Perspective. I has it.
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It's been an odd and eye-opening last 24 hours, one of those days that makes you take stock and decide on what's really worthwhile.
Sunday night after dinner, I finally ask Morgan, our oldest son, why he's in such a funk. He had spent the entire day slamming doors and generally acting surlier than normal. He then proceeds to tell us how "lame" and "stupid" we are for not letting him get the skate shoes that he needs last Friday. Keep in mind, he had gone on trip to Omaha with me all weekend, and had been fine until he got home.
This morning, as Melissa and Morgan were heading out the door at 5:30 this morning, they're arguing because Morgan has magically found a new knit cap from American Eagle, when he has been telling us that he has no money for Christmas presents. My continued reposed gets interrupted permanently ten minutes later as Melissa marches Morgan back into the house and orders me up to "deal with him" because she suspects that he's been shoplifting said cap. Oh joy.
In any case, the rest of the morning proceeds normally until about 9:00, when Melissa calls me again. The news this time is much more somber: one of our good friends nearby had a house fire last night, and we needed to head over and try to salvage as much as possible. So, I set down whatever I was working on, and grabbed the things I thought we would need: storage buckets, hats, gloves, scarves, extension cords, our big light.
We headed over, and ... if you've ever seen a burnt house, you know exactly how ghastly it looked. The entire ground floor was naught but a burnt-out shell that smelled of soot from 20 feet away. The grounds were covered in frozen bits of soot and foam from the fireman's work. There were already about a dozen people doing as much as they could to get all the undamaged goods out of the house, so we jumped in and did our best. I was there for three hours, and though we filled one pickup truck full of their things, it seemed like a drop in a bucket.
The most poignant moment was while walking in the kitchen, we found a charred mirror onto which one of their kids had written "THIS SUCKS" through the soot. I couldn't agree more. I also wish we had brought the camera to capture it.
Anyway, we had been working for an hour when we saw the two oldest boys huddled over a piece of black plastic. They held it up for me to see, and I registered to my horror that it was their iPod nano, warped and twisted beyond repair. Now these boys may not share the same kind of musical taste that I do, tending more toward country and pop, but I know how much this family treasures music, and we knew how sick they must have felt to have lost their iPod.
So, Melissa and I made a plan, that we would go out and buy the two oldest boys each a small MP3 player. Nothing fancy, just something they could use for their tunes.
If any of you would be willing to assist in any way, we'd appreciate it. We're not exactly made of money, but for this family, it's totally worth it.
Here's a link to the story in the local newspaper.
Thank you for your time. And please don't be offended by the attached track.
Comments (21)
Sorry to hear about the fire. Best wishes to the family, that must be a hard time and a strange blow. All the best to them.
And good luck with your oldest son. Guess puberty (I forgot his age, I read it in your earlier post I believe) is just this thing most parents are confronted with. He won't end up totally wicked, a phase so many of us go through I guess. ;)
A house fire would be devastating any other time of the year, but at Christmas? That's beyond tragic. I hope they have family they can stay with untill things get sorted out.
Stef, I sometimes worry that Morgan's little fits will continue but then remember what a jerk I could be at age 15, so I try to not come down too hard too often.
Daniel, their neighbors across the street are letting them use their home while they're gone on vacation, so that worked out well. It does go to show the value of being a good neighbor; all sorts of neighbors came over to see how they could help.
Ahhh...the adventures of parenting. & Being a good neighbor.
I'm sorry to hear about that Dale - I constantly fear of house fires - have no idea why, probably because lately we have Christmas lights up and I just don't trust those hot little devils on anything but the greenest of trees. I couldn't imagine losing my laptop, which houses all my pictures and music and would honestly be irreplaceable.
No kidding huh Jeff?
Chocodile, they also lost two external drives, but a friend would work with a local computer guy to get the data off them. Still, that's a LOT of data, home movies and such, that's in limbo right now.
Dale, When my oldest daughter was fifteen Mother Teresa would have clubbed her with a 2X4. We were lucky we didn't kill each other, my daughter & I. She's 26 now and would punch thru walls for me.
