Still Video Life: This Week's New Videos in Still Shots
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What connects Snoop to The Killers? It ain't the ghetto/arena charm, it's this week's installment of Still Video Life. Music videos pop up like mushrooms, and it's hard to keep up and find the time to watch them all. But have no fear, for I am here. Every week, I'll examine with scientific precision the new videos of the week, and ''objectively'' present their highlights and downlights in the form of video stills. That's right, I'm a videoworm, so I might as well put it to good use. Let's begin, shall we?!
Basic concept: Directed by Mr. Wolf the video is a visual interpretation of the passionate romance between Damaris and Lewis.
On a full moon night, follow these instructions:
Cross in black (actress Gwendoline Christie mandatory)...
Play around in red...
Roll around on leaves...
Cross again in white...
... and you're there!
Grade: 8 (for the wonderful aesthetics)
Basic concept: band goes underwater.
The general aesthetic of the video reminds me of World Of Warcraft graphs, and I don't mean that as a compliment.
So, angry tribe members are chasing the Sounds' members (???). There's nothing for them to do other than fall off a cliff and into a lake to perform their song underwater (????).
Bloom! The whole band goes underwater. Or do they? They look like they're hanging from wires while fans blow in their faces. Oh wait, they ARE hanging from wires while fans are blowing in their faces! Oh you almost got me there.
She does look like a mermaid though. The creepy Harry Potter kind of mermaid, not the Daryl Hannah one.
Grade: 4 (for the allovertheplaceness)
Basic concept: a dance battle.
Really? Are we still doing the dance battle thing in videos? Really? Is it in an ironic kind of way?
Is it just me, or is Snoop NOT aging?? What's the secret? Is it that fancy stick you're holding there, Snoop? It seems to be exuding magical rays of blue light. Not to mention an infinite amount of pimpdom.
I may not approve your choice for video concept, but I'm all up for having Jamie Foxx as a referee (btw did you pick him because you both have an extra letter at the end of your last name?). Totally up for that. I would never object to him.
Grade: 3 (for the lack of inspiration)
Basic concept: people get weird thingies on them.
The question on everyone's mind is what happens when you drink the liquid off glowsticks (come on, admit that you've pondered this), and Delphic is here to give you the answer.
You get acne...
...digital cellulite...
..and your prickly disposition starts to show.
The cure? Sit on a neon light (NOT vertically)...
... and you shall be freed.
Grade: 7 (for working with the song 100% and for providing a cure)
¬ The Killers - Happy Birthday Guadalupe
Basic concept: a guy's ex is getting married and he's tripping around with children with heavy make ups, a cowboy hat, and balloons.
Wait, that bloke looks familiar.
Seriously, I know him from somewhere.
OH MY GOD, IT'S THE ALCOHOLIC DUDE FROM BH90210. Oh well.
Oh, the balloons. They roam around uncontrollably, like Perry's love that's going away, underline his pain when he gets to the church to find that the wedding is already over, and then escape his grasp to go to the sky, symbolizing a load of bollocks. Don't blame me, this is what happens when you use balloons metaphorically.
This video confuses me. It's a Christmas song, that sings Happy Birthday, uses make up from El Día de los Muertos (aka Day of The Dead), and all profits go to Product Red. Confusion aside, it's a bit disturbing to use make up that brings to mind Day of the Dead in a song connected to a disease-fighting charity. Just sayin'.
Grade: 2 (for the general lameness)
Basic concept: Raekwon and his posse are robbing a bank. Like Ocean's Twelve, but without the style and Clooney.
I'm not sure how many vaults you can break into with an imaginary gun and a Louis Vuitton bag, but I guess we're going to find out.
Let's play a game. It's called spot the hip hop video cliches. I got champagne, cigars, ladies with minimalistic attires (sic), hats worn in the way that implies that you have a pair of horns to hide, and the mandatory Louis Vuitton bag.
Raekwon is laying down his rhymes in front of a cell. Got it? In front of it, and not in it. He got away. For real.
Grade: 6 (for the unintended entertainment)
¬ Fiery Furnaces - Even In The Rain
Basic concept: Uneasy Riders, directed by Daily Show and Saturday Night Live writer Scott Jacobson.
Re-meet Fonda:
And Hopper!
Cameo city galore:
It all sounds witty and nice, but does it work?
Grade: 8 (for the creativity and enjoyment)
Hope you enjoyed that. Stay tuned for next week's installment! :)
Locating MOG account...
Comments (24)
Cool concept..I dig!
Aw thank you! My eyes hurt, but hopefully it was worth it :)
It's hard to believe that it was almost 30 years ago that my friends and I would sit around and crack wise about videos..you've evolved it into an art here.
Thank you!
