I taped infamous MOG outsider The Girlfriend as she discussed the best and the worst (mostly the worst) albums of the past month or so.
Note to my Australian Trusteds: You get it in the neck for no good reason. Sorry. Feel free to use the comments to take down the Irish.It won't be hard.
Excuses made, let us begin...
Magnetic Fields - Distortion
Fluxy: Well?
The Girlfriend: A very morbid voice. But I'm sure there's market for that among some people.
F: What type of people?
The GF: Australians.
F: But...Australians are happy go lucky, aren’t they?
The GF: No, they’re not. What's that guy's name? Nick Cage?
F: Nick Cave?
The GF: Yeah, Nick Cave. People who like his morbid singing will like this morbid singing.
F: What about the music?
The GF: It’s like the Mama and the Papas, except it’s very depressing. Look, the best songs in life make you feel something instantly. With others you have to stretch to feel an emotion while listening to it.
F: How far do you have to stretch to feel an emotion with Magnetic Fields?
The GF: The moon.
F: I see.
The GF: Music can transport you somewhere else. I don't want to be transported into the graveyard.
F: What would you say if I told you that the singer [Stephin Merrit] is considered quite the wit?
The GF: The what?
F: The wit.
The GF: I thought you said the twit.
Muscles – Guns, Babes, Lemonade
F: This guy is said to be the new Mike Skinner [of The Streets]. What do you think?
The GF: It’s like a jumble sale. A load of old shite cobbled together and sold back to you. I've heard all those sounds, those little snippets of songs before, only in…proper songs. They've just mashed them all together here. It's a real Mickey Mouse album.
F: So you don’t like Muscles, then.
The GF: Is that his name?! Muscles?! Is he a bouncer or something?
F: He could be.
The GF: Well, if that's the type of music he's making, it must be because he’s only hearing little bits of songs every time the club door swings open.
F: He's Australian, too.
The GF: There ya go!
Yeasayer - All Hours Cymbals
The GF: Where are that band from?
F: Brooklyn, New York.
The GF: Oh, I thought they were from Australia.
F: What does an Australian band sound like?
The GF: Like Midnight Oil. Tuneless. I've never heard a good Australian band except for Crowded House.
F: Forget about Australians for a minute. What do you think of this band?
The GF: I couldn't hear what he was saying. It could have been political, about like Rwanda or China or something. In fact, I could see a politician waving to his supporters during this music. Politicians always pick shit songs, though, don't they? It's just... bombastic. It's television program music. It’s Miami Vice music. Pamela Anderson running down the beach trying to save somebody music. Sucky music.
F: [My friend] Richie wanted to go to England to see this band for his birthday.
The GF: He’ll be going on his own!
F: They’re playing here in May, though. So we’re going to that instead.
The GF: Your funeral!
F: Anything else to say? About the music, that is?
The GF: It’s an album of hippy clichés. ‘Let's get back to the earth, let's use aboriginal music, let's find dwarfs and put them in.’
F: Aboriginal? There’s an Australian theme developing here…
The GF: I like Australian people, it's just most of their music is… boring.
F: But Yeasayer are not even Australian! They’re from Brooklyn in New York!!
The GF: I know, but they're singing like Australians! I bet they visited Australia for a while!!
F: Let’s move on! What about this [next] song?
The GF: Ugh. They're so straight. So consumed in their own hippyness, no true emotions coming out, fabricated, false smiles, ‘we're all perfect and normal and everyone lese is the problem’ Happy go lucky music , ‘we are the world, we are the children!’
F: You’re going off on a mad one now.
The GF: Well, when are we reviewing the good stuff? This is 80s crap. Like something off the soundtrack for Lost Boys.
F: Jesus. Listen to the content. In [the song] 2080, the singer has problems with the world...
The GF: What about the problems with himself? Look at your-fucking-self first, mate! You're probably the problem!
Cat Power - Jukebox
F: Okay, I love this album. I think it's phenomenal. I know you don't like it...
The GF: No, her voice is getting better each time I hear it.
F: Her voice? Or your ears?
The GF: Her voice.
F: But it’s the same voice.
The GF: Look, I admit, okay -- I thought she was just making a fucking fool of herself!
F: What do you mean?
The GF: She was going on and on about her drink problem in interviews, right? I thought, this woman with the drink problem is going to make a loopy fool out of herself with an album of covers.
F: Why?!
The GF: Because it’s like, ‘oooh I have a drink problem, I can sing anything I want and get away with it. If I make a fool of myself, sure I was a drunkard anyway.’
F: Fucking hell.
The GF: Seriously! People use their illnesses as crutches. Pete Doherty can say, 'I was off me head on heroin when I sang that shit song!' But no, Cat proved me wrong. She won't have to say that.
