just really attracted to pretty men.BerkeleyPerrin : spike looks like she's on drugssHereLiesJenNYNot : who tend to be jewish.BerkeleyPerrin : her eyes are even more slanted than usualHereLiesJenNYNot : shes probably on some crazy chinese version of peyoteHereLiesJenNYNot : i cant stop staring at andy samberg.BerkeleyPerrin : knowHereLiesJenNYNot : damn these unrequited loves of mine!HereLiesJenNYNot : fie!HereLiesJenNYNot : i defy you stars!BerkeleyPerrin : although maybe i'll call my new crush ac slater and meet him instead take him back to the jacuzzi and do bad thingsHereLiesJenNYNot : yesHereLiesJenNYNot : i need a jacuzzi and a guy to do bad things toBerkeleyPerrin: you are weakHereLiesJenNYNot: dammit i suck.BerkeleyPerrin: like a little sick anmialHereLiesJenNYNot: i hate my life.BerkeleyPerrin: yep.HereLiesJenNYNot: its not fairHereLiesJenNYNot: whenever i actually have a shot at being happyHereLiesJenNYNot: god viciously takes it away from meHereLiesJenNYNot: becuz god hates meBerkeleyPerrin: that's just how you areBerkeleyPerrin: your life is planned out to be a ruinous and depressing pit of despairBerkeleyPerrin: it's how you will be artistic and twisty and will only be appreciated after you dieBerkeleyPerrin: elliot anyone?HereLiesJenNYNot: but theres no reason why i shouldnt be allowed to at least hook up with a pretty jew every now and again HereLiesJenNYNot : you know who else is tricky?HereLiesJenNYNot : the internHereLiesJenNYNot : i never hear her come in or leaveBerkeleyPerrin : i knowBerkeleyPerrin : so trickyBerkeleyPerrin : i think she's jedi trained that's whyHereLiesJenNYNot : i cant compete with a jediBerkeleyPerrin : well you canBerkeleyPerrin : you just have to be ninja trained in the buHereLiesJenNYNot : but im on team SithHereLiesJenNYNot : becuz hayden christensen is hotHereLiesJenNYNot : terrible actorHereLiesJenNYNot : but hotBerkeleyPerrin : yesBerkeleyPerrin : terribleBerkeleyPerrin : but prettyBerkeleyPerrin : shocked you like himHereLiesJenNYNot : i know hes so prettyHereLiesJenNYNot : swoonHereLiesJenNYNot : i cant help that i like guys of undefinable beautyHereLiesJenNYNot : i think subconsciuosly im just like, i can only hook up with those of my caste or higherBerkeleyPerrin : pretty soft clean shaven menBerkeleyPerrin : it's very trueBerkeleyPerrin : but why stoop?HereLiesJenNYNot : i cannot stoopHereLiesJenNYNot : let me find a pic of the one manly guy i datedBerkeleyPerrin : what abotu the bartender was he pretty?HereLiesJenNYNot : yup.HereLiesJenNYNot : jesus christ brad let himself goHereLiesJenNYNot : he looks horribleHereLiesJenNYNot : he gained a lot of weightHereLiesJenNYNot : wow i dont even recognize himBerkeleyPerrin : yikesHereLiesJenNYNot : damnedHereLiesJenNYNot : well one cool thing is that i have gotten so much hotter since we dated and he looks horrendousHereLiesJenNYNot: which is coolBerkeleyPerrin: name that movie: you leave me in the trenches throwing grenades Jon!HereLiesJenNYNot: im going with wedding crashersBerkeleyPerrin: god you're brilliantHereLiesJenNYNot: yes. yes i am.HereLiesJenNYNot: now i want to go home.HereLiesJenNYNot: food comaHereLiesJenNYNot: food comaBerkeleyPerrin: christBerkeleyPerrin: you are like the little weak duckling of the groupHereLiesJenNYNot: i knowBerkeleyPerrin: that gets picked off by the vultureHereLiesJenNYNot: my dad teases me for being so sicklyHereLiesJenNYNot: i never used to be so prone to diseaseHereLiesJenNYNot: but now i amBerkeleyPerrin: you really areBerkeleyPerrin: weakHereLiesJenNYNot: see thats something that he needs to knowHereLiesJenNYNot: he strikes me as the type who needs to be in controlHereLiesJenNYNot: which is fine by meHereLiesJenNYNot: but he has some silly notion that im independentHereLiesJenNYNot: when really i'm not i trick people into doing shit for meBerkeleyPerrin: hahhaahahBerkeleyPerrin: you are very tricky about thatHereLiesJenNYNot: yesHereLiesJenNYNot: right now im hunting for a new song for my myspace pageBerkeleyPerrin: busy day huhHereLiesJenNYNot: im a tireless worker really.HereLiesJenNYNot: actually thats a lieHereLiesJenNYNot: i tire easilyHereLiesJenNYNot: but what im trying to say is that im tiredHereLiesJenNYNot: and i'd like to go homeHereLiesJenNYNot: i actually got more than enough sleep last nightHereLiesJenNYNot: but my body is so weakHereLiesJenNYNot: im so mean to itHereLiesJenNYNot: poor little guyHereLiesJenNYNot: or girlBerkeleyPerrin: hahahahBerkeleyPerrin: are you detoxing?BerkeleyPerrin: retoxing?HereLiesJenNYNot: i need to detoxHereLiesJenNYNot: how does one detox without me not dyingHereLiesJenNYNot: i need a detox that allows foodBerkeleyPerrin: hahhahaBerkeleyPerrin: detox can be just no violent drugs and alcoholBerkeleyPerrin: idiotBerkeleyPerrin: you can eatHereLiesJenNYNot: ahHereLiesJenNYNot: i seeHereLiesJenNYNot: well thats not going to happenHereLiesJenNYNot: i drinkBerkeleyPerrin: hahaHereLiesJenNYNot: its when i dont drink that i have these violent fits of depressionHereLiesJenNYNot: obviouslyHereLiesJenNYNot: im really into norwegian bands todayBerkeleyPerrin: ummm