Happy S&M day!
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Artist:
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Album:An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer
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Track:
{play the red button -best song I can think of for this day- and take a deeeeeep breath}
Chapter I, Vintage Valentine
Very early in high school, a boy gives me a red teddy bear. I throw it at him, and run.
Right before college, my boyfriend at the time gives me a bouquet of red roses with some hearts in it. I walk out of his apartment.
2007, Valentine's day on MOG. I post Spacehog's At Least I Got Laid {http://mog.com/Anna/blog/45410}.
Yesterday, I'm standing in line at a super-market, and after having seen 57329.6 men carrying flowers around, I turn to my friend and say {loudly} "I'm sick of seeing men holding miniatures of the botanical gardens. I don't understand why someone has to wait for this particular day to do something like that". I detect movement with the corner of my eye, I turn around and see a 45 year old man holding a bouquet and blushing up to his eyebrows.
Chapter II, The Dedication
This post is dedicated to:
~ the ones who are/have never been/were/want to be in love
~ those who learned nothing from their glorious mistakes other than to repeat them with surgical precision
~ those who mistake love for lust and lust for love {well done}
~ those who never looked back and those who can't take their eyes off of their memories
~ the ones that set everything on fire just to have something bright to look at
~ the charlatans, the pretenders, the libertines (I'm only partially naming bands), the beggars, the hedonists, the cripples, the sadists, and the masochists.
Chapter III, The Mix
Below you will find one mix broken in two parts. From me to you, 16 of the most inappropriate VDay indie songs I could come up with. Enjoy ;)
Part I
~ Archive - Fuck U
~ Murder By Death - Ball & Chain
~ Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Down Boy
~ Queens of the Stone Age - Gonna Leave You
~ Electric Six - Gay Bar
~ Gogol Bordello - Think Locally, Fuck Globally
~ Death from Above 1979 - If We Don't Make It We'll Fake It
~ PJ Harvey - Long Snake Moan
Part II
~ Arctic Monkeys - You Know I'm No Good
~ Scissor Sisters - Tits on the Radio
~ Peaches - Tent In Your Pants
~ SohoDolls - Stripper
~ Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up
~ Shitdisco - 72 Virgins
~ The Warlocks - Zombie Like Lovers
~ Glasvegas - Fuck you, It's Over (this one is dedicated to my now ex-crush, Glasvegas' James Allan, who at their show on Sunday kept sending kisses to a girl, and after the show was over, leaned down and whispered something to a security guard while pointing at the girl).
Comments (46)
Masochism Tango was the name of my radio show in college.
Excellent choice...
Great mixes, but I think this says it all really...
If I made a CD out of my mix, I wouldn't be able to find something more perfect than that for the cover.
Man I love this post, my wife and I feel the same way, we despise corporate holidays. Great stuff!
I now like the Psuedomacabres even more.
One day we will rule the world and ban this day.
very well said and put anna, i give you also one more, a bit 'lighter' but up to the point: Nico: 'my funny valentine" ..she says the same thing with you and i couldn't agree more..
so tell us how you really think. All seriousness aside, I love valentines day...I walk around all day with a heart on
Just because James Allan kept sending kisses to a girl, and after the show was over, leaned down and whispered something to a security guard while pointing at the girl, does not mean anything nice happened to her. She could well be buried under a car park by now in Leeds.
.
(...and Lincoln, and Nottingham, and Norwich and Cardiff.)
Aye carumba!
Meanwhile on Planet
Neill, Blair posted a link to that website and I immediately lost two hours of productivity. So bad, it's good.
I don't mind this day nearly as much as I used to, but there is a LOT of pressure to get something special this day, and I intend to comply.
OUCH! Such bitterness Anna! 'spose it makes for a fine protective barrier.
But no matter, I still heart u :-)
xxxxxxx
oooooo
xx
ladyIoana, thank you for that! You, me, and Nico are all right :)
Jeff, me too. And a dress shaped like a heart, and a heart-shaped hat, and listening to Heart :D
Neill, awwww! "She could well be buried under a car park by now in Leeds." that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me :*
Oh my god. Are those for real? Life is fun!
Dale, that's perfectly fine. As long it's not something mass produced and impersonal.
