Actors in Videoland: Pt. 2 - The Weirdest and Worst Appearances of All Time
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Seeing Hollywood uber-nerd Michael Cera star high-and-dry in Islands' recent video for "No You Don't" inspired us to hit music-vid archives. So many actors have starred in videos that naming them all would be an exercise in futility. Instead, we compiled the most notable celebrity appearances of all time. And by ''notable,'' we mean the good, the hot, the bad, and the downright ugly. Today, we take a look at the worst and the weirdest, lambasting the likes of Nicole Kidman, Luke Perry, and Ben Affleck.
THE WEIRD
¬ Guns N' Roses - Since I Don't Have You feat. Gary Oldman
The weird thing here isn't that Oldman is playing an imp who is messing with Guns N' Roses; the weird thing is that he failed to get the job done before Chinese Democracy came out.
¬ Orbital - The Box feat. Tilda Swinton
It's not so much a video as it is a short film and a very good one, at that. Famed Scottish actress Tilda Swinton (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) stars as a robotic yet human-like creature. Any further exposition is imprecise. Watch it and wallow in the weird.
¬ Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairytale feat. Adrien Brody
Tori's head is attached on the top of a calf and Adrien's head on the top of an arm; it's all very strange and nonsensical but it works out in the end, and on a beach to be specific, because love conquers all (except money). Or maybe I'm just jealous that she got to kiss Brody.
THE WORST
¬ Robbie Williams - Something Stupid feat. Nicole Kidman
Watching the two look into each other's eyes and sing some of the cheesiest lyrics ever conceived, I can't help but experience an epileptic fit that reaches its climax in the scene where they're making out and Kidman bites a rose. Now I've made out a few times myself (only a few, mind), and I have never felt the impulse to bite a rose. Well, maybe once.
¬ The Killers - Happy Birthday Guadalupe feat. Luke Perry
What better way to destroy a music video than to ask a washed-up BH90210 actor to star in it? Maybe asking him to chase balloons in the desert?
¬ Paula Abdul - Rush, Rush feat. Keanu Reeves
Keanu might be one of the most gorgeous faces ever to grace the big screen, but the optical illusion breaks when he opens his mouth. Things are not different when he stars in the video of this god-awful song as a good boy who's trying to save Paula from her knife-swinging, leather jacket-wearing, macho stereotype of a boyfriend. And just when you think that things can't get worse, the music of the video gets turned down for Keanu to deliver a couple of lines. She would have been better off using the wolf cartoon from Opposites Attract.
(with one minute bonus Keanu acting:)
¬ Jennifer Lopez - Jenny From The Block feat. Ben Affleck
The paparazzi are making your life hard and the press claim that you are an arrogant bitch (sic). But the truth is that you're just an ordinary girl and want to prove it. All you need to do to get your point across is make a video starring yourself in intimate moments with your untalented actor boyfriend and simulate paparazzi shots on expensive boats. If that doesn't work, just make sure that the press gets hold of photos of your nipple-tweaker at work during the video shoot.
Locating MOG account...
Comments (16)
Brittany Murphy in Tears for Fears - Closest Thing to Heaven - was pretty odd;
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the high point of all these low points seems to be that Robbie & Nicole "thing" wherein you mention a climax.
Just sayin...
I love that video for "The Box", but had no idea that was Tilda Swinton. Cool, I've learned something new.
Beware though, this is exactly how I will behave if I ever get to cross the pond ... minus the aviator hat.
Second that, love The Box. Didn't know it was Tilda. Brilliant.
Great list all round. How do you find work as a nipple tweaker? Is there a college course one could apply to?
Here's a silly rather than strange one: Christopher Walken dancing for Fat Boy Slim.
1. Tilda Swinton is amazing. She acts better than most without opening her mouth, except to gape at subliminal TVs. Luscious vid.
2. Adrien Brody...sigh. I remembered that video but forgot/didn't know he was the arm. His hair hanging in his eyes when they were horizontal...coulda been included in Part I, IMO. (once I read he wore a t-shirt that said "Fuck Me, I'm famous" and I fell in love. Is that bad?)
3. All nerds who aspire to coolness should hail Christopher Walken as their king. I pledge allegance.
Anna, you are missing out on lots of thorny nutrition by not having enough of a rose fetish!
Jesus, that Tori Amos video is pure nightmare fuel.
I'd be happy just to whisper in Miss Amos' ear.
Swooon!
I always got a kick out this Bonnie Raitt -- Dennis Quaid thing.
I love the Walken appearance in Weapon of choice... and although I LOVE the song Closest Thing to Heaven, that was a really odd video.
p.s. btw, a nipple tweaker is technically a fluffer, haha. That's a hilarious pic though, thx.
I totallly forgot about that paula abdul video. Not sure if I should be saying thanks for that
Yes, I absolutely always loved the Fatboy Slim vid with Christopher Walken. In your list, I think I was most disturbed/nauseated byt the nicole Kidman/Robbie Williams.
Keanu with long hair really stands out in a 1950s drama.