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CrashPryor
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CrashUp: I'm "Designer"...in an Era Vulgaris...

Posted over 2 years ago
...Badges? We don't neeed no steenkin', badges...so I get on the lot today and there's a new security guard at the main door...I walk toward my bank of elevators (as I've done for years on/ off)...and the new guard walks up to a brother and starts giving me what Wally and the Beav would call "the business"...I proffered my ID badge, ignored the hostile 'tude and rolled on out...thanks...brovah...Meanwhile, as the Barney Fife was busily keeping the world of entertainment safe from scofflaw writers in Adidas, a herd of "professional-looking" machers, rockin' haute couture, with their hair teased up to the moon (men and women), had slid on in with no botheration...as I rode up, in the middle of well-heeled twits, inhaling their second hand cell phone conversation (the basis for assuming said twit-ness), I thought of this Q.O.T.S.A. tune...fekkin' Mondays, yo...
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Comments (29)

  1. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says You shoulda given him the 'Skroob Salute' from Spaceballs. I swear, security people think they are so damn important. I understand the point of your post, that you feel singled-out, but as a whole, those people suck. How is that for stereo-typing?? That's right, I am anti-security personnel. I said it.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  2. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says #THA SHERIFF IS NEAR!!
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  3. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says Isn't anybody gonna help that poor man?? --Quiet, Harriet. That's a sure way to get him killed.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  4. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  5. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says Great clip crash (I love that someone video-taped it off of their tv). My dad had me watch this movie when I was like 6.....I have been a brooks junkie ever since. The guy is a genius. Anyway, sorry to hi-jack your post.....I just bought Era Vulgaris a week or so ago, and I don't think it has come out of the car yet. It is rockin.....I like this song, too. The lyrics are catchy. Ok ok, last one.....this sums up the sheer stupidity (yet brilliance of Mel B.)
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  6. Lyrikhan
    Lyrikhan says ^ classic
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  7. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says ...no worries...this is one of my favorite movies...La Petamaine Throughway...Harvey Korman was on point too..
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  8. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says Kill the 1st born male in every household? --too jewish #6.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  9. Shud33
    Shud33 says Ha! Sorry about that man..here's something to lighten up your Monday!
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  10. contrabandwidth
    contrabandwidth says I went to an Art College, and we used to have so much fun with the security guards. You would have access 24-7 to the studios, but the school shared space with the symphony orchestra and a theater, so I guess they thought we were in danger of steaing that stuff. They would get so mad when we wouldn't sign out, but there was nothing they could do about it. Meanwhile we would steal these awesome huge easels from the school and just walk out of the building with them. I never really understood their function, other than wasting a lot of our time during finals.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  11. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says @RaG3: this movie's full of great scenes...we'll have the whole thing on here (in 5 minute increments) in a little bit...these are hilarious... @Shudd...Otis Campbell!!!...Good one, that was a funny fugger....OMG...when his fingers hit Barney's nose, I burst out laughing in a quiet ass suite...thanks, yo...being Southern, I grew up watchin' that show... @Contra: it's so sad, really...for some of those guys, it's the only chance they get to flex any authority in their lives...funnily enough, I get more heat from brown people that look like me/ close to it...go figure...stay with this one...it's Gene Hackman and Peter Boyle hookin' a Brooks film up...
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  12. contrabandwidth
    contrabandwidth says Rest in Peace, Mr. Boyle. One of the greatest.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  13. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says that.s word...check Diane Keaton when she was funny...
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  14. Me and the Horse I Rode In On
    Me and the Horse I Rode In On says Great monday-post, Crash.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  15. Cody B
    Cody B says Here's some R-E-S-P-E-C-T Crash.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  16. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says Good switch on the movies.....equally quotable. I will see your YF and raise you
