DreamsInOrange

Every now and then a song just pops out of the recesses and says things that have been in the back of my mind in a more eloquent way than I ever could.

Lately I've been getting back into Turin Brakes. I heard The Optimist awhile ago and recently downloaded "Rain City" "Forever," "Over And Over" and "Building Wraps Around Me." They are all fascinating and beautiful in their own way, and leave me somewhat spellbound.

But what happened is that by chance I put "The Door" on a mix for a friend, and then realized what a message it holds for the people I love and I right now. I feel like we're all in a transition phase where big decisions are not too far away, a space both exciting and uneasy. We're getting through it both on our own and together, but it's still a bit overwhelming. It's big enough to sing about.

Here are the lyrics:

So take the fast road and get going now Before you leave no trace Time in this place was closer than my friends Remember my eyes not my face Innocence has no sense it invents Another man unfolds Well I'm standing next to myself the sink Staring into the black hole

I panic at the quiet times Decisions at the door I panic at the quiet times Faith leaves me to much more

On the inside it hurts less The outside seems so cold I need to climb, I gotta find some tenderness Before I get too old The sun comes from behind, it hurts my eyes It dries my hair so nice I watch the boiling sea meet the open sky But my soul still feels like it's ice

I panic at the quiet times Decisions at the door I panic at the quiet times Faith leaves me to much more

(At first I kept hearing "Faith" as "Fate.")

I was closing up at the Writing Center at my school where I work and was having trouble locking the door because it's ancient and I hadn't done it by myself before. To while away the time as I kept trying / waiting for someone who would help, I decided to put on my iPod, and after a few pressings of the skip button what should come up but "The Door?"

Now not only was that just hilarious because of the literal connection, it just fit, Wednesday nights after work always have an interesting texture. I seem closer to the real world then (this sometimes is intensified by darkness and rain and working with an MA student) and it feels slightly eerie but by the end of the time I always know that everything will be fine.

The song has been popping into my head frequently and becoming part of my mental atmosphere. It looks pessimistic, just reading the lyrics, but I feel listening is a different experience and doesn't leave me despondent, just filled with a sort of awareness and wonder and sense of moving forward.

Speaking of doors,. The Open Door by Evanescence is very good, and so carefully constructed it might make you cry. I feel they are very underrated in blogging communities like this, and easy to accidentally write off. This shouldn't happen.

Hope I've opened up some musical "doors" for people. Har har.