It gets better.
I'm sorry. I have no idea how young teenage boys work, but from experience with my brother and friends (and myself, for that matter) it will get better.
And a house fire is pretty much one of the worst things I can ever imagine. Especially, as others have noted, at the holiday season. I hope that you and Melissa aren't the only kind neighbors they have that would be willing to help them out.
On a bit of a happier note, this is one of my favorite songs.
wow. Things are pretty tight here, but my heart goes out to your neighbors and I hope you're able to help them out. Good luck with Morgan--I'm certainly not looking forward to my kids reaching the happy, fun days of teenager-dom.
check your mail in a couple of days.
Yikes. Losing photos, videos, and music would be the biggest heartbreaker (well, yeah, your house too) but the rest is just stuff - replaceable. The photos and heirlooms, that stings the most. If I can find some scratch, I'll send it your way. My thoughts are with your neighbors.
Dale, send me your address, its the least I can do
Jeff, I do hope you're right. It's just hard when you're in the midst of it. You know exactly what I mean.
Julia, I do appreciate the insight. I know I'll be having some scary dreams about fnding the house in blazes. Seeing the wreckage was pretty awe-inspiring in the negative way.
Thankfully, they've got lots of good friends. One family we know well showed up shortly before we left with armfuls of clothes for their daughter, who had lost everything. Sometimes, people are wonderful.
Glad you like the song; it's one of my favorite J&MC albums.
Chuck, consider this fair warning. Apparently they all act like this at some time or other. Teenagers, that is. At least they eventually become adults.
Amber, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you rule! <3
Tyler, so true. We're just really thankful that we were able to salvage some irreplaceable things, like his vintage radio and some recording gear.
Kevin, done my good man!
Dale, I'm really sorry to hear this. I sent you a relative multiply message.
My warmest thoughts go out to your neighbours.
And as far as your dear son is concerned, there is no doubt that he will grow out of this phase.
xoxo
I hope so Anna, and right soon at that. His nastiness is really killing the family spirit around here.
oh, Dale, this makes me so sad. ): i can't even wrap my head around everything your friend's family lost. and the kids scrawling "this sucks" ...sob. i so feel for them.
re shoplifting, i understand teenagers go through a phase like that and, if Melissa is right to suspect, i hope Morgan gets over that phase soon enough.
sending extra doses of positive vibes in these trying times.
shit, man, i'm soooo sorry about that family. i wish i had more money to give. i'll see what i can scrape up to donate.
as for morgan, he's a teenage boy. there's not much you can do about that. i'm also suffering through a teenager at the mo (i'm the adopted auntie of a 13 yr old girl who grew up in a really shitty house and therefore has plenty of learning and social disabilities) and it's not pretty. but unfortunately you really have to just grin and bear it. and hope that one day they wind up regretting all the hell they put you through (as i do).
and he most likely didn't shoplift that cap. most kids are profoundly stupid when it comes to crime, and the pettier the crime the stupider the kid. though he's more likely to cop to theft then admit he (or one of his friends) actually paid for it. he's probably thinking if you think he stole it, not only will he get more attention but that you'll buy him stuff in the future. and if he cops to buying it he knows you'll ground him for lying and if you think he's got $ then you won't buy him stuff. it's the evil way a teenage mind works ;)
I know what you're going through with the teens. Ugh.
Hope the neighbor's reality made an impact.
A very sad story, Dale. I wish the family well. Keep talking to your teen, it's the only way forward, as you probably know. Actually I thought you were going to tie the story up by telling us you got Morgan to shoplift some new iPods, but no, that wouldn't be right.
Dale - Hey man, that sucks. I actually caused a major fire in my home when I was 13 (long story: I left a candle burning that was a makeshift bunsen burner for a chemistry set I was playing with). Because it started in my room - I lost most of my stuff. I would be happy to toss a couple of bucks your way to help these kids out. I will backchannel you.
Brutal, Dale. But it's heartening to learn that the milk of human kindness hasn't gone totally sour. Best wishes to your neighbors and to you and your family, As the seasonal song goes, we'll all try to muddle through somehow.