Back in college I wanted to be a music video director, but now i see that it's much more fun to get drunk in my knickers (figure of speech, that one) and critique them :)
Very nice indeed. I didn't even know there were "release dates" for vids. Very entertaining.
Awesome! A great lunchtime read! Thanks Anna
Rad feature Anna! This is definitely cool.
Goodness gracious. This is awesome!!! Re: The Killer - OMG, I can't believe it's DYLAN MCKAY! ;)
<claps> Yay for Anna.. nice work and looking forward to the next installment.
This was a really cool idea...enjoyed this!
I'd be willing to bet that Snoop sold his soul to the devil which is the secret to his looking younger for so long. And I agree about Jamie!
Kudos to reviewing The Fiery Furnaces vid as well. Love 'em, as you know. Haven't seen that vid though. Haven't seen any of these actually. Of course Patrick would be here too! So glad his vid & TFF vid scored the highest!
Love the concep! Even got me to watch some stuff from bands i loathe :P
Thanks, lady!
-G.
Finally, a solution to the "too-old/limited-to-view-YouTube-videos" syndrome common to older computers. (As in Ye Olde G3 500MHz Pismo.) This is a giant step backward for streaming videos, but third world folks with "email computers" should find this page useful.
Anna, your light touch cracks me up. For instance, "btw did you pick him because you both have an extra letter at the end of your last name?" Thank you for being out there in the trenches, battered by cut-crazy bad editing i presume, taking it in and distilling it for us. Tech question: how or where did you get those stills?
haven't you heard? Snoop made an entire video about his deal with the devil. This is obviously why the guy never ages. Someone should do a study into the anti-aging effects of pot. Next thing you know, L'oreal is marketing it to housewives and the cotton racket goes bust in the US. Just saying ;)
I love the Sounds. I hate this video.
The killers video is like a bad remake of american beauty. We need to start a foundation to get Dylan back into the world's good graces.
Thank you, Tyler! It's not a strict thing, just the new videos that came up this last week :)
My pleasure, Jeff! Lunchtime is the best time (after ghost-time) :)
Merci, Scott! Videos don't kill the video stars and all that :)
Aw thanks, Brittany! I KNOW! This could only be worse/better if Kelly was playing his last love.... eck!
Ghost, cheers! Next Friday... it's a video date!
baeble music, thanks! So glad you enjoyed!
Uncle A, I think he's probably selling pot to the devil, actually. Har har har!
The FF video popped up the very day I posted this, but I knew I had to include it, it's pure entertainment! Not to mention that I watch Jon Stewart whenever it's on, so I couldn't leave it out...
PS Patrick Wolf FOREVAH.
Awww, G! Thank you! Watching bad videos from bands we don't like is oddly satisfying :)
Aiea48, HA! I hadn't thought of it that way!
BTW all the video titles are links to the videos for all the folks with the new fancy computers, so I hope everyone is happy :)
Charles, glad to know that! I never thought I'd be a video filterer when I grew up, but this is where life took me ahahhaha
When I see an image I want to use, I pause, press the Print Screen button on the keyboard, and then Paste into an image programme (it can be anything from Windows own Paint to more sophisticated programmes).
Gina, ahahhahahah the anti-ageing effects of pot! Now there's a campaign that will help legalize it!
The L'oreal slogan will change from ''because you're worth it'' to ''because you're smoking it'' ahhahahahhahahahhaha
I say we put Dylan in a bathtub filled with rose petals, let him marinate for a month, and see what happens...
Great idea and post, Anna.....I hope i do see L'oreal ads soon that address the benefits of pot (on our skin, anyway)
Thank you!
The public may not yet be ready for that kind of ground-breaking marketing... but we should definitely trademark the idea for the generations to come. :)
Love a good music video so I'm loving this post.
The Sounds video looks interest - will give it a Youtube.
I quite liked Damaris too - not my fave video ever or anything, but if featured a forest so I'm chuffed. (When listening to the song I always imagined there'd be woodland).
You seen Paramore's new vid? It's quite cool!
"You get acne..." Ha ha!
Anna, I love this idea for a blog post - brilliantly executed too.
I'd be a fan of Luke Perry since his turn as Reverend Jeremiah Cloutier in "Oz". So you made me watch a Killers video, damn you!
Cheers, milkshake, glad you do!
Wow... ''wiil give it a Youtube''... loving that expression now!
With you on the woodland! Song has that earthy feel to it.
I have not seen Paramore's, thanks for that!
Fluxy, you do. Try it, I dare you, I double dare you!
Thank you, my dear!
Wow, so many years have passed and he's still such a rubbish actor. Just like Flowers is a rubbish singer. MWUAHAHHAHA!
Oh my God, the alcoholic dude from BH90210 _is still_ alive?!?
Brilliant concept and execution, darkling, huge gratsies to you for this! I am looking forward to all future installments.