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  17. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says @Horsey: word...nothing like a little Monday mornin' harassment... @Cody: Thanks, son... @RaG3:...I'll see that and raise you a little High Anxiety...but please, no phonecalls...
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  18. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says Nicely done crash. I may have met my MB match. It's a damn shame that in the re-make of Producers they left out the best character......LSD (as played by Dick Shawn)......and without further adieu, one of the best scenes from comedy movies, ever. And after turning your entire post into a Mel Brooks appreciation page, I have always been curious....did Hyman name Mog for "half man, half dog, I'm my own best friend"....?
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  19. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says @RaG3: no, I think it had something to do with one of his kids' favorite toys or sth like that...I forget...
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  20. RaG3aH0liC
    RaG3aH0liC says I tell ya what Crash....you made my day fly by. Thanks for the Brooks exchange. Hope your day gets better.....tell that security pawn to f off if you see him again. You changed your name......to Latrine?
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  21. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says @RaG3:...I only have a few days left on this gig anyway...by the time I come back the old guy should be there...so, its a battle of wits, I see...ever hear of Plato, Aristotle...Socrates???
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  22. Shud33
    Shud33 says Ha! Well, If put a smile on your face...then my job is done here for today..lol
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  23. Mike the Knife
    Mike the Knife says Sadly, I know of what you speak, C.P. The programmed functionaries standing guard at the corporate moats don't much like my, um, Bohemian sense of stylee. With my name on the lists and passes galore, my tendency is to screw with them, but I try to rein it in.
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  24. tybees
    tybees says 14 videos in one post. Wow. I can't imagine watching them all even though I want to. Oh and that QOTSA track kicks!
    Permalink posted 07/09/2007
  25. mickimicki
    mickimicki says Actually in the good old days before Al Qaeda et al., when security was easy, my WGP (white German protestant) self managed to be the ONLY person picked for an "intimate" security check (alone in a booth with a female-prison-guard-type security officer). I'm not even sure why... that was my very first flight on an airplane actually, I had just turned 18, and a friend of mine had managed to get us free tickets to Berlin. A DOMESTIC flight of all things. We got to the airport really early and after I was singled out for removing my shoes and patting down my whole body, I watched the following passengers. To my astonishment, nobody else had to undergo such scrutiny. (And I was even holding a Business Class ticket). No idea what made me (a kid, really) look so suspicious. Bleached/pink hair? My baggy overalls and coat? What's so ridiculous about racial (or was it tracksuit-based) profiling is that any "evil-doer" would most certainly put on the right clothes to fit in with the target environment...
    Permalink posted 07/10/2007
  26. chucky
    chucky says People are stupid, what are you going to do? What I do is wish cancer on them, but I don't know if you are as mean spirited as I am. Heh.
    Permalink posted 07/10/2007
  27. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says @Mike: I hear you, sometimes it's hard not to be a hard-on right back (especially at screeners, in this town it's like the same people everytime I go to one-- I remember the guards and most of 'em are chillaxin'...it's those rotten apples that you remember)...I think "Deputy Dawg" was just being overzealous...still, like Richard Pryor (no relation) said: sometimes its just to early in the fuckin' morning to be black... @tybees: oh we had a high time trying to one-up each other to pass the day...and that QOTSA LP has been spinning for about 5 days straight)..... @Micki: mebbe it was the stick of dynamite hanging out of my backpack...juuust kiddin' ...I guess you've got a point...not only does it seem the "evil-ones" have adapted already...but a lot of the security folks, the first line of defense, no less, have gotten even more simple-minded...brown-on-brown, player hatin' is always the worst (if you're brown)...whatever's clever, tho... @charles: nah...I bitch and moan (like on one of these blogs) and thank my lucky stars that I'm not in that lot...wouldn't it suck to be, essentially a paperweight? (ohhh, I'm going straight to hell for that one)...
    Permalink posted 07/10/2007
  28. chucky
    chucky says Haha...I'm tucking that one away for future use. Here's one my mother would use when I was acting completely worthless: "Waste of oxygen."
    Permalink posted 07/10/2007
  29. CrashPryor
    CrashPryor says I call 'em "bear food", charles...by my estimation, if we were in our natural state and had to deal with mother nature face to face, with common sense and all, then the human race would be thinned out a great deal by bears, etc...oh well...that's life in the big city...for now...
    Permalink posted 07/10/2007

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