Juno Soundtrack
The GF (sings along to Antsy Pants): ‘I am a vampire, I am a vampire!’
F: So you like this album?
The GF: Great film, great album.
Mgmt – Oracular Spectacular
F: I was slagging this album off recently. But you think it’s good…
The GF: It’s the opposite to Cat Power. It’s actually got worse the more I heard it. It’s just another 60s pastiche album. I give it 4 our of ten.
F: Why 4?
The GF: I like track 4.
Adele – 19
The GF: I love her voice. Even though it hasn't been trained. But only 3 songs are good. You can tell she's into Ella, Nina, Billie Holiday, but even though their voices are fantastic voices, they also sang beautiful songs. A good singer thinks they can put across any song, but they can’t. They need good writers to make the best of themselves. Or to write themselves. She needs good songs. She wrote this album. That’s the problem. It’s good for a 19 year-old, though.
F: Do you feel guilty for wasting 11 of my emusic credits on this album?
The GF: No, I don't! I was disappointed in the album, yeah. But I still listen to the good tracks. In my car. I sing along to them in traffic.
F: What about other drivers looking at you?
The GF: Oh, I don't give a shit. I'm used to it. Better me singing than some bloke picking his nose.
...
Is The Girlfriend right? Or a wrong 'un? In the comments, listen to tracks from Muscles, Magnetic Fields, and Yeasayer.
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Your Mag Fields exchange is priceless.
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The whole things pricless. had to wipe my eyes when I got down to "80's crap", I was lauging so hard. Great post Flux/GF!!
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@ Pekka - Hey, thanks for that comment. Although I'm not sure if it was priceless. It has cost me my dignity...
@ Scot - Really glad you enjoyed it. At the end I was also wiping away tears...of frustration.
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you two kill me with this stuff. I love this format. The only thing this post is missing is a picture. You know, a picture of you two sitting on the patio with a cup of tea or something, maybe as the sun is going down would be a nice touch.
oh, and the poor Aussie's.
...will be back later today to sample songs. Great read, thanks Colin.
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It's great to hear that, Mike. Thanks. You might like Yeasayer, not sure about the others.
Re the pic, good idea! Althoughf for now I feel I should play it safe and protect the guilty, so how about this one:
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Why don't you just set up "The Girlfriends" mog page already? We could do with her piece of mind around here!
Funny, I was just thinking of Nick Cage...Love (and mostly agree with) her thoughts on Magnetic Fields. I really like Yeasayer so I think they may deserve and overall better rating, but hey...she seems passionate about her opinion and I can appreciate that. ; )
Also, I second the idea of the picture...let's see it!
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does she really always beat up on you like that? lol.
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What did that Aussies do to annoy the GF so? I really only ask so I may avoid similar retribution.
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You really need to keep doing this. I'd read a blog that was just only you two doing reviews. :)
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Brilliant! I sometimes think Adele is imitating great voices of old instead of using her own... liking Duffy more.
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@ Sunny - Piece of mind?! I want peace of mind! And I wouldn't take anything to heart about Yeasayer - the reviews are just an excuse to sound off about anything and everything!
@ Dale - I think you're safe! The GF has just read the post right now and is cringing at some of the things she said. Her message to Mog: "Tell everyone I've sobered up now from the bad pint I got on Australia Day and want to apologize to all Australians." If only she knew of the really cool ones we have here on Mog....
@ Sam - "I'd read a blog that was just only you two doing reviews. (As opposed to the shite you usually knock out on your own)" Ha ha! Seriously, thanks for that comment Sam, much appreciated...but be careful waht you wish for. It could be your fave band next!
@ Neill - Thanks very much. But Jesus, don't get her started on Duffy and the "Amy Winehouse bandwagon" as she calls it. Personally I remember a live clip you posted of her that was excellent.
@ Mike - Help!
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outstanding...the Yeasayer banter was very comical...The GF is very fortunate to have you Colin, and you are lucky to have her as well, though she would probably say something witty about me saying so!...
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Tyler, you'll lose your badass rep making sweet comments like that. Thanks!
Although...re "she would probably say something witty about me saying so!", the GF says: "Tell Tyler he's a mind reader."
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Great tunes, great post...
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your killing me
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If the pint was a pint of Foster's piss, then the abuse is understandable. (Not that they drink Foster's in Australia.) But if it was Cooper's, close to unforgivable.
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glad I caught this one flux....... great stuff
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@ RGM - Thanks for stopping by. (No need to be nice, though, you don't really like Muscles though, do you?! Nobody could!)
@ Adam - Softly, I hope.
