Photos: Inside The Botched Michael Jackson Neverland Ranch Auction

On Monday, after Hollywood auction house Julien's Auctions held their press day for some of Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch holdings - go-carts (including the Simpson-themed one above), bronze garden statues of children frolicking, vintage music players, life-size Star Wars action figures, MTV MoonMan awards, and more, every media outlet from Extra to the respected New York Times ran features on the shambles and sell out the King Of Pops life had become.

Once sandwiched between Ronald and Nancy Reagan on America's finest-coiffed lawn, showered with Grammys and Number One hit singles, and one of the few to be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame twice, the epic life of Michael Jackson seemed depressing, to say the least, flanked with little price tags bearing an auction reference number.

Truth be told no one knows what the 'eff is up with Michael Jackson these days. Is the man who holds the record for the highest grossing album of all time (40 million copies sold of Thriller) broke? Has his shnoze already fallen off? Does he call Vegas home? Oman? Burkina-Faso? The only legit thing coming out of Jackson's camp these days are the thirty Final Curtain Call concerts in London scheduled for this summer, followed by another 20 in January and February of 2010.

So earlier this month when the gates of Neverland and then some were wheeled out to the vacant Robinsons-May department store across from the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA, it caused a little buzz to say the least. Julien's Auctions President/CEO Darren Julien estimated a $3 million gross from the sales. However, by late Tuesday afternoon anyone's dreams of owning Jackson's white glittery glove, one of his Billie Jean performance staples, were squashed.


Back in March, Jackson and his production MJJ Productions filed suit to stop the auction from continuing. And with droves of news stories already printed to draw hoards of deep pockets still left during this '09 recession to MJ's knickknacks, all legal proceedings were dropped yesterday. Seems MJ likes his stuff and wants to keep it too.

"Both sides agreed NOT to move forward with auction, with the collection staying intact," Martin Nolan, Julien's Auctions Executive Director confided at 5PM PST Tuesday, "so fans will have the opportunity to view the magnificent collection in the future." He elaborated that both sides were happy with the outcome.

Read between the lines and this shyyt is going back to Neverland so it can become the next Graceland. That would be the smart thing to do. What's a meager $3 million, when an empty playland, known to draw children, sits in Santa Barbara County, California waiting to be made into an attraction that could reap more benefits. If Elvis and Dolly could do it, so can the guy that's sold buttloads more records. And truth be told Michael Jackson's stuff is whacky, yet entertaining to say the least. The mere items that Julien's Auctions assembled for the sale - which didn't even include Jackson' epic red Thriller jacket - kept me enticed for 2 hours.

The most captivating thing about the walk through Jackson's former livelihood was not the random wax figures of old women…

(I think that last one is a woman)

...But the schooling that was given of his influences and lifestyle that popped up from bookcases and rooms of paraphernalia.

His love of the Beatles that ended with a McCartney fallout after Jackson slyly outbid the Beatle in 1985 for the publishing rights to 159 or 251 Beatles songs was apparent.

Book after book - "The Lives Of John Lennon," "The Complete Beatles Lyrics," "Beatles '64: A Hard Days Night In America," "The McCartney Interview" - filled bookcases. There were others too, like "Recording Studio Design" and "The Business Of Music," that one would hope help shaped his successful recording career. "The Best Musicals From Showboat to Sweeny Todd" and a book on the life of dancer turned actor Fred Austere recalled the bad ass motherfucker who footloosed his way into our hearts in videos for "Smooth Criminal" and "Billie Jean." Whether Jackson has read any of them or not, they added a little sanity to the reclusive pop star's stained, child-loving image.

A walk through the incredible layout at the now-called-off auction felt like you entered Michael Jackson's version of the Rock and Roll museum. Ornate army jackets tookyou back to Michael Jackson circa the '87 Bad Tour. These were mannequined next to bedazzled jackets that would have made the Queen of England's crowned jewels jealous. At the dead center of it all a giant projector illuminating Jackson at his finest, wearing the gear, shamoaaaing and heeeee-heeeee-ing to a live audience.

There was your fair of share of weird shyyt too. The third youngest of the Jackson family, Jackson's issues with not wanting to grow-up were obvious. There is of course his homage to Peter Pan, the poster boy for the "I don't wanna grow up" slogan. In addition to the several dozen fairy statuettes in display cases and a life size Peter Pan replica, there were at least two instances where Jackson replaced the Pan's image with that of his own. The growing-up issue popped up again with the Zoltar machine from the Tom Hanks 80s blockbuster Big.

The love of movies didn't stop there. The Stars Wars collectibles included limited edition replicas of Hans Solo frozen in carbonite, a Lego life-size version of Darth Vader, Yoda, CP3O, R2D2. The whole Star Wars cast was there in some element or another. I counted two Batman bat-suits, a Superman replica that stood more than 7 feet high and even a Power Ranger popped up in the gaming section.

The gaming section! It took you back to the 80s and 90s all whilst putting the proverb "Kid In A Candy Store" to shame. It was almost like a homage to SEGA. Every SEGA system (Game Gear, Saturn, etc) and arcade game the company made seemed to encompass that part of the auction floor. There was Neo Geo, Ms. Pac Man, Alpine Racer, virtual reality, and three different photobooth machines. Even a version of Guitar Hero before it was called Guitar Hero - Guitar Freaks.

But the excitement of the game room rubbed off passing one display case on the way out. It held a handful of Jackson's awards. Sure the MTV MoonMan is no Grammy, but you sigh when MJ's coughing up his 1983-84 golden nugget for Best Overall Performance In A Video. That was the same year the world went bonkers for Thriller. Two others put a dagger through the heart - the American Music Award for Favorite Album -Pop/Rock "Dangerous" and the Favorite Album Soul - "Thriller ." One spectator who paid $20 to get in summed it all up best. "What a terrible life he had. I think I'd rather have nothing but be happy."

But the fact is Michael Jackson had everything and he's still has it. It's turning into crap that's going to be stored in some warehouse somewhere till someone decides to make Michael Jackson -land, and even then with all the court cases of the 90s would parents take their kids to the attraction? Oh, the irony.