Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration but here are a few of the funnier and more interesting quotes from interviews I've done over the last few years.

If I could add any feature, I'd like the site to be in 3D, with a gallery of prehistoric monsters that come alive when you put on the special 3D glasses
Danny Howells commenting on his ideal website feature in a March 2006 interview
There were people who came up to me at shows and complained because the album was not mixed.I got hate mail because it was not mixed or somehow people thought that it was mixed but mixed badly. There was even a review on an internet site where the reviewer said ‘for being one of the greatest DJs in the world this guy can’t mix to save his life’.
Christopher Lawrence on the reaction to his album 'All Or Nothing' in a January 2005 interview

I’ve been to Brazil twenty four times in the last five years. We coined the title for our track Love Story in Brazil. It’s named after a very seedy club there. The track came out on a black label, untitled. 1000 copies went out and people got hold of it all around the world and started naming it themselves. In Israel it was called Love Song. It was massive everywhere, but in Brazil and Argentina in particular took to that tune like a fish to water. It was their anthem and I think it still is. Over there people sit down when it is being played rather than dancing out of respect for the tune. I played a gig in Brazil a couple of years ago and did a five hour set on my own and didn’t play it. At the end of the night when I played my last record and it wasn’t Love Story everybody stopped dancing and just looked at me and I thought I was going to get killed. Luckily the next DJ had a copy so he handed it to me and said ‘Quick! Put it on, put it on’ which I did.”
Layo & Bushwacka explain the story behind their hit song Love Story in a January 2005 interview

It[the music he plays]changes every month, but having said that, I did a little test on the people in the crowd the other day. I played the same set of music more or less as I did the month before, and people came up to me and said 'where did you get your new tunes from?
LTJ Bukem in a 2002 interview

I was rocking to it, jumping up and down while playing at a gig in Greece. And the stage just went! It was made out of chipboard and I made a hole the size of a manhole and went straight through it onto the floor. It was only about a metre down so not too dangerous, but it would have been funny from the dance floor to see the DJ jumping up and down and then suddenly disappearing. I think I was going off to the track more than the people were. It was a CD so it didn’t skip. Thank god for that!
Anthony Pappa in an October 2003 interview

I was interviewed by the transportation authority, bomb squad, federal security and the FBI. I think I spoke to around thirty officials in total before I was released. It wasn’t all that long ago that DJs were only stopped at customs on suspicion of carrying drugs but now they think I’m carry explosive. It’s not easy being a DJ
Christopher Lawrence explaining how the entire airport was evacuated when authorities found traces of explosives on a box of music equipment that was being sent over to Australia to construct his studio in a 2003 interview

The future isn’t my strong point. I try and have some kind of an idea of where I’m going, but currently I’m really happy with where I am. I don’t necessarily see everything as having to be a growth cycle. Treading water can be fine too
Craig Richards from Tyrant in a 2004 interview

I’m very anti-sterile? Fucking hell, what a crap quote. I can see the headline now! ‘Danny Howells says ‘I’m anti sterile’”
Danny Howells takes himself out of context while using using the term to describe bland music during a June 2005 interview