@ Pekka - It's unforgivable whatever the hell she was drinking. You're still in California, right? Susie Essman is the gf's hero:
@ Nick - Cheers, mate!
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First off, am I supposed to diss the Girlfriend just because you censored her on Vampire Week-End and other albums you reviewed on your own?
I'd like to protest against the blatant anti-Aussie manifesto. You didn't fool any one with your Girlfriend ploy. We all know you're allergic to Vegemite and hate Men At Work.
For your information, Australia is a beautiful country; it's not only about psycho-killers slaying hitchhikers and other back-packers; it's not only the country of dingos or man-eating marine crocodiles. It's not only about Foster-drinking and AustralianGold lotion-lathering "mites." Yeah, Aussies may live down under but they stand up with pride. -- I resent anyone commenting of this glorious nation of dirty players and walking skin cancers.
That said, the Finn bloke for Crowded House is a Kiwi, isn't he?
Now seriously, I'm less keen on Chan Marshall than the Girlfriend. I thought the album was rather weak for someone who could manage so much and did so in the past. I much prefer George Jackson's version of "Miss Aretha" for instance. Still, I'm slightly infatuated with the Chan lady and will gladly forgive her lapse of judgement (especially her overt love declaration to Mr Zimmerman).
Finally, it is my opinion that the Girlfriend should be given more voice and consideraion in the future... Especially, if she wants to have a go at Kiwis ;)
PS: Aussies make good parents too
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Ha ha! Another spirited performance! (It is a performance...isn't it?)
My as-it-happens reaction...
"First off, am I supposed to diss the Girlfriend just because you censored her on Vampire Week-End and other albums you reviewed on your own?"
No, she adores Vampire Weekend and finds Hot Chip okay. So diss her for other stuff!
"We all know you're allergic to Vegemite and hate Men At Work." True. The second part at least.
"For your information, Australia is a beautiful country; it's not only about psycho-killers slaying hitchhikers and other back-packers; it's not only the country of dingos or man-eating marine crocodiles. It's not only about Foster-drinking and AustralianGold lotion-lathering "mites." Yeah, Aussies may live down under but they stand up with pride. -- I resent anyone commenting of this glorious nation of dirty players and walking skin cancers." I used to have Australian Trusteds. They are gone for good now. And it's all because of THE GIRLFRIEND and YOU!
"That said, the Finn bloke for Crowded House is a Kiwi, isn't he?" Nah, he's a bleedin' lemon, mate.
"I'm less keen on Chan Marshall than the Girlfriend." Booo!
"Still, I'm slightly infatuated with the Chan lady" Pervo!
"Finally, it is my opinion that the Girlfriend should be given more voice and consideraion in the future..." This princess will only appear if TAPED IN AN INTERVIEW. She wouldn't dirty her manicured fingernails on a dusty keyboard to entertain you lot.
"...Especially, if she wants to have a go at Kiwis" Ok, she might make an exception.
Disgraceful picture...but at least it's not stretched.
Kudos!
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I've turned in my cares of reputation...since I obviously have none...
but in keeping with you two....Damn Australians....I went on a Silverchair kick, but now I'm over it so I'll forgive those down under this time....
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Late to this party. My GF uploaded 7000 songs to my iTunes before she went away for 6 months, so I'm a bit inundated with music at the moment and not Mogging as much as I thought I would be.
Having worked with Midnight Oil on 3 music videos and directed one for them, I'd have to say that I concur with the GF about the tunelessness. But hey, that never stopped too many people before. Think of people like John Lydon, or even those village mates of U2, The Virgin Prunes - and they're Oyrish!!
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@ Joe - we all have reps whether we like it or not - yours on this mog at least is a duuurty guitar-strummin' Christian. And as reps go, that's not a bad one. Better than a "charmingly haughty twat" which some mogger who shall remained nameless dubbed me this week...
@ Jonathan - How dare you impune The Virgin Prunes! They stride this island like gods! ... Nah, only kidding, we're not fans either. Sorry about the GF slagging off Aussie music. But even sorrier that you had to work with Midnight Oil, in a director capacity no less - "quiet on set" didn't extend to them, then? Shame!
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i can't say i've heard all (or even most of this).
but that's quite the dialogue.
i don't have much more to say than has already been said. but this is definitely a refreshing format...
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"i can't say i've heard all (or even most of this)."
And I bet you won't be running out to try them, either, such is the gf's destructive power! Thanks for the comment on the dialogue and format...it seems that this style is quite popular... I may continue it...
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but be careful waht you wish for. It could be your fave band next!
Go for it! Or has she already slagged Bloc Party? :) They're my favorite new band, anyway. My "favorite favorite" bands are old - Smiths, OMD, Cure, etc.
Or you could download my old band's stuff and see what she thinks! :D