I have a rule never to go out with a bf on a valentine's day. I fear that it would make my brain implode :)
Inrumford, oh don't try to psychoanalyze me, many have tried and didn't live to tell ;P
The day is such an easy mark that I find it impossible to resist it. ;)
Love is definitely a rollercoaster ride, I do prefer the ups to the downs, but the ride, for me, is always an INdiana adventure in personal growth and have learned alot about myself in all my encounters, the sex is also a bonus :)
I don't know why everyone gets so worked up about it being two days away from President's Day.
Also, I stayed up all Thursday night to get GRRL TAWK tickets. I got them, the show sold out in 12 or 20 minutes or something.
And I'm single...again.
I don't need V. day to get a heart on, hehe. Great sarcastic mixes niece(& love alot of the songs already but look forward to hearing the ones I don't know) & love the Tango song too, made me laugh. 'Tent In Your Pants' is an awesome song, here's some of the lyrics:
'the tent's so big in your pants, baby
i'm gonna bring my friends for a dance, baby
gonna sell those tickets advance, baby
an immense gig up in your pants, baby
you lick the pole when it's cold and your tongue'll stick
so keep the party pumpin' and thumpin' and shit
rubbin' the club, legs in between
lovin' the scrub, keepin' it clean
we're gonna wash that pole
we're gonna wash that pole
we're gonna wash that pole
scrub that pole, wash that pole'
Now that's romantical!
In terms of inappropriate Tom Lehrer songs, how can you not go with the one he got the most requests not to play?
I Hold Your Hand in Mine - Tom Lehrer
I think I would be more into VD Day. Its the gift that keeps on giving. Brought to you by Glaxo-Smith-Kline.
I don't really have much use for Valentine's Day, although I am one of the blessed to have found my heart and made him mine. In an attempt to regain Anna's wicked respect, I will leave a sweet little poem I wrote for my high school boyfriend and published in the school newspaper.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Don't worry babe
I've got it too.
Happy V.D.
Anna: To tell you that I'm floored that you streamed a Tom Lehrer song would be an understatement. He was a childhood hero of mine from the first time that I heard "Poisoning the Pigeons in the Park" and what is generally considered his most infamous song, "The Vatican Rag." This is one of the myriad reasons why I "heart" u - even at the risk of alienating you on the feast day of that misguided masochist St. Valentine. P.S. I "heart" the nasty two-part mix, too. Better than candy! (If today was just overtly, unabashedly about sex instead of an idealized perception of romantic love, it would go down - heh! - so much easier.)
Anna - Just for that, I'm wishing you may hearts and flowers and kisses and hugs! Ha HA! My spouse & I also decline to celebrate this corporate holiday - we have always celebrated both our anniversaries instead (our first date & our wedding anniversary)
Love the mix!!!
Thanks for giving me yet ANOTHER opportunity to post this! :-)
VD is love by coercition...
Don't even think of giving me your heart. I can't stand the sight of blood.
Love isn't blind, it's retarded.
come on anna, just say it. i know you want me to ask you to be my valentine.
well im not so bite me.
Indy, sex is a bonus? I thought it was the main goal and love was the price we had to pay for it. ahahhahahhahah :P
Heath, grats on your successful ticket endeavour!
Single shmingle. Go to Mr. GT's show and dance like there's no February the 14th :)
Thank you so much, uncle A! I think that Masochism Tango is a pure gem.
Peaches knows romantic:
the tent's so big in your pants, baby {complimenting her man}
I'm gonna bring my friends for a dance, baby {sharing the joys of life with her beloved friends}
gonna sell those tickets advance, baby {gathers up funds to take her man out to dinner}
an immense gig up in your pants, baby {shares this high form of art with the rest of the humanity}
you lick the pole when it's cold and your tongue'll stick {warning her man so that he won't end up in a compromising position}
so keep the party pumpin' and thumpin' and shit {wants everybody to have a good time}
rubbin' the club, legs in between {solves the problem of petrol's high price}
lovin' the scrub, keepin' it clean {is fond of cleanliness}
we're gonna wash that pole {and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty in order to achieve it}
If Peaches is not a romantic and altruistic person then I don't know who is! hhahahahah
TynansAnger, wow, thanks for that! Loved it.
G, ahahhaahhaha true. And it doesn't cost much, or so my friends tell me ahahhaha
Amber, my dear, that poem exonerates you for the next 10 years. Well done!
Mikey, awww! That's excellent, I had no idea! I'm still a Lehrer neophyte, so if you have any guidance, please do tell. The man is just magnificent, and I'd love to dive deeper into his world.
