MOG

(The Girlfriend, Richie and myself cross a deserted football field to get to the edge of Malahide Castle. When we reach the main trek...)
Security Guard: (points twenty feet away) You have to go back there and get searched.
Richie: Can you not search us?
Security Guard: No. Not my job.
(We walk over to the search guys.)
Me: I was told to come back here and get searched.
Search Guy: (Shakes head) Only people with bags.
(I walk back to the Security Guard.)
Me: They’re only searching people with bags.
Security Guard: (Turns away) I wasn’t aware of that.
Me: (Grumpily) Jesus Christ. You’re standing there all day and you’re not aware of that. What are you aware of?
(He ignores me, or I should say, becomes unaware of me.)

(Inside the venue, we head for the bar...)
Richie: Ah fuck, it’s all Budweiser. Bubbly pisswater.
Me: No, it’ll be watered down. Just normal pisswater.
Richie: Grand, so.

(The gig is chockful of grizzled old rockers.)
The GF: More ponytails here than a horse show.
Me: It’s nice to feel young at a gig again. At new bands I feel like a paedophile in a school playground. Richie, you’ve had that experience, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Richie: Yes. Thanks for the frame of reference.

(Neil Young takes to the stage. He opens with a ten minute opus Love and Only Love.)
Me: God, he’s so... rock!
The GF: He’s a demon on that guitar.
Richie: Imagine he just kept going and going. One song for, like, eight hours.
Me: Nobody would complain. Well, maybe people with babysitters.

"Is it a bird, is it a plane... no, it's a giant ponytail."

(Glen Hansard from support band The Frames is a few feet away chatting to a man with a ponytail.)
Me: Fair play to him watching Neil Young out here with us plebs.
Richie: With his Oscar, he could be watching from the stage.
Me: Unless he was ejected. "I don’t care if you won an Oscar, you’re in Neil’s eyeline."
Richie: "Put your Oscar away! It’s no good here!"
Me: "It’s blinding Neil!"

(Neil Young’s "Electric" band catch the eye.)
Me: Forget guitar heroes. These are guitar warriors.
Richie: Or guitar pensioners. They look fairly beat up. It’s great to see, though. I hate when they get young guys in. Like the guitarists with Paul McCartney’s band. Doing metal guitar solos in the middle of Beatles songs. "Play the song, you cock!"

(A middle-aged woman is moshing. She turns around to me.)
Woman: (close to tears) I just love him! I can’t believe it! I’ve waited so long to see him!
Me: I know. I can see it all over your face.
(She goes back to moshing.)
Richie: What was that all about?
Me: She was having a bit of a Glastonbury moment. In Ireland. Brilliant.

"I call this one...The Sky"

(Unknown Legend is Young’s song about wife Pegi, who is doing backing vocals and keyboards. I find it quite moving. He follows it with my favourite song, Old Man.)
Me: (Sings lustily) "Love lost, such a cost, give me things that don't get lost eh…(Gets words wrong) Doesn’t mean that much… (Stops, listens to others, then sings) Like a coin that won't get tossed…eh…(Finishes verse strongly) rolling home to you!"

(Richie and The GF return with drinks.)
The GF: I met Carol Hennessy!
Me: Who’s Carol Hennessy?
The GF: I went to school with her. I used to love her. She was so intelligent and witty. I wanted to be Carol Hennessy!
Me: What’s she doing now?
Richie: Hooker.
The GF: She’s a teacher of History and English. I told her that I wanted to be her at school.
Me: What did she say?
The GF: She said she always wanted to be me! She said I was beautiful and creative!
Me: You should marry each other. It’s allowed now.
The GF: I told her I was marrying you. They thought you were Richie. I said, "No, he's my gay friend."
Richie: Great.

(The set finishes with a phenomenal version of A Day In The Life.)
Guy with ponytail: (close to heart attack) Neil's playing the Beatles! Neil's playing the Beatles!

(After the gig, the crowd around us make for the nearest exit sign. It’s unceremoniously shut in our faces, causing a small crush. At another exit, they only allow some people through...)
Me: Hey, can you let us all through here?
Security: This is a special exit.
Me: (Annoyed) Oh yeah?! Can I be special, too?!
Security Guard: (solemnly) This is for people with special needs.
(This takes the wind out of my sails...momentarily.)
Me: (pointing desperately at girl behind him) No, no. There’s a girl walking there.
(A woman in the crowd stares at me with a look of absolute horror.)
Woman: That girl is limping!
Me: No, no, she’s staggering--
Woman: No, she’s not! She’s been helped out of a wheelchair!
Me: Bullshit.
The Girlfriend: C’mon, let’s go this way.
Me: Okay.
(I scarper before it turns ugly.)

(We’re all squashed up the other end of the field now. I go up to a guard.)
Me: It’s like fucking Hillsborough here. It’s dangerous.
Security Guard: (smiles agreeably) I know!
Me: I’ve been to four or five gigs here and this is the worst security by a mile.
Security Guard: Tell me about it!
Me: Well...tell your bosses, will you?
Security Guard: I will!

(We get the train back into town. When we finally reach our station...)
Loud Bloke: Lemmings to the left! Wankers to the right!
(Richie stands up.)
Richie: Which way for wankers, did you say?!

"A Wanker and A Lemming...and Jill"

...

06-29-2008, Malahide Castle, Dublin, Ireland

Neil Young and His Electric Band

1. Love And Only Love
2. I've Been Waiting For You
3. Mr. Soul
4. Spirit Road
5. Powderfinger
6. Hey Hey, My My
7. Too Far Gone
8. Oh, Lonesome Me
9. Mother Earth
10. The Needle And The Damage Done
11. Unknown Legend
12. Old Man
13. Get Back To The Country
14. Words
15. No Hidden Path
---

16. A Day In The Life

Sugar Mountain Setlists