The Fellowship of The Shoe
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MusicRX created a shoe theme monster (where's thy post!), Mike unleashed it, and I'm going to teach it how to roll over and fetch. Mwuahahahahahahah!
Ah, music and shoes. Two fetishes meet, collide, wrestle, make up, make out, go shopping, take over the world, destroy planet earth, and rebuild it from scratch in the shape of a shoe (that would be a magnificent b-movie).
So many songs have been written about shoes. And so many shoes have been manufactured with music in mind. Joxley managed to steal Arctic Monkeys' Dancing Shoes and Franz Ferdinand's Eleanor Put Your Boots On from me, so I'll have to resort to a bit of profanity {sorry, Dale, it's Joxy's fault!}, which nonetheless speaks poignantly of a universal truth which makes relationships between humans easier {and sometimes too easy}. The "fuck me pumps", aka the one shoe to rule them all. The item that made eyelash-batting redundant. If women wore them perpetually, they would probably rule the world. Or more likely, the shoes would get a life of their own and take over both women and men {see aforementioned b-movie scenario}.
Enjoy ;)
Satellite view of Planet Shoearth, after the takeover:
International anthem after the takeover, on the melody of Black Eyed Peas' My Humps:
What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?
I'm gonna get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my pumps,
My pumps, my pumps, my pumps, my pumps, my pumps,
My pumps, my pumps, my pumps, my lovely little pumps
Comments (35)
Ha! A most amusing post. Anna, your wild wide through the sole music universe has started my Friday on the right note, thanx.
My pleasure, Jeff! Just remember, when the Planet of the Shoes time comes, whatever you do, do NOT let them make you live in the end of the heel! Criminal rates will be off the charts there. Heel ghetto :)
I must desist: I don't think a woman's footwear has ever made "sealed the deal", but I'm weird so take that with a grain of salt.
On that note, while I've mentioned before how cool I think those purple Chuck heels are, you should see the cobalt blue low-rise Chucks I'm sporting today. I liberated them from Morgan, and they're gorgeous!
Dale, you don't want The Shoe That Shall Not Be Named to hear that, it will take it as a personal insult!
Cobalt blue, very nice! By "liberated" you mean "nicked", don't you :P
I'm am the polar opposite of Dale. I am a complete slave to a woman in a hot pair of shoes (boots, specificly). I would be the first to bow down to our new pump wearing masters. Sexy shoes just do something to me. I swear, I've been in the mall, seen a pair of boots that I loved and thought to myself, "I need to find a woman that would wear THOSE!"
Panther, you shall be spared and rewarded.... might even be given special privileges when it comes to the Boots class of our new masters :)
The boots that make an appearance in this video at 1:49 will be in charge of making sure that the human slaves behave:
No, when I say "liberated" I mean "rescued from purgatory at the back of his closet after her said he had to have them, then never wore them for months." No Chucks should suffer that fate. They're maybe a full size too small but I don't care, they're getting worn doggone it!
Let me also add that I would unquestionably be leading the rebellion should the shoes take over. I am not afraid of those pumps and I will beat their tushies! :)
How about boots? This Robert likes boots.
Dale, no need to fight. I think it's obvious that you rescued a lovely pair of shoes from oblivion and dust, and you too shall be rewarded! Now I'm not sure we can save Morgan, he might want to get on with the underground revolution movement...that's no way to treat shoes! hehehehhe
Robert, Boots will be in charge of law enforcement. Yup! :)
Messenger: If you value your life over your complete annihilation, listen carefully Troy. These boots conquer and control everything they rest their heels upon. They lead an army so massive it shakes the ground with its march, so vast it drinks the rivers dry. All the God queen of footwear requires is this, a simple offering of heart and soul. A token of your submission to the will of the fuck me pumps.
Anna, I would gladly server those boots for a thousand lifetimes. :)
Did you know that the phrase "fuck me pumps" was first used to describe the shoes Joan Crawford wore?
I'm just mentioning this because I'm grovelling for leniency when the shoes take over the planet.
I am yours to command, Master.
Troy, even if it's a he, you address those boots as "Mistress".
Damnit, I'm screwing up already! I'm new at this whole "submission" thing.
I'm assuming Roberto Cavalli will have some place in our new dictatorship.
John, I had no idea...and I love the info! You shall be granted lenience!
Troy, that message up there is the perfect voice-over at the trailer for the film!
Don't worry, boots are not new at the domination thing, so they will teach you well....
Troy, where my post and your post come together...
Damn. Keep posting shoes like those two pairs and I'll be fighting to get front of the queue.
Thanks for those boots.
Now I know exactly what I'll be looking for when I go out tonight.
f&ck me! i want to go shoe shopping now!!
Ouch! I'm gonna have to give this thread the boot. So now, the shoe's on the other foot.
I need shoes. Not those in your post, but ones that will get me through next winter. All-Stars (Converse, whatever) are not wind-proof, snow proof, or water proof...
how is it troy always seems to be able to pick out the shoes I would love to see wating for me after a hard days work.............
When the new millenial shoe world shall reign, thou shalt not fuck with me and my "*HELLBENT SHOES!*":http://www.shoebuy.com/demonia-ranger-302/241024/516541?cm_mmc=yahoo-feed-_-none-_-none-_-none since I will be a highly appointed official in the hierarchy of the shoe universe([patent leather will be de rigeur for high ranking officials]especially since I've always had a shoe fetish for stylish, fun & killer men's shoes)! Unfortunately, my personal shoe slave assistant will need to do my typing for me, lol(feel free to delete my previous fucked up comment, please). Love your song choice for this post ftr.
RE: The Ellis-Bextor boots
O hell yes.
Who knew that shoe "strings" would be so popular :)
Btw, just watched that Bextor vid & THE afforementioned shoes make a previous appearance at 1:26 minutes. What kind of shoe fetishist are you niece?!
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Jonh, you are a man of excellent taste! :)
Robert, glad to be of shoe service!
Troy, awesome! Knowing what you're looking for always helps :)
Brittany, I know, me too! Your sugar daddy or mine?
Stefan, I have the same problem. All Stars are nothing proof. Let me know if you find something good :)
Kevin, you and Troy should go "shoe" hunting together ;)
Mike, if you're gonna give me the boot, make sure that it will be a ridiculously good-looking one :)
Uncle A, yauza! Demonia and you will be in the execution force, and a special place shall be reserved for your personal shoe slave assistant as well ahahhaha Merci :)
I know they make a previous appearance but I thought that if I noted it I would be officially labeled obsessive hahahaha oh what the hell, this is a fetish post anyway, and the only way one should approach a fetish is obsessively :)
Prince Charming, I know! When I first saw the video a few years ago I instantly fell in love with them, and I still can't get over them :)
MusiRX, of course! Couldn't find your post that started it all :/
Neill, that one has a military invasion flavour. It shall be used accordingly :)
I know the official obsessive label has been tagged on you long ago when you latched onto the Arctic Monkeys my dear. So enough w/trying to keep up the pretension! Fetish post indeed. . . .
And thanks for the Executive Enforcer position(one of my faves[wink, wink]). I'm sure my assistant will enjoy the new position too, hehehe To celebrate it I will definitely be acquiring those Demonias since they will help me act the part. It's amazing what an incredibly gothy pair of shoes can do for one eh?
Great post A, had me guffawing ... as to footwear, I notice a commonality amongst the pix, all stiletto, urrrgh ... bad on the ole achilles tendon not to mention spine
This reminds me of the line in Alphabeat's "Fascination" about easy living killing the young dudes in the high boots...except in my experience it's the birds in the high boots that are always killing me.
This video is cheese embodied...and undeniably catchy.