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Bartleby
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Confessions Of A Funk-Fu Faker

Posted about 1 year ago

[Many Dibango - New Bell / 6:50]

Forgive me Funkster for I have faked. I have made bold statements about the extent of my funk-fu mastery and led my fellow F-parliamentaries into F-forgery.

It all began with the intimation of going to war for the Funk. Funkalised by the rallying cry of the West against the East, I enrolled when I was but a semi-ignorant F-dragon.

True, I was fairly educated in soul and RnB but Funk-Fu was more of a pastime than a vocation. So I faked and feigned, copying my moves/groves from other people who knew more and better.

In the midst this treachery however, a peculiar thing happened. As I simulated and passed for a Funkster, the Mothership took me in and converted me. I found out through my homework that Funk has many a shape. It is so generous that one cannot not feel the grooves.

In fact, Funk-Fu is a universal art form: From New York to Timbuktu, from Paris to Adelaide, from Canada to Cameroon, people pledge allegiance to the funk, the whole funk, and nothing but the funk...

Please click on the "New Bell" as it is my act of contrition. (That and the booty above)

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Comments (19)

  1. ivylander
    ivylander says You are not the first to have found enlightment through the funk. You do, however, have access to better photography than most of us. The maestro of makossa is always welcome Chez Ivylander, as is....does this lovely creature have a name? New bell indeed....
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  2. Bartleby
    Bartleby says I've noticed your post while doing my homework and at the back of my mind, this cut was meant for you, Bill. Actually, I was hoping you would get the not so subtle reference to your penchant for African grooves. As for the booty, I can't say I know the name of her owner. I wish I did actually. ;)
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  3. HelenMarie
    HelenMarie says Hehe! Ya F-foney. And the owner has to have a nickname at least involving F-photoshop. llay will back me up on that. ; )
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  4. mktackabery
    mktackabery says Bartleby, I have no idea what you are mea-culpa-ing about, but I forgive you. Around here, the booty pictures make up for a lot. :)
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  5. Spike
    Spike says Bartleby, no way she's not high maintenance; you're better not knowing more. I should know; I gave her that thong. But she is nubile, and "New Bell" is quite Africadelic.
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  6. Marigold
    Marigold says You had me fooled the entire time. I thought you to be a true funk meastro. I see my thoughts of you have manifested you into a legitimant funk master though. Good funking job Michael.
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  7. Oatmeal
    Oatmeal says Very nice. This track was sampled in a Busta Rhymes song back in the day, I think. Regardless, I love it.
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  8. bloodtea
    bloodtea says [Didn't they tell you it was oh so wrong to post pics of your funk-sista's booty on FFs? Sheesh! It pisses me more than knowing you're nothing but a fake motha-funker..] But, I do assume you just stated that in order to receive a __there-there__ shoulder tap: "oh Michael, you're so cool and funky..." Brother, keep on ringing that new bell of yours. You've just funkified me with such tune.
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  9. Bartleby
    Bartleby says O sister, I had to come clear because I enjoy the schooling so much. Not to mention the booty. Fake is a bit of a deceit also because as the song goes: "Why not do it if you can fake it?" That said, beware of imitations :p
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  10. Bartleby
    Bartleby says *Sunny*: Fes, findeed. After being a fhipster, I'm now officially f-foney - How did I know it was my bad Photoshop to get rid of some unsightly advertising message. ;) *Mktack*: Thanks Michelle for absolving me. Nice of you to pop in. *Spike*: Are you telling me that not only you can find incredible tunes but you also have a knack for subtle word plays? - Thanks for the warning. *Marigold*: I've exaggerated a bit in my false confession. Before MOG, I dabbled with Funkadelic and Parliament and some other stuff like "blaxploitation" soundtracks like everyone, I guess. But the Funk-Fu series has given a much wider scope and most of all a good excuse for posting booties and ladies. (Did you rub it?) *Oatmeal*: I had no idea about Busta Rhymes sampling the makossa master. Thanks for the free lesson. ;) Special thanks to Cody, Ivy, I Am and of course Bloodtea for turning me into a "maggot brain"
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  11. darmuzz
    darmuzz says The hipster equivalent of "Fake it 'til you make it" is "Act as if." Good job Bartleby!
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  12. Oatmeal
    Oatmeal says Yeah useless info, but on reflection I think he may have just impersonated the funky beat in stead of actually sampling it. What a delicious rhythm it is.
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  13. Augusts1
    Augusts1 says Nice fake funking though Michael. I had no idea! Maybe there should be some type of funk certification course to ensure against fake funkery. But then again, what the funk do I know?
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  14. RGM
    RGM says Very bootyliush...
    CustomComments for myspace
    Free Pictures from DrewpyDraws

    CustomComments for myspace
    Free Pictures from DrewpyDraws
    Permalink posted 02/29/2008
  15. poebegone
    poebegone says i wish my comment followed a less mesmerizing one, but well, Michael, your fonetics are still funkay so no need for f-ologies, f-ter all. ps- i back Helen up 100%. darlin, show el fffaker here the true fx of fotoshopping. (;
    Permalink posted 03/01/2008
  16. dermahrk
    dermahrk says You're copying groves? What are you doing with the oranges? You had us all fooled and you are still a better authority than me, so funk on, my brother!
    Permalink posted 03/01/2008
  17. Mike the Knife
    Mike the Knife says Chika-chika-chika-chika-wang!!! Funked again. No fu-ling!
    Permalink posted 03/01/2008
  18. Jonh Ingham
    Jonh Ingham says Is there such a thing as a bad Manu Dibango track? I don't think so.
    Permalink posted 03/02/2008
  19. Sauce
    Sauce says Aww yeah, I felt that
    Permalink posted 03/14/2008

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