I welcome that type of hearting :) I'm so happy that you approve of my song choice so!
Thank you so much. Candy disappears in a minute, while nasty mixes leave their seal forever...mwuahahhaha!
{I know! Let's just let them have this day for their love, and we can keep on celebrating sex on the 364 days that remain}
BecauseYouAreHere NOOOO! Why must you punish me this way!
I like you and your spouse already :)
I'm glad to hear that, thank you!
GarageRock, ahhahahahha thanks for giving me yet ANOTHER opportunity to watch it! Pure awesomeness.
You reminded me that I had never seen the video for Danger! High Voltage!. I'm so glad I did now. It's just great...
Rejean, nice!
I always thought that since people go around giving their hearts as easily, it must not be an important vital organ, after all. Just an over-hyped and over-rated one ;)
Sam, will do. Just let me know what your blood type is in advance ;F
Ahahah! I heart this post. I think your #5 and #2 dedication hit home, and one of those surgically precise mistakes is that I now hurl stuffed animals better at anyone who gives me anything with hearts in it. ;d
I love the mix. Fuck that James Allan (on your behalf) for having a Valentine!
Anna, I am late seeing this, but let me just say: so far, you've made my day!!
I remember this song on "Dr. Demento" (Sunday Nights) and it was funny to me even as a kid....but given all of the stupid V Day ads, etc...well, I was more than ready to hear THIS now!!
Whether I'm in a relationship or not, Valentine's Day has always been one of the stupidest, most transparent "holidays" ever to be made up!
Anna: I think a post on Mr. Lehrer is in order. I shall proceed with the assignment a.s.a.p.
I trust that you spent the weekend with the clone machine pumping out skinny brit pop singers to help pass the hours.
I know who that guy is HA!
You miserable sodette.
V-Day at our house:
Thought I'd wait a couple days to stop laughing. Anna, great post.
The gross commercialization of holidays speak to greed. It perverts those precious few that once held any significance. I suppose "advanced" civilzation has become so anesthetized to its own degradation and dehumanization that all things, sacred or profane, can be mocked equally.
" holding miniatures of the botanical gardens." -- That made me just about lose my coffee all over the screen. Classic!
Thanks for your dedication - I hit almost every one of those astute observations, though my mistakes are not repeated with laser precision - more of a napalm drop just to make sure I hit the target.
" holding miniatures of the botanical gardens." -- That made me just about lose my coffee all over the screen. Classic! Thanks for your dedication - I hit almost every one of those astute observations, though my mistakes are not repeated with laser precision - more of a napalm drop just to make sure I hit the target.
poe, thank you! And I heart your new avatar. Grats, my darkling. Practice makes perfect ;)
That's great! You hear that, James Allan? You don't know what you're missing! ;P
Andrea, glad to be of service!
I think it's the perfect song for the day. Should be made the official hymn :)
Exactly. I was always disgusted by it and I will always stand by my guns. Here here!
Mikey, aw thanks! That would be wonderful!
Eric, my my. I wish! Now THAT would make a great VDay gift!
Colin, "miserable sodette"...my next imaginary band will be called The Miserable Sodettes.
Aw you two lovlings!
Ann, thank you so much :)
I know, it's just terrible. And it's a constant overload that keeps popping up everywhere. I'm expecting to see Valentine's day toilet paper with hearts on it soon.
Sad but true. And this day is such a mockery of itself that the amount of energy one needs to mock it is alarmingly minimal.
Jonh, oops sorry about that :)
You're very welcome. Mmmm... I love the smell of napalm on Valentine's day ;)
Adam....who? ;)
{gotta love the short-term memory of a girl scorned ;P}
this is great. Love it!!
Aww thank you, lady! Glad to hear that :)
Niiiiice. I got to this post a little late, but I recommend:
It's maybe less bitter (and thus awesome) than your picks, but it works. I wish I could track down the live recording I used to have...much grittier
Why thank you! And your song works like a hex {can't really say "charm" under these circumstances} ;)
"the ones that set everything on fire just to have something bright to look at"
God, I love you, woman!
Anna, I thought fer sure I'd see this viddy on your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6CGmxKEGow
Mooska
Aww! Love you, too, oh Panther my Panther!
Pyromaniacs have so many motives. This is just a neglected one of them...
Mooska, EXCELLENT choice! I can't believe I didn't think of that :D