Talking Heads in Real Life: Burning Down the House
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Note: the following is the first of what may be a new series of posts, depending on how much I feel like continuing, wherein I chronicle how my life in some way relates to the various lyrics laid down by David Byrne in his various incarnations.
I don't want to brag, but I consider myself a pretty educated guy. And yet for some reason I can not, for the life of me, figure out the burners on our stove. I swear, about once a week (and I do a lot of the cooking at the house) I try to turn on the front burner, and accidentally turn on the back. Or vice versa. This is a bit embarrasing. As my wife likes to point out every time I make this mistake, there are even helpful pictures to let me know which burner I'm turning on, and yet I still make this mistake on a regular basis.
The good news is that usually it's a no harm-no foul situation. I might go a couple of minutes before I realize that the burner that is supposed to be on is not getting hot. So I make the switch, laugh at myself a little, and move on. But not tonight.
See, tonight I decided to make some corn on the cob. We have a bag of frozen corn, so I took it out and laid it on the only available space we had at the moment, the stove top (you can tell where this is going, right?). I turn on the burner for the pot of water, and start seasoning the pork chops (I don't know what it is, but pork chops laden with basil is a perfect match. Try it.)
A minute or so later I start to smell it. That umistakeable smell of burning plastic--you know it, acrid and just somehow wrong. Of course, I immediately realize what I've done and remove the bag, but not before the whole side of it has melted on the burner and started to pour out a thick, raunchy smoke. So now, I've got a messed up bag, but even worse, a messed up burner that I have to figure out how to clean. I got off as much as I could while it was still hot, but I'm going to have to do some serious scraping in the near future.
In honor of this stupidity, plus the fact of my impending date with David Byrne on September 20th, I present you with a Talking Heads in Real Life moment.
Comments (21)
I consider myself a pretty educated guy.
That was your first mistake.
Hey isn't this just one of the greatest movies of all time?
Glad to hear ya didn't burn the house down.
Dang Chris, I am waiting for Groon's response. Oh, and dont feel bad about the burners, happens to me quite often but then again I dont consider my self to smart. I mean come on, I am a teacher
I mean come on, I am a teacher
Does this mean the real problem is I'm just giving myself too much credit?
Chris, to recall back to a conversation you two had yesterday, when was the last time you were called a "dick"?
Pump your brakes now! I can understand the possibility of confusing the transfer of upright direction pictures to real life burners.
I consider myself a pretty unedumaykated guy. I just turn any knob on the stove and see what happens. It's a surprise every time! But if all fails, (and most likely does with me) like you said you got your wife to point out your mistakes. I feel your pain brothu'!
BTW I laugh at your response to Chris. I actually laughed at his too. I'll just shut up now...
lakposhti: thanks for the out, so to speak, but you figure as some point I gotta figure it out, right?
RGM: great video, one of my all time faves. Talking Heads at that time were phenomenal, and RIL remains one of my top albums ever. I think it's amazing that every movement he makes in that video is preciesly choreographed, although it doesn't look like it at all.
and aren't wives great like that? I can't take credit for the comment to Chris, he actually said it to rawkkiddoh in one of their threads yesterday. I can, however, take credit for the clever reference, which is another of my many "faults" the wife likes to point out--"why don't you ever come up with anything original?" she likes to ask.
Groon with the service, and come back..............that made me laugh rather hard
Never get sick of this Talking Heads tunes. Your second paragraph made me laugh again. Yea my wife says the same thing. It's like god issued a handbook to every woman on how to bag on your husband and leave him speechless by using the same lines all the time lol!
go to home depot. buy fire extinguisher asap.
David: good idea.
RGM: further proof that god is a woman?
Kevin: Glad I could make you laugh . . . just trying to get your back! Chris hasn't responded yet, I wonder if he's in a corner, weeping?
True to dat' LOL!
Uh ... Uh ..... Well I know you are but what am I!
When the last time .. mmmm?
How about I am rubber your glue?
"I mean come on, I am a teacher."
And you two nut huggers are teaching our children? That in itself makes a good argument for home schooling.
uh, can't say i don't have the same issue with stoves. atleast you are not a home ec. teacher, that could be a liability. this post gave me an idea, would you mind if i co-opted this theme for a post?
I'm glad to know I'm not alone with this affliction.
I don't mind not at all. co-opt away!
thanks! i will give credit were credit is due
Nut huggers, lol!
It's OK, Groony. 'The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires'.
Ha!
I didn't realize when I posted it how full of kitchen incompetents this place is!
Mr Hyman - our voice of reason... you silly SpaceGroon !!!
I know I know (sheepish grin).